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This blog is full of spiders (seriously don't read it)
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This blog is full of spiders (seriously don't read it) I have some "important" meetings coming up over the next few weeks and I'm thinking about getting a new suit . And by new I mean the last suit I had I got in high school .  Normally chinos and a polo shirt is about dressed up as I get . I remember going to see a show with my nieces one time and getting the "Are you going to change first?" question from an 8 year old . Ouch . Also insert some kind of cutting remark about how superficial are these days . But I hear the clothes make the man (they don't) so maybe I should dress like a grown up for once . Don't get wrong I'll look terrible regardless but a weird ugly blob in a suit is better than a normal weird ugly blob right ? However there are several problems with this plan . One I hate shopping . Two I suck a shopping . No matter how careful I am (not very usually) somehow I often end up with the wrong thing . Its a good thing I'm not married because I understand 99% of spousal penis cutting offings are because the dude didn't get the right brand of tomato paste . Three I don't even have a good idea where to buy a suit . Four I'm cheap and I'm given to understand that "folding like a cheap suit" is not the superlative I thought it was . Five , ugh , just ugh . Its been said (by Ghandi I think) that every girl's crazy about a sharp dressed man . Which I could see . I have to assume you get sick of cargo shorts , no shirt , backward ballcap and wallet chain sometimes . I think the world would be a slightly better place if men were a little more like the ladies about being conscientious of how they present themselves . That probably seems like a weird thing to say , but I feel like people tend to be a little less dickish when they dress up a bit . Speaking of (but not at all) did you know that most places in America have anti-masking laws ?  Its illegal is a lot of states to wear a mask in public . I haven't read much about it but I have to assume there's some kind of exception for balaclavas (and ninja masks IF you're a licensed ninja) and in any case I doubt this is something that's enforce generally . I guess it was started to get the KKK and they sometimes use it to get protestors who wear their Guy Fawkes masks . Speaking of if you've never watched the Drunk History of how the Superman radio show took down the KKK you should . Watch it I mean .  In other news one of the annoying ladies at work today blew up at one of the other annoying ladies at work today because she says "shake your moneymaker" 13-27 times a day . That's not WHY annoying lady #1 was mad at her , but you know she's a woman so she automatically complained about something other than what was bothering her (zing ! ) . Its been apparent to me for some time that annoying lady #2 actually has no idea what "moneymaker" means and today that suspicion was confirmed when she was venting to me about how AL#1 went off on her for "no reason" . "She said it wasn't appropriate and she was going to report me to HR" she vented . "How does that even make sense ?!" "Well" I remarked smarmily "you do know what moneymaker means ass right ?" "No" she gasped in horror "why would it mean that ? How does that even make sense ?" I had a powerful urge to say "Well , how do women make money ? Either by literally shaking their ass as part of a routine in a strip club , where they also do some hooking on the side . Or by figuratively shaking their ass to attract a man who has money and will take care of them ." But what was a little misogynistic even for me to say in jest . I'm realizing now that this story has no point other than to make mock of my coworkers ignorance . Which I do way too much , no one wants to hear it , but would I have a blog without it ? I wonder  As long as I'm at it , there's a dude I work with who uses "There's nothing wrong with that" as generic filler phrase when he has nothing else to say . The other day a lady was telling him about how her got in all this trouble at school and might get expelled and he totally let fly with ; "There's nothing wrong with that ." I've said it before and I'll say it again now - I'm not sure people know what words mean . And one final mock making of my coworkers . I mentioned how an article that came out recently talking about how tanning is really , really , really bad for you was silly because everyone knows that at this point . That's like publishing something saying that smoking is bad for you - people don't do it because they don't know its horrible for your body , they do it because they don't care . Of course after I said this several women said "Tanning is bad for you ?"  But on the other hand , hey , fuck it right ? Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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A new suit WITH a lucha libre mask? The thought of you wearing that has me sooo hot! (or maybe it's just menopause) Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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Like unnecessary ads - for toilet paper, pads/tampons - i mean... you'd hope that by now, everyone has toilet paper in their homes and all women know about pads/tampons....  --Author Unknown
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