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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
Only 15 more months before I become a real 40-year old virgin
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Only 15 more months before I become a real 40-year old virgin And I know what a couple of you are thinking "40 , I had sex on you , you're not a virgin !" I have a confession to make , I was playing you false - that wasn't my penis , I was using my thumb . There was no PIV only thumbIV . I'm sorry to have deceived you . I don't know why I did it , I guess I got scared ? "40 , clearly that's not true , if you were using your thumb why couldn't you get it up that time or times ?" It was all part of the ruse my dear . The best way to sell a lie is to have it make you look bad . If you lie about how awesome you are people are going to be suspicious , but you lie about something that's embarrassing or some other synonym of embarrassing people will believe it "why would someone make that up !" they'll say . People are not very smart . So I while I was pretending to<b> penetrate </font></b>you with my penis but really using my thumb a couple times I pretended that I couldn't get an erection (or an eroticion) the funny sidenote people I was FULLY erect . Engorged you might say . "40 gosh darn it ! You came in my mouth a couple times ! That can't be from your thumb . I know because thumbs don't ejaculate ! You're no virgin ." First of all sometimes , rarely I admit , thumbs do ejaculate . Its a serious medical issue some men have . And secondly as was decided by the court of public opinion in 1998 even thought it has the word sex IN the name oral sex is not sex . You can suck a million cocks and/or have your cock sucked two million times and still be a virgin . You can swallow a Costco size tub of semen and still wear white to your wedding and its totally cool . And that's also why you can tackle anyone you want to the ground , pin them down and face fuck them to your heart's content and its not sexual assault because oral is not sex . Thanks a lot Clinton !  That's why I always wear a mouthguard when I'm in public . "But 40 , can't the Clinton face-fuckers but pull the mouthguard out if they want to get you ?" I'm not stupid , I glue it in and then remove it with solvent when I get inside . Its really bad for my gums . The hygienist scolds me about it all the time . Until I hold her down and shove my cock in her mouth and shut her up . Nothing illegal about that .  I heard a dude say today "If I go down on you will you make lasagna ?" on the phone , I assume with his wife . That's the great thing about mobile phones right ? You get to hear everyone's business . I bash relationships a lot , and the quid pro quo part of it I hate the most , but I have matured as a person and I realize that's just how the world works . Ideally you should go down on your lady if she wants you to because you want to be nice to her . But in the real world when you're together ALL the time I can see how that could become tedious if you're not into it . So that's where the negotiation comes in . I understand it , but I still hate it . Did you know that Mars doesn't have tectonic plates ? I didn't . So if you're worried about earthquakes get yourself to Mars . Yesterday a dude said to me he said "How much does it cost you to fill up your tank ?" And being a jerk I said "With what ?" I'm pretty sure I watched him go insane right before my eyes . It was unsettling . I think I created another Joker . Did you know that Kristen Bell was the voice of the chick in Frozen and did the singing ? I didn't . She was on the TV the other day and she mentioned how when she first came to Hollywoodland she had trouble getting booked for anything because the deal was people said she wasn't pretty enough to be the main girl but she was too pretty to be the main girl's ugly friend .  Pictured above , not pretty enough . I've heard Kaley Cuoco say that she got the same kind of feedback - not pretty enough to be the lead , not ugly enough to be the subordinate female character .  Yep , who would want to look at that ? Yuck ! And then of course there's the fact that the only two roles for women are pretty girl or pretty girl's ugly friend but we all already knew that part . Not sure what the point of this post was . Just a bunch of pictures and some sarcastic comments about mouthrape . Sorry guys . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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5/4/2016 5:46 pm |
What a fucking idiot....
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Lasagna is pretty time consuming to make - I think the wife got the short end of the stick (so to speak) on that deal. Unless she had a hankering for lasagna as well...  
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What a fucking idiot.... 
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Thumbs Up, 40!! Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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It's not so much the number of orgasms as the time exchange. A decent made from scratch lasagna probably takes at least 90 minutes to prepare. I don't even want a guy to go down on my for 90 minutes.
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