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Secret Loves Club cont’d & Dark Star
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Secret Loves Club cont’d & Dark Star I can’t sleep tonight but it isn’t because I’m upset or worried or hurting. Nope for the first time in a long time I can’t sleep because I’m so damn deliriously happy! My sweet gorgeous Italian Love sent me a message last night to see if we could get together today. I cancelled my cooking class and met him for a coffee in the city center then we headed to a beautiful ristorante and vineyard in the hills overlooking our city. It is grape harvesting time so we not only had a panoramic view of the countryside but got to watch all these gorgeous grapes being loaded. We must have been glowing because an old man on the way into the city center stopped us to tell us that he didn’t care what other old people said about us young people he could tell that love was alive and well in us more than Romeo and Juliet. On our search for a place to eat the first place we stopped was closed as many places are here on Monday but he told us that there was a place with beautiful views that fit our love just a couple of km’s up the road. Italians are so romantic and really love seeing other people in love. My Italian Love was quick to assure me that he was not lovers with the woman who claimed to be his secret love. He went on a few dates with her months ago and has remained friendly but nothing beyond that. He hates being hurtful and didn’t want to have to tell her to fuck off so he’d just tried to gently remind her that he only wanted to be friends. She has made it plain that she wants more and seems to think if she hangs around enough and professes her love to enough people he will love her back. He was visibly upset when I gave him the details of the quizzing and what she said to me. I assured him I was not upset at all in fact I thought it was funny after I got over the initial shock. He offered to tell her to fuck off but I assured him that he didn’t need to do that on my behalf and that it might in fact only make matters worse. He insisted that he would make it plainer to her that he isn’t interested romantically. I think he was worried she might scare me off. No chance of that as long as I knew he wasn’t with her. I told him about my mean streak desire to tell her I was starting the “Secret Loves Club” and my post here. We both got several good laughs out of that one. I took the opportunity to tell him that I wasn’t with him just for sex. I can’t deny how amazing the sex is or how much I enjoy it but I didn’t want him thinking I was another woman using him for sex. He said he didn’t think that but he also thanked me with a look of gratitude in his eyes that was painful to see. He is such a good, sweet loving soul it hurts me to think of him being used and seeing that pain in his eyes. I made sure he knew I didn’t expect him to be exclusive with me. That I couldn’t ask that of him when I’m married and he has to share me. I just wanted to be sure we were on the same page about letting each other know if we added any lovers. He was adamant that he wanted no one else but would be sure to tell me if that changed. No sex today and we were both totally ok with that. It was pure bliss just spending a few hours with him enjoying the gorgeous Italian sunshine, countryside, wine and food. He seemed upset that I was leaving for 6 days and wanted to take me shopping but I told him there was no need for him to buy me anything. He’s always in my heart. He seemed kind of shocked that I really meant it and had no desire to shop. I just wanted to spend the time we had together. He wants to drive us to the airport but it is a long way and I know how busy he is. He knew without me saying a word that I was upset by something. He initially thought it was the crazy Secret Love lady but soon discovered it was a hiccup in the road to recovery for me with the Viking. He held me and just loved me until I felt better. I hope his love is always in my life. He said he hates seeing me unhappy and I told him I have never been happier than I am right now because of his love in my life. I told him there would always be a place in my heart, soul and life for him no matter what happens with the Viking and I. I’m at peace that life will be great no matter what. I trust that God/Goddess/fate/karma has me firmly in her hands and all will be well. Several unrelated events had me feeling the Viking was lying to me about the Mistress. I know he isn’t being completely forthcoming with her about the boundaries he’s telling me he’s setting with her. He promised to send me copies of the relevant important conversations with her regarding the new boundaries and how their relationship had to change until some resolution with her is found but when I asked for the conversation he was referring to he got pissy about it. I’m trying to be patient with him about her but it isn’t easy and I really think he expects way more from me than is reasonable given the way he treated me. He keeps throwing out how understanding and supportive he’s being with my love and I keep replying that one has nothing to do with the other. No one I have brought into our marriage has tried to take his place. They have all been extremely accepting of being secondary to him and had no problems getting along with him other than when he was being a dick to me. We had one of our<b> marathon </font></b>chats/discussions/arguments tonight. Hopefully, it will bear the fruit it promised in the coming months when she brings up coming back out for a visit at the holidays. We shall see. I need to pack and have a busy day tomorrow with therapy, a dental cleaning and Lil Bit’s therapy. Plus my Italian Love is trying to clear his next 2 evenings so he can come spend the night with me. He didn’t realize how soon we were leaving or for how long. I’m so thankful and blessed to have every minute of time with him that I do. His song for me today was “Dark Star” by CSN. I knew the song but had never really listened to the lyrics. It is so fitting for us. He’s also working on a new song he said I inspired but isn’t ready to share yet. I’m going to try to work on translating the lyrics of his other original song. The verses are in Italian but the chorus is in English so the trick will be finding the right words in English to still fit the music. I’m looking forward to it. He says we have to find places we can share music together him playing and me singing. He also asked me to come to a music event to sing with him the day after Christmas. I was so totally flattered and blown away that he was already wanting to plan things at Christmas with me. This man is such a gift and a blessing to me. How amazing life is and can be? May the love I have find its way to all of you. Take care and love each other well. Kisses, L Dark Star by Crosby, Stills & Nash (who I plan to see in concert soon here. Yay) [Intro. (Percussion + Acoustic Guitar)] Forgive me if my fantasies might seem a little shopworn I'm sure you've heard it all before I wonder what's the right form Love songs written for you it's been going down for years But to sing what's in my heart seems more honest than the tears I am curious Don't want to hurry us I'm intrigued with us Ain't this song a bust I don't care dark star I met you several years ago The times they were so strange but I had a feeling You looked into my eyes just once An instant flashing by that we were stealing Another time you felt so bad And I wasn't any help at all as I recall We didn't know quite what to do so we left the wanting be Still there for me and you Dark star I see you in the morning Dark star a' sleeping next to me Dark star let the memory of the evening Be the first thing that you think of When you open up your smile and see me dark star It's easy to be with you Even with the storms that rage beneath your search for peace We must make some time together Take the and find a world that's ours to keep Now you've got me dreaming girl It's been so long that I thought that I'd forgotten how My heart is once again my soul We touched we did you know we did no more teasing now Dark star I see you in the morning Dark star a' sleeping next to me Dark star let the memory of the evening Be the first thing that you think of When you open up your smile and see me dark star [Instrumental (Electric Piano + Acoustic Guitar)] Dark star I see you in the morning Dark star a' sleeping next to me Dark star let the memory of the evening Be the first thing that you think of When you open up your smile and see me dark star Let the memory of the evening Be the first thing that you think of When you open up your smile and see me dark star  Kisses, LA    |
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Love italy. Kisses
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GOOD
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That's so nice that you are having a great time!! Luck guy he is to have you!!!
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9/21/2015 6:06 pm |
Warm Italian sunshine...hearing about it makes me just a tad jealous, living north of the Wall. 
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