Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
Australian Kissing - its just like French Kissing only down under
Australian Kissing - its just like French Kissing only down under “People don’t get divorced because they fall out of love , they get divorced because someone puts a fork in the spoon slot in the silverware drawer after having been repeatedly warned .” An article shot at my face the other day on the internet talking about how the Danish Government (which I assume is monarchy headed up by Queen Caroline Wozniacki and king whatever that dude’s name is that played Aragorn) had started a new campaign “Do it for Denmark” to try and get Danish people to hump . At first I was excited because no one is more in favor of Danish humping than me (except the Danish government apparently) but then I read the rest of the article (always a mistake) and found out the reason they wanted their sexy , sexy Danes to get busy was to create more Danes . I guess they’ve been having negative population growth for a while now . I hate that term – why can’t they just say population whatever the antonym of growth is ? Shrinkage I guess . Population shrinkage . Anyway the government wants everyone (except gay couples of course) get to some skin on skin fuzzy bumping and makes tons of babies . I have mixed feelings about this . I’m against more people . But I’m pro more Danes . So really what they need is a campaign that makes Danes get shaggy and to secretly sneak into the homes of dudes in every other country and vasectomy them while they’re sleeping . Although I hear without doing the follow-up stuff vasectomies aren’t all that effective so maybe just rip off the dick altogether for non-Danes . Seems a little harsh but it’s the best idea I have . Remember that contest Subway had where one in three customers got their dick ripped off ? What was that about ? I saw a blog poll only moments ago . Which do you like more “girls with big titties or girls with deep pussies ?” It kind of made me want to give up on life . But I have to wonder , is it that poll alone or the fact that I saw that poll after being subjected to a 4 hour leadership conference at work ? I’ve never been so bored/furious in my entire life . The people that pretend to like those things are human garbage and should be burned to death . I wonder how much the company paid to have some pear shaped fart machine read powerpoint slides to us ? I’m guessing somewhere around 35 grand . Meanwhile you need management permission to use the printer because we can’t afford paper . And big titties of course . What good does a deep vag do me ? I an’t got no twenty-five centimeter penis . Not that’s part of me anyway . One time I watched the remake of Total Recall . It was okay . I may have blogged about it . What just occurred to me the other day though is I don’t recall seeing the three breasted . I remember when they started making that people all people talked about was old three boobs – which really , what else is there to care about in Total Recall ? The short story it was based on , I think it was called ‘we can remember that for you wholesale’ was pretty good but neither movie was much like it . Anyway , all anyone talked about was the model they were gluing a third boob onto for that movie and then I don’t think she was even in it . Maybe that’s the director’s cut . Honestly I missed the black dude who was the cab driver more . The fact that my gal pal likes to take it in the ass is really starting to annoy me . I mean I want to say stuff to her such as “you’re taking it in the ass on your property taxes” but since she likes it in the ass it doesn’t really work you know ? I can’t come up with a comparable expression that conveys the nature of unwanted anal intercourse . Once again the human language has failed me . Speaking of my gal pal she told me the other day that while she’s not into fisting (thank god) that I would have good hands for it . I’ve always known I have tiny girl hands , but I guess they’re also very delicate and smooth . She was saying sometimes dudes have really rough knuckles and it feels not so nice with just a finger or two . So I got good fisting hands . Which is something I guess . Also I get super paranoid sometimes when I put my fingers in a lady that I have a rough nail or something . I need to get one of them emery boards . I think that’s what they’re called . In other news a few weeks ago I started laying the groundwork for another “bit” at work . I’ve been adding the name Anthony Burrwood to some of the meetings I set up and every now and then I ask someone “Have you seen Burrwood ? He was supposed to help with me with the TPS reports” or some such . The first little seedlings are starting to come up because today I overheard this conversation ; “Who’s this Anthony Burrwood guy ?” “Oh , I think he’s the new guy in default accounts .” Soon I will be able to start blaming random stuff on Burrwood and talking about what a slackass that dude is . I’ll grant you this is the same thing I did with Pepe Silvia a few years ago , but I’m laying a lot more groundwork this time . Plus 97% of those people are gone now because no one with half a brain stays in the department I work in for more than a year and a half or so . So I should be good either way . I can’t wait until I threaten to punch Burrwood in the back of the head for forgetting to pick me up in the car pool . Well actually I can , but you know what I mean . So to sum up , Australian Kiss , Denmark , Total Recall , blog complete . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
||||
|
Perhaps this will work for your gal pal ... "You're getting fucked in the ear on your taxes" (best I could do on short notice) Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
| |||
|
Oh! and I'm all in favor of Australian kisses. That's all for now. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
| |||
|
I love your reason for not liking anal sex - it makes all the sense in the world.
|
Become a member to create a blog