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| Blogs > PurplePeach72 > No Ordinary Girl! |
2 Days of Silence in Tribute
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2 Days of Silence in Tribute 2 Day Memorial I’ve been in a bit of a funk for the last week or so. The idea of a day of silence really appealed to me but since I was in mourning for 2 days I decided to maintain silence for both days. In respect for those 2 days I didn’t post any HNW or Titty T-day pics. They will return next week. Everyone knows why 9/11 is a day of memorial but even some of my closest friends don’t know why 9/12 is also a day of mourning and remembrance for me. I wrote about it in passing in this, From Hell I Come To This Part 2 and I know there’s a very early blog about the incident in detail but I didn’t index things back then. I wish there was a search feature for our own blogs. My little brother was born 33 years ago yesterday. Happy Birthday Jonathon! He was actually my half-brother from my mom. He and my sister have the same dad and were barely a year apart in age. They were like twins. He died in a senseless accident at the age of 16 along with an 8 year old friend of the family he was babysitting. My mom & my sister released balloons today. I didn’t participate and I’m sure they didn’t appreciate my lack of enthusiasm. I’m just not big on grave-side visits and memorial type gestures of flowers and balloons. I never have been. Maybe because as a I saw & talked to dead relatives so I know they are around us all the time we just aren’t generally aware of it. I don’t need to stand over their grave to talk to them. I have the same attitude with God. I don’t need to be in a house of worship to have faith and connect to the God I believe in. Today is my favorite cousin’s birthday. He’s more like my little brother than my half-brothers were or are. Unfortunately for him my brother’s death has overshadowed his birthday for most of his adult life. I’ve reconnected with my half-brother on my dad’s side. I’ve only met him for a few weeks when he was 15 the summer before my other brother died. He’s a pretty cool guy and we are planning on trying to get our together before we move. He lives up around Louisville, KY. I also think there is a practical side to that attitude about not over memorializing deaths, birthdays of deceased and other dates as well. I have lost a great number of people in my lifetime. My maternal great-grandfather at the age of 7 or 8 is the first funeral I remember going to. My paternal grandfather at the age of 14. A high school crush/one night stand at 15. My maternal great-grandmother, my little brother and my paternal grandmother at 24. My maternal aunt at 28. My maternal grandmother at 35. Twin red-headed uncles on my mom’s side one at 33 and the other at 38. My maternal grandfather at 39. Those are only the deaths in my immediate family there were several extended family members and close friends scattered in between all the immediate family. If I released balloons or did something special for all of their birthdays, anniversaries or deaths I would constantly be memorializing someone dying. Not my idea of fun. Does anyone else have this kind of experience with death and dying? It seems a bit unusual to some. Ok so that’s plenty depressing on its own then add in that my Viking is over 7000 miles away in a very dangerous environment that is escalating every day. Meanwhile at home people bury their heads in the sand and pretend that the numbers of heroes dying every day isn’t their problem or concern. Yeah I have needed to hibernate and lick my wounds for a while. Oh let’s not forget that I have my period this week. We all know how stable and happy that is likely to make us women. This past week has been accompanied by no less than 3 migraine episodes, bloating, cramping, and a bout with PMS/period induced IBS and debilitating muscle aches. I still managed to do Zumba both days and get Lil Bit to cheer practice and Girl Scouts. I am only sleeping in 3-4 hour increments again until today when I slept for about 6 hours during the day. In other words my insomnia is in full force. Zumba has been a great source of stress relief this week and I’m in the search for a new set of classes. This local 6 week course ends next Thursday and may not start up again if she doesn’t find a building. I’m trying to get someone from class to carpool with me so we can split the gas cost. I canceled all my weekend plans since my period was 3 days late this month which scared the shit out of me despite the impossibility of that nightmare. I knew there was no way I’d be done before the weekend. I’m also in one of my pouty modes. I miss my Viking and want him and I’m pissed and pouting about not getting my way. I am not good company right now. I’ve also joined another social media site with groups geared towards helping me handle the stress of this new lifestyle. They also have a much broader base of bi-sexual women and<b> open relationships </font></b>there although it is harder to make meaningful connections due to the nature of posts and the site set-up. As expected there is a predominance of close minded judgmental people on many of the groups but I steer clear of them. I’m sure I’ll keep searching until I find the support community I need to help me handle the things I can’t talk about here. I started working on my Italian lessons and hope to work my way up to at least a 30 minute lesson a day. Right now I’m forcing myself to do part of a lesson every other day. I need to go spend more time with the horses and I really want to pick up my paint brush again. My Viking had to hand-hold me through an attitude adjustment I needed to make this week about time management and time for self. Nice to have a best friend that sees things so clearly they can make sense of something that seems overwhelming at the time. I’ll have more to write on the attitude adjustment as it has some far reaching consequences as did a few other happenings this week. I hope all of you pervs are having a good week. Take care and love each other well. Kisses, LA    |
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have a nice day. Kisses
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Could we be tied together any more? my week too  freaking cramps...grrrDont hide from me grrl, I am just a short bit away, and you can always come here  Ur.Grrl.CC 
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I don’t need to stand over their grave to talk to them. I have the same attitude with God. I don’t need to be in a house of worship to have faith and connect to the God I believe in. I feel the same way my sweet. They are as close as they need be... they are in our hearts. Thoughts from the Garden...
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