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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
Now that she's married my masseuse never smashes her boobs into my face anymore
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Now that she's married my masseuse never smashes her boobs into my face anymore “Everyone roots for the little guy , but nobody bets on him .” I have to admit , I kind of miss it . Not that I’m a big boobs in the face kind of guy , but there’s something to be said about that kind of exceptional service . After said message when I got up to undisrobe I caught a glimpse of myself in a full length mirror and I looked not horrible for once . It’s interesting what lighting can do . I watched a documentary about the so-called hacktivists some call Anonymous , which was pretty interesting but whenever I hear about their shenanigans I think to myself maybe some of them are trying to affect some kind of civil disobedience free speech kind of thing but really I feel like most of them are just jerks . They know more about computers than you and they need everyone to know that by making you look foolish . They’re just bullies really it seems to me . The other main thing I took away from it is that I really don’t care if the government is spying on me . Maybe I’m alone in this , but who gives a shit really ? I mean my job monitors everything I say and do there , google monitors everything I do online , what does it matter if the government knows that brand of toothpaste I buy ? Yeah , yeah , tyranny and all that , but really who has the energy to get upset about these things ? Speaking of which , I was talking to one of my conspiracy nut gun nut friends the other day and I always just want to say to him “the government is already in control , that’s what they do , that’s their job – they already won buddy , maybe just take it down a notch .” Anyway , I’ve already forgotten what I intended to blog about . Something about<b> butts </font></b>maybe ? Seems likely . I was in a meeting the other day and when everyone was fighting like starving ratbabies over the doughnuts I notice all the wedding rings and I wonder why is the wedding ring worn on whichever hand it’s supposed to be worn on (left it turns out) . I presumed is had something to do with our stupid screwhead ancestors believing something dumb , and I was right – you can rarely go wrong with that assumption . Our dum-dum ancestors believed that a vein ran directly from the third finger on the left hand to the heart , which seems like a weird thing to just spontaneously come up with , but also I have to say I’m impressed they even knew about veins rather than presuming blood was moved through their bodies by toads or eels or some shit . I’ve been told that the wedding ring tradition comes from ancient Egypt (and I mean real ancient) which makes me wonder how it became so widespread . Women like rings I guess .  I did an image search of "wedding ring" and this is one of the first things that came up . You win again internet . Which makes me wonder , on a nude beach can you get busted for lewd and lascivious behavior ? And if so are the police who arrest you also nude ? I hope so . I mean I know its a nude beach , but you can't just start humping right there in front of everyone can you ? Can you ?! Speaking of bullies (to jump back several topics) I watched yet another documentary about bullying (for some reason)and a dude said what you hear a lot of people say in these things , that if you’re bullied and “make it through” you’ll be a better person for it , which is irritating to me . Isn’t that borderline a pro-bullying argument ? I have a big problem with the whole “adversity makes you stronger” theorem . How can people tacitly imply that having horrible things happen is sometimes good ? On the other hand Chris Rock has a pretty funny bit about how we need bullying to produce the kind of people who “cure diseases and invent computers and shit” so obviously there’s good points on both sides . One of my standard bits (that no one finds funny) is that when one of my lady co-workers is complaining about their husband being a stupid worthless piece of garbage (which why did you marry him then lady ? sounds like you brought it on yourself) I said to them “You know what you should do ? You should divorce him .” Which for some reason makes them get all upset . Recently I’ve evolved this bit . Here’s how it goes now . Lady co-workers – I don’t like living anywhere more than 4-7 months and we’ve been in Des Moines for almost a year now ! I want to move to West Virginia for no reason but my husband says no . What a douchebag moron mother fucker right ? 40Deuce - You know what you should do ? You should divorce him . Lady co-workers (scowling and yowling) – That’s a terrible thing to say , I would never do that . 40Deuce – Alright , just divorce him a little bit then , show him you mean business . They don’t think that’s funny either , but I do . And in the final analysis isn’t that what matters ? No . Also this whole bit is just a callback to my old “well kill him then , okay just kill him a little bit” routine . Now that’s a classic . Speaking of work , I was heard to remark the other day “My sincerest apologies .” Which is an interesting phrase now that I think about it , because you’re not necessarily saying you’re being sincere at all – just that this is as sincere as you’re going to get . That’s probably why I like it so much . This is probably one of my worst posts ever . But on the plus side I did buy some new pillows today . Which is nice . 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My most insincere apologies about your masseuse's selfishness. Can you be sincere, sincerer and sincerest? I've said the word sincere too many times, it no longer makes sense.
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What is the point in being on a nude beach with a hot woman unless you get at least a handjob? It's not a question of whether it's legal or not - it should be obligatory!
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