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The Erotic Adventures of James K Polk , Monster Hunter (aka I'm a lot crazier than I remember)
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The Erotic Adventures of James K Polk , Monster Hunter (aka I'm a lot crazier than I remember) I used to write short stories all the time , I'm not sure why I stopped really , probably because I got cable . Anyway , I'm cleaning out some files on my computer and I found an old folder of stuff I started working on . I found one thing titled "The Erotic Adventures of James K Polk , Monster Hunter" . An except ; "People often wonder why , James K Polk (aka Napoleon of the Stump which sounds kind of dirty but isn't) , despite being the best President ever , did not seek a second term . The truth is as bizarre as it is awesome - he felt that he could better serve the country, which he loved so well , by putting his talents into use as a monster hunter . You see in the 1850's America was not the safe happy place it is today - it was plagued by Chupacabra , mothmen , renegade Sasquatches , vampires (and not the sissy Twilight kind) , ghoulies , and all sorts of other nasty beasts . The reason these things aren't still around is due , in large part , to James K Polk (and of course his trust sidekick Martin Van Buren) . Sure he dropped the ball on Slender Man a little bit , but hey , the guy did more than his fair share of monster killing so back off ." Anyway after some "humorous" dialog between our 11th and 8th presidents about a killer clown , its quickly gets "erotic" as they have a threesome with a<b> hermaphrodite </font></b>werewolf - blowing its head off with a silver bullet afterward of course . Now I've always known that I have serious undiagnosed mental problems , but its weird when you're reminded how crazy you really are . The funny thing is , I bet if I finished that story and posted it people would read it - so I guess crazy is very much a sliding scale . I have no clue why I decided to write erotica , even tongue-in-cheek mocking erotica . I really don't get the appeal - not that I'm judging (very much) . Does this kind of thing really get anyone all hot and bothered ? "Dan had Lisa bent over the arm of the couch, thrusting his hard swollen cock in to her excited wet pussy from behind when the maid had walked in. With no reply to her knock, she had let herself into the room and now stood transfixed, watching Lisa moan with pleasure each time his cock thrust inside her. Middle aged and living alone, it had been a long time since anyone had fucked her like that. Watching them brought back memories that made her pussy tingle and juices start flowing. Unconsciously, she started to rub between her legs, her hand inside her skirt. Dan was the first to notice her. Seeing her obvious arousal, he smiled at her as he continued ramming his hard cock into Lisa's pussy. He grabbed Lisa's hair and turned her head so she too could see the maid fingering herself watching them. Pinned over the arm of the couch, there was little she could do. Dan pulled out of Lisa and leant over her, whispering in her ear "You say you love the taste of your pussy, how would you like to taste that one" Aroused by their fucking and excited at the thought of tasting pussy, Lisa straightened up and walked naked over to the maid. She took her hand and led her slowly to the bed. As they stood by the bed, Lisa started undressing her. Dan looked on, his cock still hard and excited at this new turn of events. He watched Lisa strip of the maids dress and then her bra. As she stripped off her clothes she learnt her name was Paula. Slowly, she pulled down Paula's panties, exposing her nice bald wet pussy with a wondrous pink slit between puffy outer lips. Left in just black stockings, Paula laid on the bed, her legs parting wide. Lisa slid onto the bed between Paula's legs. She hesitated for a second, she had never been with a woman before but, as Paula's scent caught in her nostrils, all inhibitions were lost and she bent forward pressing her mouth to her pussy. Lisa's tongue slid slowly up Paula's pussy, parting her lips and searching out her clit. It was hard when she found it and she lapped at it mercilessly. The taste of Paula's pussy intoxicated Lisa and she dipped her tongue into Paula's opening to get more of that sweet wetness. Head pushed back and eyes closed, Paula let out a loud moan, her quivering legs the first signs of impending orgasm. Paula's pussy bulged out against Lisa's mouth as she licked her clit again and again. Paula's legs suddenly jerked hard, she rolled onto her side clamping Lisa's head between her thighs as she came, huge spasms racking her body. By now, Dan was beside himself, his cock throbbing in need of release. With Lisa"s head trapped between Paula's legs he had two choices, Lisa's wet pussy from behind or Paula's gasping mouth. He chose the latter. Kneeling on the bed, he pressed the swollen head of his cock to Paula's lips. She opened them and took him inside her mouth, her fingers curling round his hard shaft. Lisa pulled her face from between Paula's thighs to watch Paula blow her man. Paulas hand jerked his cock furiously as she sucked hard on the head. Dan started moaning and then gasped as his jerking cock shot its load into Paulas mouth. She swallowed hard, trying to get it all but, still some leaked out between her lips and his cock. "Fuck" cried Lisa who had been rubbing herself as she watched Dan cum, and was now cumming herself. The room never got cleaned, but they did make an appointment to see Paula again as soon as she got off work." Honestly it just seems like a joke to me (again not judging) . I guess they do say the brain is the most erogenous part of the human body . 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