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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
I fucked the sheriff but I just got a handy from the deputy
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I fucked the sheriff but I just got a handy from the deputy I was walking to a place this morning because my dad needed his truck and I don't have the bus schedule figured out well enough to do anything other than get to work (30 minutes early or 10 minutes late) and when I was by the high school the sheriff's car starting cruising alongside me and I notice said Sheriff (who's name is , no shit , Betty Lou - which I'm sure strikes fear into the hearts of criminals) is eyeballing me . And after a while she pulls over and gets out and then laughs and says "I thought you were carrying a sawed off shotgun" (I had an umbrella) . So we chatted for a while and she offered to drive me the rest of the way (which I declined) . I am terrible at picking up any kind of social queues , but if I didn't know better I would have thought she was flirting with me . You're probably had sex in a car , but have you had sex in a SQUAD car ? If you did was it consensual ? I hope so . If it wasn't I'd rather not hear about it honestly . I've heard enough stories about women being "kinda" assaulted to make me hate this world 17 times over .  A lady blogged a blog the other day about how gross "butt stuff" is , which I cannot dispute by any means BUT if you think about it it's not like any of our orifices are super clean you know ? The mouth SEEMS like it should be the least diseased ridden but it's actually the worst . I remember in school when the "cool" art teacher tried to break up a fight and got bit on the arm - no joke his arm swelled up to easily double the normal size . If you really think about it (which you shouldn't) sex is pretty gross no matter how you do it .  I was reading a paper about the history of military underwear (maybe I think YOU have too much free time) and there was an interesting footnote . The US military , which is currently working on a photoreceptive shirt that will generate electricity (soldiers in the field often carry 12 pounds of batteries) and has general issue everything - does not provide lady soldiers with bras . They get a voucher to by their own bra . Why ? Because as one general put it "it's too complicated" . I heard the song Closer on the radio today . I often wonder why it's okay to play that song on the radio . And I also wonder , what is Mr. Reznor suggesting ? Does he want to fuck me like he is an animal , or like I am an animal or like both of us are<b> animals </font></b>? And what kind of animal ? A handshake is basically how octopuses (I refuse to say octopi) fuck . Which I think would be a good method that we adopt . Like the way we do it now is fine for partytime funtime , but for making babies I think the dude should jack off into his hand , shake hands with the lady , who then smears the gunk into her snizz . Eagles fuck while plummeting to the ground at hundreds of miles an hour . People say if they don't finish in time they smash into the ground and die but that sounds like an urban (rural ? ) legend to me . It seems like it would be fun to have sex while sky diving but I doubt it is , the wind whipping at your junk like that ? Even you see how people's jowls vibrate when they're falling to earth ? Imagine that on your genitals . No thanks . And I feel like two examples is enough . Feel free to tweet your own "animals fuck like this" factoid to old Trent . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Be happy that you're white - you can be sure a black person carrying a sawed off umbrella wouldn't have gotten a flirtatious offer of a ride...  
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9/25/2016 9:13 am |
I've been "fucked" in squad car, but it wasn't sex........ I can identify with that problem! I was in the grocery store the other day and this attractive lady pasted me on three isles, smiled and said "Hi" every time! Dumb-ass here was looking for the bacon bits! 
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I've been "fucked" in squad car, but it wasn't sex........ I can identify with that problem! I was in the grocery store the other day and this attractive lady pasted me on three isles, smiled and said "Hi" every time! Dumb-ass here was looking for the bacon bits! (Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group
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9/25/2016 9:38 am |
Bacon bits????????ROTFLMAO 
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i would also love to enjoy sex with a lady like that way.
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Praying Mantis females eat their mates. It should be noted that in those situations where the female does eat the male she generally starts with the head and male praying mantis has been shown to be perfectly capable of continuing the act of mating even after losing his head Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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I hear those sawed off umbrellas don't work well in the rain.  Vive La Difference
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" the dude should jack off into his hand , shake hands with the lady" I do that all the time 
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