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Blogs > Frank200281 > My Blog

A Follow-Up After A Week  

Frank200281 54M
3 posts
12/18/2017 4:55 pm
A Follow-Up After A Week

Hello Everyone

In my last post, I shared a little more in regards to my religious background and mistakenly getting involved with the cult known as Jehovah's Witnesses (JW's) which is why I am still suffering from erectile dysfunction, but there were other contributors, such as being sexually abused by men when I was younger and the hurtfulness that I feel as a result of that. I still feel pain in other ways as well from that. I have been in therapy for a long time and I would like to seek other therapies as well, such as sex therapy. I really need all the help and therapy that I can get. Right now, I'm in mental health therapy where I do take psychiatric medication daily, but it isn't enough. I need more, but I don't know how to go about getting it. I'm thinking that the next time I see my current therapist, I will ask about sex therapy and ask if they know of any sex therapist that I can see. It would be great to get this psychological monkey off of my back and regain not only my erectile potency, but also, my true identity, which is male.

Also, I did bring up that I was selfish for not letting others' help me when they wanted me to give sex a try. As I said, I only said no as a result of what the JW's taught me and was only doing what I was taught was the right thing to do. It took me a long time to realize that I was set up to sabotage my relationships and was also being emotionally manipulated and brainwashed by them when they fed me their man-made doctrinal rubbish through their books and other publications and such. They really love using the activity of "sex" to prey on vulnerable youngsters, which is what I was when I was seeking and trying to find what was right and wrong. They fed me that sex is strictly for those who are married and not to be used casually. I swallowed everything hook, line and sinker. It also made me regret getting involved with them, although that regret really didn't sink in until 2002 when the pedophile scandals were being exposed on TV news shows, such as Dateline NBC. I believed all of that they taught me only to later realize that it was all for nothing. It only left me miserable yearning for sex, but I was scared of doing that as s result of their teachings and anything related to them. I still have that fear because the JW's really put the fear of damnation in me. I want to heal from the negative affects of both the sexual abuse I suffered and endured and from the negative affects of the JW religious cult. I would like to meet others ladies here for some real loving and fun. I also want to start learning how to do it and learn how to be a good lover. I also want to regain my potency as I am sick of the psychological ED that I have. I would like to meet other guys for friendships and maybe, I can learn from them on how to be a man and the man that I'm meant to be.

There were also other reasons why I refused to have sex and it wasn't just the JW religious cult. The guys that tried to get me to have sex had attitudes like you wouldn't believe, especially this one guy. This particular guy was a narcissistic type. He always talked more about himself and continually rubbed my nose with his promiscuous lifestyle. He bragged about how much he was getting and how big he was down below and all that. I was afraid that if I started to<b> screw </font></b>around like he was, I would turn out like him and be the same type of guy/person that he was. He's still the same narcissistic type as he still continues to brag so much about himself. Narcissism is one of the biggest turn-off's for people, both male and female and it's a terrible personality quality. I don't like narcissism as it does turn me off. This is why I avoided sex and anything related to it as a result of this guy's/person's narcissism. I was simply afraid that I would turn out like him if I started having sex and screwed around. I also didn't want to become an addict of sex as he was also an addict. His sex life was all that he talked about and again, he continually rubbed my nose in his promiscuous lifestyle. He didn't care whether I didn't want to hear about it or not and that was another reason as he boasted and bragged about his sex life constantly. All of these things led me to have the issues that I have right now and I would love to get them resolved. I would love to overcome the scared feelings that I have and I am hoping to meet someone or some people to help me. I am hoping to meet someone or some people soon that would love to help a guy like me. Hopefully, I will meet someone through this site and we can get to know each other and set a time to meet and get to know each other and after that, to let the fun begin. I am serious about wanting to have some real love and fun and I hope to have that one day. I am just tired about being in the rut that I am in and want to get out of this rut somehow. I want to feel like a man and feel like a whole person. Yes, I do.

Will write more when I can. Thanks for reading and take care y'all.

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