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Secure your own mask before helping others
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Secure your own mask before helping others Makes sense on an airplane but when it comes to Halloween costumes you definitely should help others before putting your own mask on .  Lately one of the apples keeps rolling out of the bag if you know what I mean . What's up with that ? Is my underwear getting old and stretched out like Katie Morgan's asshole ? Did I lose or gain weight ? Are my nuts shrinking ? It's always the left one , which I guess makes sense , it's slightly smaller and meeker than ol righty .  I guess the good thing about being a dude is that when it happens to me no one notices . Unless you see me subtly trying to do the Elvis hip swivel to wrangle lefty back in without reaching into my pants . Do you ever get a really cold feeling in your pelvis after you have an orgasm ? If not please speculate wildly on what kind of cancer I might have . I'm no internist but it seems like it could make sense - you get aroused and a bunch of blood heads to your groins , then you get off and normal bloodflow returns , seems like that could cause a chilly sensation . Oh man , the first episode of Westworld was GOOOOD . I feel like they've chosen a somewhat limited topic for storytelling but I think it will be great for a while before it flames out ala Lost . I almost titled this post How to Fuck Like a Pro Wrestler but I realized I've said fuck twice lately in my titles . I don't even really cuss IRL . It's amusing to me how some people censor their cursing when they blog on here . I just looked at a million dicks but if I say "shit" that's really going to offend someone . People that are into wrestling love to complain about wrestling , some people I think watch it just to complain . The trendy complaint right now is that wrestlers today don't learn the formula (of course back in the day the complaint was that it was too formulaic - go figure) so here's the "proper" way to put a match together and how it applies to making sweet , sweet love (aka fucking) . Setting the Story > Shine > Cut-Off > Heat > False Comeback > Heat > Comeback > Finish Setting the Story: In wrestling this can happen for weeks or months beforehand or right before the match as the dudes walk down to the ring . Who's the face , who's the heel , what's at stake , who dinged who's Porsche , etc . In sexing this is the foreplay before the foreplay - which really is more important . Did you go out for an elegant candle lit diner ? Did you order Chinese and watch Jessica Drew ? Did you smoke a bowl and go to a see an 80's cover band ? Is it Wednesday and that's the night you make sweet weekly love ? These things all inform what's going to go down . The more work you do here the easier things will be later . The Shine: This is where the good guy show's that he's better and should win , the smacks the heel around and traditionally it climaxes with the bad guy taking a big bump and running out of the ring as the fans jeer . This is where a heel's selling is important . If a heel isn't selling his fear or reverence or shock that he is getting his ass kicked by the face the whole thing will go flat . When you're doing the sex this is the preliminary stuff , making out a little , some grab ass , moving to the place where the humping will occur , letting the out , getting partially or fully undressed . The line is blurred if this is foreplay or not . Varies from person to person . Taking out the recycling is foreplay for some people ya know ? The Cut-Of and The Heat: This is where the bad guy goes something dastardly to get the advantage . Once the face is down , it is very important not to allow them to get back up . This should be the slowest portion of the match , where the heel methodically takes control to keep the good guy down . This is where a face's selling is important . The heel basically beats down on the face to draw sympathy from the audience . If he does not sell effectively , the crowd will not sympathies and the heel will have to keep the heat on longer . In the bedroom this is where you get down to brass tacks . Foreplay begins in earnest , spilling over into sexing . Genitals are touched . Nipples are sweetly caressed and or viciously pinched . Kisses happen all over the place - you never know where the next kiss might land ! There's much stroking of bodies and perhaps the occasional moan of please or annoyance . The False Comeback This is where you give the audience hope that the face can overcome the odds and to remind them that although they are getting wailed on they are the better wrestler . Once you generate enough heat the face can take advantage of an opening , make it to their feet , and have a quick flurry of offense , while still selling the effects of their beating . Through selling of an injury that the heel administered or through using a Cut-Off spots again the heel will get back on top to yet again generate heat , keeping the match flowing . It's not uncommon to see matches go through several Heat > False Comeback > Cut-Off cycles , to generate a massive amount of heat , so that the roof blows off of the place for the real Comeback . This is where the sex begins in earnest in whatever the chosen format may be . PIV , PIA , strap-on , oral for effect (as opposed to foreplay oral) whatever you're into . You go right to the edge and then you pull back a little to keep the heat on - or if you're me you ejaculate and then apologize . Positions are switched , dirty talk and/or awkward attempts are dirty talk happens . Asses are slapped . The people on the other side of the apartment wall give each other a knowing smile . It's weird isn't it , know people are banging nearby is sometimes more titillating than fooling around . The Comeback This is a bigger Shine where the face finally struggles and powers through the pain (note: always keep selling) to finally give the heel the beating they deserve . Through this , it's important to keep moving . Having a hot comeback is one of the most important parts of a match so always be mindful not to use moves or spots that will slow the pace of the match . If possible , save your quickest spots for this portion of the match , leading into the Finish . This matches up pretty nicely actually - when you're sexing it up and you're moving into the landing pattern the same rules hold - it's important to keep moving at this point to not break the flow . Don't do anything that's going to slow down the action . The Finish This is the crescendo of it all. After the face is back on top , kicking ass and the heel is begging for mercy and trying to find an opening , the face has to eventually slow down due to the effects of the match , and to allow the audience to catch a breath after hopefully losing their minds with the Comeback . Whether it be through a big move into a double knockdown or through intense selling of injuries , the match now slows down as the face postures to hit their finishing move , or the heel finds a sneaky way to avoid certain defeat and , through trickery and shenanigans , win the match . In sex this is hopefully where orgasms happen and then you finish up with a counter clockwise swirl . Some people use the pinch which I find pretentious . Often this involves loud invocations of a deity , even amongst non-religious types . Explain that . Sometimes they're fluids involved . The debate on what these fluids are rages on . The study that seems to make the most sense to me is the one that says some squirters are spraying urine , some are spraying vag juice , and some a combination of both . Although it also claimed that 40% of women squirt , which seems high so maybe it's not that reliable . Anyway , that's how to<b> screw </font></b>like a wrestler . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Whew! and now I'm ready for Round 2! Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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