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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
Looks here man , I'll give you four cents each for these Nilla wafers
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Looks here man , I'll give you four cents each for these Nilla wafers "Remembering’s dangerous. I find the past such a worrying, anxious place. “The Past Tense,” I suppose you’d call it. Memory’s so treacherous. One moment you’re lost in a carnival of delights, with poignant childhood aromas, the flashing neon of puberty, all that sentimental candy-floss… the next, it leads you somewhere you don’t want to go. Somewhere dark and cold, filled with the<b> damp </font></b>ambiguous shapes of things you’d hoped were forgotten. Memories can be vile, repulsive little brutes. Like I suppose. But can we live without them? Memories are what our reason is based upon. If we can’t face them, we deny reason itself! Although, why not? We aren’t contractually tied down to rationality! There is no sanity clause! So when you find yourself locked onto an unpleasant train of thought, heading for the places in your past where the screaming is unbearable, remember there’s always madness. Madness is the emergency exit… you can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened. You can lock them away… forever.” The Joker (The Killing Joke) First things first , I'm not normally much of an internet video fan (I blame the whole phenomena for the death of comedy) but if there are any fans of the Game of Thrones TV show you would be well advised to check out Medieval Land Fun-Time World . It starts a little slow but it gets quite funny in my opinion . I was in tears , honest . Like anything "popular' AGOT has been parodied thousand of times and most of it sucks balls in a big way , but I give on a scale of 1 to Bill Cosby a rating of Bill Burr . Anyway , lets get to the reason we're all here . I was reminded the other day that human sexuality is weird and superweird . In my youth of course I could be nocked into a triple backflip by the erection fermented from a actual nude lady , but obviously as you get older you get desensitized to such things (sadly) . Particularly when it comes to the adult videos - what with the internet and all you can get pretty jaded pretty fast . Which leads to escalation , which you need to be careful with - tread lightly is all I'm saying internet porners . The point is that I , 40deuce , 36 year old man have seen enough porn that unless I'm "in the mood" it really doesn't do a lot for me unless it something I'm super into . It can be the sexiest sexy sexer double jointed lady with no gag-reflexing getting it on with a plethora of other vat-grown sexmachines but its a definite "meh" for me most of the time . But this is where things get weird . The other day I was watching this[post 3300260] and totally was not "in the mood" (despite the fact that I wasn't wearing pants) but that video instantly got me MEGA hard and upon taking matters into my own hands (ITS A PUN !) I pretty quickly enjoyed a very pleasurable sensation that I am told makes babies somehow . Now why is it that professional fuckstars fucking it up to the fullest extent of the law (and them some) are "meh" but this video (no offense Intenda) of a normal Canadian lady fingering herself gets me all hot and bothered ? There's no music , the lighting isn't great , the production values are terrible (again , no offense) but somehow its way better . But why ? I would say part of it is that I "know" the subject . Not in any real sense , but we've traded some messages - that firmly puts us in "fake internet friends" territory . But that jus raises further questions . Why is seeing someone you know engaging in a fairly mild sex act in the pantheon of sex acts in the dark recess of their own home better than seeing Riley Reid getting quad-blasted in every hole on an 800 foot yacht off the coast of Ibiza while a killer guitar riff shreds your face off ? Its hard to say , but I would wager because one seems "realer" . Pornography is fantasy . Despite the fact that I did see Tara Reid at a hotdog stand once I am not going to meet Riley Reed , let alone blast her in the asshole while the whole world watches . Watching porn is no different from watching Transformers 7 - Is Your Childhood Ruined Yet ? Entertaining yes , but is has no relevance to the real world . I may have wanted to grow up to be Soundwave when I was a kit but you grow out (or have it beaten out) of that and recognize it for what it is . There's about the same chance of be becoming Soundwave as their is me nailing a porn star (one of the non-scurvy ones anyway) . But on the other hand , I totally could have relations with Intenda or someone like her . Which is like seeing a Transformer standing in your backyard . Its reality . Which somehow is better than fantasy ? That doesn't make sense now that I say it . I think I need to re-think this whole concept . Reality > Fantasy ? That doesn't check out at all . Back to the drawering board . Yeah , drawering . In other news I had my "two-down" at work the other day , which sadly is not this .  Instead its a yearly meeting with the big boss , which doesn't even make any sense anymore because since they reorganized the boss is three levels above me now .  In theory you have a "one on one" with your boss every month (I've had 4in 5 years) a quarterly meeting with their boss (had one) and then the "two-down" which I have had every year and is painfully horrible . It would be no matter what , but its made worse because HR gives them a script to follow (which is the same every year) which is pretty much the same script as a job interview . Total Waste of Time They always ask about your strengths and weakness , and for the first time every I thought I actually might have a strength . I know how to regulate . I've observed that 99% of people fly off the handle over pretty much anything , amusingly enough often when they ask you to affirm their opinion . For example back in my day when I was involved in creative writing programs this would happen all the damn time . Joey Whispers - Hey 40 , I don't think this is very good , can you take a look at it and give me your opinion ? 40Deuce (after reading) - Yeah , this isn't very good , the second act very weak and the ending needs works , etc. Joey Whispers - Who the fuck asked you you mother fuckin fucking asshole mother fucker ? If you ever speak to me again you fuck I will fucking cram a mummified fucking mummy cock so far up your fucking asshole it will fucking poke your fucking eye outmother fucker ! And then I will stick my cock in your fucking mother fucking eyehole and fuck you to death ! Then I will kill your entire fucking family mother fucker ! How about that ? But that's not me . I can remain calm in the face of TINY problems that people face all the time and somehow lose their shit over . That is my strength . My therapist used to ask me all the time to say three things I like about myself . I never had any which never bothered me , but sometimes I ask my girlies that and they never have anything they like about themselves either . That troubles me . Hating myself is one thing , but knowing the lady I'm with doesn't like herself either is another . Hypocrisy at its finest . I'm pretty good at that too but its probably not a "strength" . And finally , one of my other fake blogfriends said the other day they would never post a video of themselves having sex because they had body issues (paraphrasing) and I thought I should post such a video just to show her that if that's really the only thing stopping her she should get over it - we're all god's , who cares ? I'm a paunchy ape-man so if I can do it anyone can right ? This would fail of course because A) that's not how people work , me posting that video would be about as effect as me throwing her a picture of oxygen if she was drowning and B ) I'm guessing that's not the only thing stopping her from posting such a video . Not wanting to is probably a bigger sticking point . Anyway , while I was planning said video it occurred to me that adding commentary would make it a 1001 times better . Me and my gal pal awkwardly pawing at each other for 17 minutes ? Boring . But add in us giving some hilarious commentary on the action ? Tolerable . Bordering on watchable maybe . 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Yes, it's the "real person" factor. I think it also accounts for the popularity of web cams on this site. I could never fathom why I could get 400 viewers when all I was doing was talking and playing music whilst wearing a bra or a negligee. Well, men are ever hopeful that they'll get to see more, I guess. I think MST 3K style porn would be a huge hit - I can't believe this hasn't been done already.   
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