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Mister Mastodon Farm
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Mister Mastodon Farm A while back I was watching the TV (shocking ! ) and there was a super hot skinny lady who thought she was gross and fat . And all her friends and family were crying and it was "emotionally powerful" according to the info button . Obviously this lady has problems . But I feel like in addition to body dysmorphia she has another problem that no one seemed to care about - such as , she obviously felt that being 10-15 pounds<b> overweight </font></b>is the WORST thing in the world and she should almost kill herself over it . Isn't that also an issue ? Like if you "cure" her dysmorphia and then she really does gain 10 pounds you're right back where you started right ? I assume no one thought that was a problem because all the people confronting her were also slender and sexy )this is TV after all) so they probably all think that gaining a few pounds IS the end of the god damn world . I liken it to a dude who drinks too much because he has PTSD - if you cure him from drinking he still has PTSD . What have you really accomplished ? While we're on the subject what they need to do is figure our how to make dysmorphia work for us . Like I'm never going to look good , but wouldn't it be great if they could crazy me up so I was dysmorphic in a "good" way . Like I thought I looked like this ;  Wouldn't it be better if I was that kind of crazy ? I'd be happier then which is supposed to be good for you . Why isn't being delusion ever beneficial ? Stupid brains . This is similar to my theory that we need to learn how to control flesh eating bacteria so it only eats the flesh we want it to eat - like my fat belly . I have so many great ideas , where are you science ?! Speaking of science did you know that Issac Newton fought crime like Batman ? Its true . He arrested tons of people for counterfeiting and they were all hanged - and since he invented gravity . . . . you fill in the blanks you know ?  Back before all my traitor friends learned how to skate I played in a broomball league for years . It was pretty fun . One year the local minor league hockey team joined the league and even though they didn't have the right equipment and usually only had 3-4 players they crushed everyone because you know , they knew how to play . Anyway , they'd usually take it "easy" on everyone else , and by that I mean they'd only beat them 12-0 or so , but one time my team actually managed to score a goal on them and they got pissed . I think the final score was 67-1 or something fucking ridiculous . And every time we played them after that it was the same thing , one time they scored 75 goals on us in the first period . It was pathetic . That seems to be how people operate in a nutshell . They fuck you over pretty bad as long as you don't resist in any way , but if you do , then you're in for the ass fucking of the century . Because how dare you have any tiny shred of dignity you pig ? Gees .  I had a dream the other night that I quit my job to run a mastodon farm , which is a misnomer because it should be a mastodon ranch . People just thought that I was selling normal steaks under the brand name Mastodon steaks because why wouldn't they think that ? Sometimes they'd come to the ranch for a visit though and man oh man would they be surprised . Did you know that most mammoths were smaller than elephants ? I didn't . And that mastodons and mammoths are different ? I didn't . Do you think you could find someone in America that would butcher a mastodon ? Or would you need to get an elephant butcher from African or India ? Is that even a thing ? Is it racist that I think it is ? Anyway , this dream got me to thinking about resurrecting extinct species . I know they "cloned" some kind of extinct water buffalo or some such by creating an embryo and implanting it in a modern boring ox or something . That seems to be the tricky part , finding an animal you can have carry your scientific monster and give birth to it . I imagine its like cross-species organ . Such as even if you could make a mammoth would an elephant be able to carry it to term ? What else would you do with it ? At first I thought lizards and birds would be easier because they lay eggs , but then I realized that's stupid - its not like two iguanas smash and then a egg pops out , the lady iguana has to gestate it for a while before it turns into an egg . And what about fish ? They don't even do that do they ? They just shoot eggs out and they get fertilized later . How does that work for bringing back extinct frankenfish ? I don't know . And I never will , that's the sad part - I'm too old . Even if I started trying to learn everything about genetics and playing god and all that I'd never have enough time to understand any of this .  Speaking of babies and stuff I was also thinking the other day . When you're born you're dumb , and you get smarter just be getting older for a while - but then that stops and you have to exert effort to get smarter . What's up with that ? Why can't our smartness just get getting smarter via time ? Even if no one teaches them anything a gets smarter between age 1 second and a couple years right ? Just by their brain developing . Why can't that keep going ? I guess the obvious answer is that's as smart as evolution needs us to be to not die . But I want to be smarter damn it ! Stupid evolution . Speaking of all that stuff again , the super pothead lady I work with is pregnant . I have to assume if you're pregnant you're supposed to STOP smoking 2 ounce of weed a day . Which is pretty crazy when you think about it . I mean you get high every day for decades and then all of a sudden you can't get high at all ? And I have to imagine that being pregnant would REALLY make you want to be get high . And the big question is should her husband have to stop smoking too ? That seems like a wicked burn too . On the other hand she's 40 so her will probably be messed up anyway . Maybe she should just smoke up . I suppose that's a "terrible" thing to say . Did you know that Godzilla is the king of monsters ? Because he is . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Mastodon translates as "nipple tooth". That seems appropriate for this site. Good selection. Just south9ish0 of St Louis, MO is Mastodon State historic site with fossils and a full skeleton. Been there! Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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Sometimes I think I have a little bit of that reverse dysmorphia, in that I am always flabbergasted when I'm shopping for clothes and pull a pair of pants or shorts off the rack that are my size. What the hell? Can my ass really be that huge? The ones that are two sizes down are more how I picture myself. I hope that there is not such a thing as an elephant butcher. But, given that some people hunt them as game (wasn't there an uproar about some 1 percenter/corporation head posing with a dead elephant he had shot?) - well I would guess after they are senselessly murdered somebody has to do SOMEthing with the body.   
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