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Alright , now back to the handjob thing
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Alright , now back to the handjob thing Now that I've seen the first season of Breaking Bad , I realize the dude at work who talks about getting a handjob from Shania Twain is probably just parroting that DEA dude from the show , but regardless I forge onward .  It just seems a little strange for that to be someone's ultimate fantasy . She attractive obviously , and way out of your average fellow's league sure , but we're talking fantasies here - can't you aim a little higher ? Plus why a handjob ? That's the lowest form of sexual interaction there is (aside from the footjob I guess) . Why not a blowjob ? Why not good old fashioned American penis/vagina intercourse ? Why not the love that dare not speak its name ? Why not anything else ? As you all know I'm not a handjob fan , but even so , is there anyone out there who ranks a handjob as their favorite thing ever ? Honestly , even if I'm dating a hand model , I'm going for the pussy nine times out of them (and you KNOW where I go the tenth time) . My grandpappy was the same way , his motto was always "Lady , pick a pair of lips and go with it ." By the way the 40Deuce Handjob Challenge still stands - any woman (or convincing crossdresser) who gives me a great handjob will receive a Water Pick and a 24 pack of Royal Crown Cola . I assume so far no one has taken the challenge because they know its impossible (except in a movie theater I guess according to something I read from SuperBJ) . Quick impression of me , 40Deuce , getting a handjob ; "Aw yeah , that's nice , oooh baby , yeah , hey , a little softer baby , uh , can't , um , HEY , OW ! What did I ever do to you ? Help , help ! Please god stop whatever you're doing down there ! Jesus , Buddha , Spongebob someone help me !" I know I should be grateful for any woman who's kind enough to even show up , but will beggar's SHOULDN'T be chosers they total are . Now more animal stuff . I thought the Ghost and the Darkness was a great movie because I am firmly on the side of animals in the humans vs. animals war . But it turns out that really the Tsavo lions weren't killing people as nature's vengeance against the scumminess of man , there was a drought going on and they needed blood to drink since there was no water . But thankfully nature does have at least one champion out there working hard to destroy the human race (including Shania Twain) . Gustav The Time: Now The Place: Burundi . One of the least fortunate countries in the least fortunate continent on the face of the planet . The hard-luck people of Burundi have had to deal with the overflow of countless civil wars and at least one genocide , not to mention plenty of civil unrest of their own . And, to top it off , their people are being stalked and systematically slaughtered by the most prolific serial killer of all time . The Story: Gustave was born roughly 66 years ago , somewhere along the Nile River near Burundi . Most of the other crocodiles of Gustave's generation were hunted down by poachers but somehow , Gustave beat the odds (please note, Gustave's distinguishing features are his massive frame and the<b> bullet </font></b>hole in his goddamn face). Crocodiles , like orcs and goldfish , don't ever stop growing ; as long as they get a steady supply of food , they'll get bigger and bigger . A normal Nile Crocodile is about 13 to 14 feet long , but Gustave is believed to be over 20 . He weighs around 2,000-pounds and local authorities claim he has devoured as many as 300 people. How He Killed: Normal crocodiles generally stick to large game , like cape buffalo , zebras and occasionally cartoon pirates named after their disfigurements . It follows that a larger crocodile would stick to even LARGER game , so you'd theoretically have nothing to fear , because that size requirement limits the kind of food he can eat to killer whales and your nightmares . Gustave was different . He didn't like to eat whales or buffalo . He liked to eat humans . More accurately , he likes to kill humans . Witnesses have seen Gustave cut through whole groups of people as large as five or six , but he rarely seems to eat a whole person . Instead, he will take a bite and move on , literally killing a man just to watch him die . Maybe he's actually a vegetarian , or maybe he somehow obtains nutrients through human screaming . It wasn't uncommon for Burundi citizens to stumble across a trail of uneaten corpses left behind by Gustave . How'd He Die ? He didn't . Of fucking course he didn't , because you can't just kill the physical manifestation of hatred . He resurfaced in 2008 , and murder monster experts says he is "healthy and his prize list of victims has grown ." One new addition ? A fisherman that he dragged to the lake and drowned . Didn't eat him , just pulled him out and drowned him and then left because he heard a rumor that someone , somewhere didn't directly fear him . And now he's just alive , out there . A living , breathing , scream-eating dinosaur that is so sick of his own immortality that he passes the time by destroying human life whenever he sees it . "I have spoken with nature and she grows restless . Long has the tolerated the race of man as they hacked and burned and killed with no thought for balance . But her patience grows thin . Long has she endured insults and attacks against her but she can endure them no longer . She weeps for the days when the trees stretched from ocean to ocean and earth to sky . But anger is beginning to burn away her sorrow . I have spoken with nature and I know . The arrogance of the men that assail her is madness . We have failed to protect her but in truth she needs no protection . She is a being above any man . A force above any god . I have spoken with nature and she is growing angry . Mark my words , if man continues along his current path he will not live long enough to destroy himself ." Graffiti outside EPA Headquarters , Washington DC Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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I totally forgot about Shaina Twain.... She's my type. I suppose I'll always be enthralled by Molly Ringwald, though. She's my ideal...  "My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur
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Once a day is stretching it , I really only have one interesting thought a week (on average) the rest is just padding - mostly stuff about Star Wars Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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Yeah , you don't want to not believe in Gustav - he knows Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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Sharks too I wonder how many dudes would be willing to swim across gator waters for a hand job Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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