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Blogs > demonicsexkitten > Life, or something like it

Life  

demonicsexkitten 49F
5181 posts
4/11/2013 7:54 pm

Last Read:
4/11/2013 9:53 pm
Life

What makes you get out of bed every morning? That ultimate goal or purpose in your life? I suppose many people probably don't have a specific "reason for living".

No: I'm not suicidal. My fear of blood and pain and high doctor bills will trump depression any day. haha. Not to mention my ingrained sense of guilt. Partially my own, partially (according to a friend) due to my Catholic Church beginnings. Though I was only there through 2nd grade, I'm told that was plenty enough time for the instilled guilt to be soul-deep.

I just received some upsetting health news the other day. On top of everything else from the past 6 months... which was (is) getting better, but now I'm just questioning the point.

I need to fall in love with life again.

In the meantime: I will be a sheep. Just get up, go to work... because that is what one does. And go exercise. And eat healthy. Because I've been trying to get those habits into my life the last few years, but now I'm on doctors orders. (Though my doctor has challenged me. Lose 20 pounds in 3 months. I can do it).

demonicsexkitten 49F
10694 posts
4/11/2013 9:53 pm

 Yeah... Probably part of my problem (besides not exercising) is that I'm hit or miss with food. Especially when emotionally upset. I can go all day without eating, which puts the body into starvation mode. Of course then when you eat your body stores the entirety of it.

My younger brother was diagnosed with Type I Diabetes when he was 6, so I grew up knowing how to eat healthy and lean and all that. Just I never really followed those rules after I moved away from home. And the soda habit :\ I grew up on it (step dad worked for 7-up bottling company. Really: I grew up on it). I quit soda Feb. 2nd though, except for a couple "I want to get drunk but don't drink alcohol" days. No real plan or intention... I just forgot to drink the one I had purchased for 3 days. Then decided to wait until withdrawals were too bad to continue... but it never happened. All the times I tried quitting in my life... and it accidentally happened all on it's own. lol.


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