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Assplay cures hiccups (this is not an admission of guilt)
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Assplay cures hiccups (this is not an admission of guilt) "Hulk does not want to fight with puny humans all the time . Hulk only wants a friend . But where Hulk goes , Hulk finds no friends . No one ever stays with Hulk . No one ." Did you know that Samuel Jackson came up with the Campbell's tagline "Mmm , mmm good" ? Weird but true . Francis Fesmire of the University of Tennessee College of Medicine a specialist in emergency medicine and cardiology , published "Termination of intractable hiccups with digital rectal massage" in Annals of Emergency Medicine vol 17, p 872 . Runaway electrical impulses in the vagus nerve cause intractable hiccups , so Fesmire attempted to block them by stimulating the nerve . Then he remembered reading about a case in which digital rectal massage - inserting a finger into a patient's anus - had slowed a racing heartbeat , an effect similar to runaway hiccups . "It worked , and the rest is history" he says . However , Fesmire will not be trying it again . He told New Scientist that he found a treatment sure to be more popular with hiccup patients . "An orgasm results in incredible stimulation of the vagus nerve . From now on , I will be recommending sex - culminating with orgasm - as the cure-all for intractable hiccups . So I guess that chick who had the hiccups for 17 years and then murdered someone never had an orgasm ? She was probably faking . If only she had let someone finger her asshole all her problems would have been solved . But really , are there any problems that can't be solved by a finger in the asshole . Yes . Yes there are . But that's no reason not to do it right ?  In other news I'm probably going down , and not in the good way . A kind of weird thing happened at work this week . I was walking down to a meeting and I saw a dude grabbing one of my co-workers and being aggressive and freaky . I tried (well I did I guess) to interject myself between them and completely (mostly) unintentionally the dude got shoved in the general direction of the stairs and took a bit of a tumble . An ambulance came and took the dude away and everything - although my personal belief is that he was fine and was just seeing $$$ and is planning on suing the place I work for and perhaps me personally just for good measure . The story is that this dude has a stepbrother who is mentally challenged and my coworker also works at the facility where the stepbrother lives . And the whole reason for this confrontation is that the dude didn't want her to help his stepbrother brush his teeth because toothpaste is "full of toxins" and will kill him . So I have to assume this dude also has mental issues . This is possible the dumbest thing ever in the history of the world and if he sues me it could very well ruin my life . So there's that . Also , it takes me 15 minutes to get into the building ever day because there's security doors every 3 feet that required different badges - and this is the third time a dude has just wandered in off the street in the time I've been there . And its probably happened a lot more , those are just the ones I know about . Also also there were tons of other people around who were just walking past . Seriously people , what the fuck ? It reminded me 100% of being in school and a would be getting wailed on by some asshole in the hallways and he'd desperately be looking around for someone , anyone , to do anything about and all the other just go about their business . Also according to an episode of SUV that's also what happens in NY on the subway when someone gets graped . And I'm pretty sure that show is 100% accurate reflection of daily life . Now in retrospect perhaps I shouldn't have gone straight to shoving , maybe I should have used my words first , but that's not my instinct - my brain tells me words are useless . If you see something going down my brain gives me two choices - either stay quiet and do nothing or stay quiet and start throwing elbows . Obviously the best choice would have been to summon security - surely the 90 year old lady with a flashlight would have taken command of the situation . I'm hoping he just sues the company , but I assume that won't look good for me either . Oh well , I need a new job anyway . And hopefully the fact that he was trespassing means he won't get jack , but juries are dumb as hell . And every hates the company I work for so I could see this going badly . Stupid guy with his stupid retarded stepbrother messing up my life . Ah well  In other other news my air conditioner won't stop running . I disconnected the thermostat and it still kept running so it must be the unit itself . Surely that will be cheap to fix right ? Right ? On the plus side I was sure that setting off that bombs with do nothing and I'd still have ants all over the place but I've seen nary an ant this week . Nary . I feel like there was a bunch more stuff I wanted to blog about but if I can't remember it how good could it have been ? Something about Star Wars probably . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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No ants? If you want to make sure they're really gone, you should drop some cum on the floor, right? I'm proud of you for sticking up for that beleaguered woman. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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Well, now I know what to try the next time I have an episode of atrial fibrillation  Sorry about the donnybrook at work. Hopefully your coworker (the one you rescued) will put in a good word for you?   
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