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What shall I do with myself? Oh I know I’ll Blog you to tears!
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What shall I do with myself? Oh I know I’ll Blog you to tears! What shall I do with myself? Oh I know I’ll Blog you to tears! I am stepping out of my doldrums of self-pity and depression and brushing myself off. I’m still sore. For some reason anytime I have surgery with general anesthesia I always feel like I’ve been run over with a steam roller. All of my muscles and joints ache and I feel sore all over like you get when you have the flu or work out too much. I plan to start my exercise routine again in the next day or two. If I’m going to be sore it might as well be my own doing and because I’m working out. I’ve been doing laundry and finally got my ass out of the house today. I’ve been meaning to go out to visit my horses for a few weeks. The torrential rains we’ve had off and on coupled with the medical shit have kept me at home instead. Today I finally went out. I had planned on riding until I saw that Sadie was limping. Now I feel like a terrible mommy because my older mare is limping badly on her right back leg and I have no idea how long she’s been hurting. There’s nothing external to be causing it so all I can do is keep an eye on her to see if anything shows up. She’s had abscesses in her hooves before and this could be the beginning of one. They take a while to show up. Now I’ll have to make sure I go out every few days to check on her and see how the limp is progressing. I also called the farrier to see how soon he can get out to trim their hooves. Roanie’s are really badly over grown and if Sadie has an abscess he may be able to relieve some of the pressure while it surfaces. I have a week and 3 days of time to kill before I plan on heading back up to see my Viking. Of course we’d both have liked it if I could have been there this weekend but I honestly don’t think I was physically or mentally up to making the drive there and back. I needed some hibernation time. I’m much better and ready to move on but I’m not “all better”. I burst into tears today when I opened the mail to find the invitation to my step--in-law and good friends baby shower. Don’t get me wrong I’m thrilled for her but I couldn’t help thinking that our babies would have only been 4 months apart. Our older are only 9 months apart and they are more like sisters than aunt and niece. We were looking forward to having another link between our families. The day of my D&C my favorite aunt and I were talking and I found out that the family babysitter is pregnant. She’s not even 17 yet and it appears she got pregnant on purpose. I won’t even go into all the terrible thoughts that ran through my head after hearing that. We all thought she was more mature than she obviously is. Our new pet sitter is off in Fla. getting a rescue of her own and of course I volunteered to help her with the training that I can do. She should be home tomorrow and I plan to go out to meet her newest addition a day or 2 after she gets back home and settled. She offered to drive me to the D&C and to come feed and let the dogs out for me when I got home. I didn’t need her too but it was really nice of her to offer. She is a really sweet girl and I’m sure we’re going to be good friends. Well honestly I’m a bit concerned that she will find me too brutally honest and too much of a cynic because she much younger than I am, seems idealistic and strikes me as ultra-caring and sweet so I’ll see how it goes. I have no doubts that she will take great care of the animals for us. I can’t have sex yet so I’m trying not to focus on that fact too much. That would normally be how I would spend my abundance of free time. Naked pictures and lots of masturbation but alas I can’t so I’m not taking pictures either. I’ll get the Viking to take some when I go up to visit. That will be the earliest I’m “allowed” to have sex. Yeah I didn’t pick that date arbitrarily! It’s also just a few days before Lulu’s Corsets & Kilts party. I’m super excited to get to go again this year. My emerald green corset came in the mail yesterday and it’s gorgeous. There should be plenty of photo ops to provide HNW pictures for many moons to come. I will match the Viking’s kilt much better this year than I did last year. Not that we didn’t match last year but I’ll be a better kilt ornament this year…lol….Of course I’m not going to be able to play and he hasn’t been in the mood to play without me so I don’t think we’ll be playing at all. I have told him he can play without me but we have so little time left that I’m feeling pretty greedy about our time together. I think he’s been feeling that way too since he keeps telling me he doesn’t want anyone but me right now. Still it’s always fun to watch other people and there’s nothing better than just the 2 of us anyway. I don’t always have to be the center of the orgy…lol… I’m glad my Viking talked me out of canceling the engagement photo shoot we did while he was here. I’m really excited and can’t wait to see the proofs next week. Then the hard part will be deciding which ones we want and how we want them. I know I’m going to get a bunch to send to his older sister to do us a scrapbook. She mentioned it several times when we met and has reminded me twice about it so I’ll have to find out what sizes she needs for that. Then I know we will want some but not really sure what or how to display them. I have to keep in mind that we will have wedding pictures soon too. I really love pictures so I’m going to need my Viking to keep me from buying them all…lol… I’ve been working on timelines over the last couple of days. I’m an obsessive list maker and there are so many things going on in the next couple of months that my lists were getting too long to manage. We are trying to plan for me to make 2 trips up to see him in March, without getting pregnant right away because we are supposed to wait one month. Then at the beginning of April we are getting married. If my schedule is basically the same as before I’ll be ovulating right about that time so we are trying to make sure we’re together in April and May so we can try for another baby before he’s off working for a year. I’m a bit terrified about losing another baby and having to go through this again without him but that’s just the chance we have to take. Hopefully, the next pregnancy will end in a healthy baby Viking or 2. I have all the lists for the things I need to get done before the wedding; things that have to be done right at the time of the wedding; things to get done after the wedding but before the Viking has to leave; things to get done for his last week home and his birthday and then before he heads overseas for work. Then there’s a whole other list of things I need to do before I can follow him over for our last few weeks together in Europe. I can’t believe all the stuff that has to get done in order for us to get married even with the bare bones ceremony that we are having. I’m really glad we canceled the party we were going to have a few weeks later. I really wanted to have a celebration with my family and have a send- off for my Viking but I could not have dealt with organizing that on top of dealing with the miscarriage and planning the wedding. Since I canceled the party I decided I wanted a few things at the wedding that I wasn’t going to originally do. It’s going to be a very non-traditional wedding. We looked at rings online when he was here last time. He hasn’t told me whether I get to see what he finally decides on before the wedding or not yet. I still have to go get my finger sized, I keep forgetting. All I know for sure is that it will be white gold, mostly purple stones and not have round stones. I’m very excited about seeing what he comes up with. My favorite cousin’s wife is hand making our invitations and they are almost done. I’m supposed to go see some she’s finished tomorrow. I’m wearing a purple and black mermaid style gown. The alterations will be done March 15th. Lil Bit will be our only wedding attendant and she is wearing a short black party dress. I’ve found a few necklace and ear ring sets online that will match our dresses and flowers. We are getting married on top of Pine Mountain at a scenic look-out point. There won’t be any decorations or chairs. People who decide to come will just have to stand and watch. Our vows are not traditional, although I decided not to write them myself. I’m a bit too long winded for that…lol…I decided I wanted to have flowers for Lil Bit & I to carry. I’m going to do lavender roses and dark purple mini-calla lilies or lavender roses with purple daisies. Finding the mini-calla lilies locally is proving difficult but I have a few more florists that are supposed to call me back. I have found a great online vendor for them both but then I will have to put the bouquets together myself. That’s not a problem as far as me having the skills to arrange and wrap them. We even have the extra beer fridge to store them in until the wedding. The problem is the time to do it along with getting the Viking from the airport, getting our marriage license on the way home from the airport, etc. The other thing I decided I wanted to do was a live butterfly release. The companies ship the live butterflies to you overnight in cooled containers so they stay dormant until you warm them up. They come in either a decorative box for a mass release or individual triangles personalized with our names and wedding date. I’m going to do half the butterflies individually to hand out to guests and the other half in a mass box. We’ll release the mass box and the guests can release their individual butterflies at the end of the ceremony instead of throwing rice or bird seed and have the personalized paper holder as keepsakes. We aren’t having a reception but we are going to a local steakhouse with any guests that want to afterwards for cake and drinks. The cake isn’t traditional either. It will be yellow cake with raspberry filling inside dark purple fondant squares with light purple butterfly designs and our initials on top. We’re having the cake in the bar so we will have the dance floor, karaoke and jukebox. We aren’t getting or giving wedding gifts. Our honeymoon will be right here at home with all our pooches. He has to go back up north for a couple of weeks then he’ll be home for about a week, which includes his birthday before he ships out. I’ll go over a week or 2 after he gets there and gets settled. The trip to Europe in May will be my honeymoon while he works. My poor Viking is getting the short end of the stick in a lot of ways. Can you tell I’m a bit excited about marrying my Viking? LMAO…yes I am. We agreed we didn’t want anything huge and that hasn’t changed but I do want to have great photos and memories to share with our little Viking/s someday. It’s important to me that our know how much we love each other now and forever. Well now that I’ve thoroughly bored you all to tears with wedding details, I guess I will try to get some sleep tonight. I hope you are all having a great weekend. Take care and love each other well! Kisses, LeeAnn Kisses, LA    |
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Glad all went well. Kisses
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The butterfly release is such a beautiful idea, and there is so much symbolic meaning to it! I love it! How did you come up with such a wonderful idea my sweet? What type of butterflies will they be?  Thoughts from the Garden...
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I'm glad the surgery went well and you have some things to look forward to now! I feel the same after being put under, not sure what it is but it beats me up.
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Oh honey grrl, thanks for giving me exactly what I needed...a smile! I can see all your descriptions in my mind's eye...it is all coming together so well I remember the gen-an stupor, hopefully it has given up it's hold on you. Huggers! Ur.Grrl.CC 
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Yep I can defiantly tell that your excited about the wedding. I hope it's everything you want it to be and more. General anesthesia can do that to some people. If affects everyone different. Some have no problems, some get sick when they come out of it, some get sore. Hope the soreness goes away soon. And if it's any consolation even with your "allowed" date. You'll still probably have sex again before I will.
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