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A Problem I've Struggled With All Of My Life
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A Problem I've Struggled With All Of My Life This was posted in an EX-JW (Jehovah's Witnesses) Facebook group that I'm a member of: How many times will you say yes when you wish you could say no, How many times will you be somewhere that you didn't want to go. How many times have you done what you didn't really want to do, How many times did you pretend to be someone else other than you. How many times did you stay quiet when you wanted to scream, How many times did you wish that it was all just a bad dream. How many times were you afraid you might do something wrong, How many times have you felt weak when you wanted to be strong. How many times have you thought about how you could try to get away, How many times will you be mistreated before you decide you cant stay. How many more times will you take their shit before you decide to fight, All it takes is just one more time for you to decide to do what's right. Get out now, leave it all behind and don't look back once you're free, They cant control you anymore so you can become whoever you choose to be. My initial response: "Let me add this one; "How many times have you said NO when you wish you could've said YES" This has been an issue with me throughout my life" The person's reply: "just realized that even when you reverse that line has the same feeling and same meaning and now I just realized I'm going to write that exact same thing opposite" My response to his reply: As I've said, this has been an issue with me throughout my life. I still struggle with this. There were times that I wanted to say "YES" to certain things, but always said "NO". The JW's that I was studying with at the time taught me to say "NO" in regards to anything sexual out of wedlock and to also say "NO" to oral sex. I did all of that, but really didn't want to. They taught me that saying "NO" to these things was doing the right thing, but somehow, deep down, I felt that I was doing something wrong. I wound up hurting others' feelings by my constantly saying "NO" when I really wanted to say "YES". I missed on too many good times with my real worldly friends as a result of the foolishness that the JW's taught me through their man-made doctrines and rubbish. I was simply a young man who was still very naive and very vulnerable and they knew in that state, they could feed me anything and I would accept and believe it without question and accept all of what they taught as "THE Truth". I<b> wasted </font></b>my entire youth and young adulthood listening to these terrible hypocrites and accepting everything and swallowed it all hook, line and sinker. I wish that I could go back in time and stop myself from making that terrible mistake. I missed out on too many good times and passed on too many possibly good relationships with ladies due to my JW involvement as the young ladies wren't JW's and those in the borg taught me not to have anything to do with them because of that. I'm still living with that to this day. I'm also still not fully healed from all the negative effects of that terrible religion that I suffered, but hope to one day when I find the right group of people to help me along. Thanks though for sharing. What does this have to do with sex and meeting soul mates? A lot. As I've shared before, I have said NO to many offers for sex and also, missed out on too many relationships as a result of this. I now found out that the problem is "Impulsivity" as I was always impulsively saying NO when it came to these good things. The thing is that saying NO became the easiest thing to say rather than YES. My impulsivity cost me too many relationship opportunities and possibly great sex with other ladies. My JW involvement was what caused me to say NO when I really didn't want to. It was only when I realized later on that I was doing this to please men who were leading rather than God or anything having to do with God. At times, I wish that I could turn back the clock and stop myself from getting involved with them and to also stop saying NO out of impulse and start saying YES, although I know I can never do that. It makes me sad and full of regret as a result. I'm 49 years old and hoping that one day, I can meet someone where I can be helped to overcome all of my fears and inhibitions so I can get the most out of life. I'll be renewing my Gold membership soon. When I do, I can start contacting others. Please be patient. Thanks. |
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