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40deuce on tour
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40deuce on tour "I wonder if all boobs are soft ." Dean Venture First the important stuff TV/wrestling/dreams . Recently a show on the TV television has bugan called "Total Divas" which is about lady wrestlers in the WWE . It is total trash (as you would expect from a show on E!) but I enjoy it because its a nice mix of behind the scenes wrestling stuff and total bitchshit insanity . Turns out one of these "divas" is dating one of my favorite wrestlers Brian Danielson AKA Daniel Brian (good work WWE re-naming department !) I had a dream the other day that I met this "diva" and convinced her that I was Brian Danielson and then had the sex with her pussy . This scam went on for a while until I ran into another wrestler (Tommy Dreamer) who I happen to know very slightly in real life . So I took him aside and was explaining the scam to him and he said in the worst whispering ever "she actually thinks you're Brian ?!" At that point the gig was up . She confronted me and my response was that she must have wanted to have sex with me because I obviously look nothing like her real boyfriend and she was just playing along with the whole thing . Which I think is a pretty solid case myself .  Pictured above , not me at all . Its weird to think that if I didn't watch this TV show I never would have had that dream . Dreams are dumb . As those of you who read my riveting tale of visiting garage sales in our nation's capital know I am not much of one for traveling . I do it once in a great while for work (when I can't weasel out of it) and once in a word that's greater than great in a while for "fun" (when a lady nags me into it) . However in a few weeks I will be heading to Minnesota for work and then to Arizona for "pleasure" . I sent out a sincere message to one of my fake FriendFinder-x friends in state A about meeting up for non-sexy funtimes and a joke message to one of my fake FriendFinder-x friends in state B about me staying with them while I was in town , eating all their food , drinking all their booze , borrowing money from them and never paying it back , and expecting on-demand blowjobs and hotcakes with real maple syrup . Guess which one of those offers got an enthusiastic "YES !" There are few things that are more awkward than calling someone and explain to them that you were just kidding about wanting to totally take advantage of them . Well actually now that I think about it there are probably LOTS of things that are more awkward than that but still I didn't care for it . I really shouldn't joke about such things in a place where many folks are looking for someone to treat them shoddily . Anyway my point is (and I do have one) I find it odd when people post blogs such as "I'm going to be TOWN X on the weekend of the YTH who wants to hump ?" I can't believe that ever works . Who's criteria for humping is just ; Is this person in the same location as me ? At the same time ? If yes to both GOTO hump protocol The only way I can see someone going for that is if they have literally already humped everyone in TOWN X and now they're just waiting at the citi limits for new people to hump . Some people are like that you know , its less about the humping and more about humping someone you haven't humped before . Trailblazers I think they're called . Also STD sufferers . The other day my gal pal was telling me a story that involved a lady cheating on her husband and after several clunky "the guy she was cheating on her husband with" she asked "what do you call the male version of a mistress ?" I was stumped . I suggested "mastress" but she didn't like that . She didn't like "mattress" either . Anyway , there doesn't appear to be any such term that I could find . I have to imagine there is such a word that is now arcane and hardly anyone knows it . Like catamite . I feel like I already told this story . If so skip ahead . The other day I was in my car and a dude on a<b> motorcycle </font></b>annoyed me with his assholery . I expect that type of behavior from car-Os but if I could literally just tap your vehicle with my bumper and you would be dead I expect a little more restraint of the asshole tendencies . Anyway , I came to a light and<b> motorcycle </font></b>man was right ahead of me . Now it just so happens that I keep a hatchet in my car for unrelated reasons , but I wondered - if I got out of my car and hatcheted this dude in the helmet , knowing the helmet would protect him (mostly) when the police came for me would I still be changed with attempted murder ? If I could somehow prove that I was intentionally going for the head because I knew it was protected via helmet would that make a difference ? In other helmet related news when I was driving to work this morning I saw two riding their bikes to school wearing helmets . I don't think I've ever seen a riding a bike wearing a helmet who wasn't riding with their parents . Good for them . I got hit by cars twice (three times really) when I was a youth on a bike . I don't think a helmet would have made a difference either time . That's probably why my back is screwed up as an adult . Speaking of driving to work I've noticed ladies out running in the wee hours of the morning seem to have a preference for lime green colored running shirts . Speaking of driving a saw a car the other day that had two bumper stickers , a license plate frame , a window sticker and a little banner that all said "I drive like a Cullen" . What the Sam Hill does that mean ? And finally , I read an article that I thought was funny called "the eight natural enemies of big boobs" the other day and I went back to it today to get a funny quote from it , but it seemed super lame this time I read it . I'm getting annoyed with things at a much faster rate it seems . Which doesn't bode well . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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You know, it's not like you have to use work as an excuse to visit Minneapolis. There's all the wonderful attractions like the Renaissance Festival and Mall of America and Big Stone mini-golf. On second thought I can see why it takes a work event to get you here.   
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