Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
That's not MY culture , that's not MY tradition
|
That's not MY culture , that's not MY tradition "Why would they make a sequel to a documentary about bulimia ?" - 40deuce , pretending to misunderstand what the movie "The Purge" is about That's right , I'm quoting MYSELF bitches ! The thought crossed my mind today that I should post a post that's just all the quotes I've included in my posts because that would be the worst blog post ever . Because including quotes is the lazy way to blog . Which is why I do it . The good news is my new kimono arrived today - I'm wearing it right now since SOMEONE made me feel self-conscious about being nude all the time . Its hard to find a kimono in fatty sizes , which based on an SNL sketch makes sense because Japanese people are 3 inches high . But on the other hand what about shikona ? Don't they wear kimonos ? Why wouldn't they ?  Now lets talk about what FriendFinder-x blogs are for - the death penalty . I'm reading a book that is so called historical fiction (if it can so be called) wherein a sheriff in a place called Nottingham is hunting down a serial killer who archers people to death using techniques and equipment that probably won't exist for another 600 years - spoiler alert I think the name of the killer is going to be Robin . Anyway , one thing that's mentioned is that if someone if convicted of murder they can't be put to death , but if they confess to murder they can . I'm confident this is not historically accurate at all , but I find it highly intriguing as someone who has mixed feelings about capital punishment . IF you're going to have the death penalty this seems like a good idea - as we all know a jury is basically just flipping a coin . Executing someone based on that seems like not the best idea . But if someone admits to being a murderer and they fit the statute for the death penalty maybe then its okay ? Of course then you get into coerced confessions and all that . Anyway , I thought it was an interesting idea . I was going to say some stuff about Kim K and her naked ass on the cover of Paper magazine (whatever the hell that is) but it looks like about 7,000 people have beaten me to it . So I won't . I won't even post a picture because you all know . I watched the end of Carrie (the only good part) last night and while obviously I remember the pig blood being dumped on ol Care what I had forgotten was the bucket fell down and ke-bonked the dude with her . That was pretty amusing I have to admit . I wonder what I would think people are going to do to me if I hadn't seen that movie . You see any time anyone invites me to do anything I assume its a trick and I'm going to get the bucket of pigs blood . I bet if I hadn't seen Carrie I'd probably just assume they were going to kick me in the dick . I'd say I'd probably rather get kicked in the dick than have blood thrown on me because that would ruin your clothes and I don't have a lot of clothes - I did an inventory this morning and I have 2 shirts and 1 pair of pants (and now one kimono) . So it would really suck to have my clothes ruined with blood . The question is how many dick kicks would it take to switch the decision ? Would I rather get kicked in the dick 17 times than have the blood ? Probably not . Also if I got to choose either unlimited pie whenever I want in perpetuity throughout the universe or unlimited sex whenever I want I'd probably go pie .  One time I was hanging out with a lady and she was wearing a dress with no underthings and sitting across from me totally flashing her stuff . I don't know if it was on purpose or not . The motive of the woman remain a mystery . And even though we had JUST had sex it made me feel highly aroused . So I thought to myself that I should slither over there and go to town on her with the first portion of my alimentary canal IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN . But I didn't . Because that's not how I work . What if she didn't want to have me smash my face in her snizz ? Then its awkward for both of us . Either she has to endure oral sex she doesn't want to she has to mule kick me away like Aunt Sally at the Black Friday sale . So I took the safe route and did nothing . I am not a risk taker people . Such as , sometimes after the "good" lovin' a lady might say to me "I was hoping you were going to put in in my ass" and I have to remind them I only do that upon request whereupon they scowl or pout and say something to the effect of "that would ruin it" . I don't just go around sticking my dick in people's assholes - that's rude , I don't care who you are . When sex is contra-contraindicated there's a couple assumptions you can make about what's going to happen - but is hardcore assfucking one of them ? I submit that it is not . It puts me in a mind of a Louis CK bit where he was talking about making out with a woman and then he started to "go for it" and she pushed him away . So he stopped . And then the next time they talked she asked "why didn't her have sex that one time ?" And he said that he didn't think she wanted to and she said "I kind of wanted you to force me a little" and he said "well why didn't you say that ?" And she said , of course , "that would ruin it" . The punchline being that bad things can happen if you think that's cool when its not . What I'm saying is that while California has passed a Yes means Yes law (that was CA right ? ) I still uphold the principal that Yes means Maybe But Probably Not . That's why I am tentative and lousy in bed . Its reason number 88 why 40Deuce is a terrible lover . BUT no one can say I made them feel uncomfortable , not in bed anyway . And that's all that matters . To me . Not to the women . At all . In other news I got super pissed and left a meeting today because the lady who invited me to the meeting tried to stop me every time I started to say something . So I says to her I says ; "Why did you want me here if you didn't want my input ?" And she was heard to remark ; "I already decided what needs to happen I just need people to agree with me !" Fuck that , I have work to do lady . That was the most angry I've been in a long time . In other other news this ; While you're alive, shine Never let your mood decline We've a brief span of life to spend Time necessitates an end That's translated from ancient Greek allegedly - how dies it still rhyme in English ? And finally , jizzing all over yourself when you perform a specific nonsexual movement may sound like a dirty miracle to you , but imagine the anxiety it could riddle someone with . With which it could riddle someone I mean . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
||||
|
I think we need to see a picture of this kimono (on you, of course). Is it really a kimono or are you just exercising hyperbole about a bathrobe? Re, your uncertainty about making anyone uncomfortable, I suppose one solution is the kind of upfront negotiation that is done by some people in the kinky community. You discuss all of the things that are OK/not OK, maybe there is even a checklist that is reviewed: Finger in ass Yes/no Buttplug in ass Yes/no Dick in ass Yes/no Random offerings of oral sex Yes/no & etc. Dorky as that may be. When the consent is all worked out in advance I suppose it gives a lot more freedom later on.   
| |||
|
I see that Smarty and Intenda have covered all the essential parts - rather like your kimono, no? Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
|
Become a member to create a blog
