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Anal heart I Why is it that in every culture there's a fear of the dark and of spiders and of clowns ? Why is it that no matter one's upbringing , the thought of meeting a spider-clown in the dark is terrifying ? It's because of the Unconscious Collective . They're a multi-dimensional collective mind , forever dreaming , forever tainting our dreams with their thoughts and fears . In this dimension , they manifest through an avatar , which happens to be an adorable raccoon . Are there non-adorable raccoons you ask ? Yes , yes there are . I met a lady at work last week by the name of Iron Johnson . Naming your Iron is a bit odd notwithstanding but I feel like if your last name is Johnson it behooves you to keep that in mind when naming your . I will wager though that being a girl named Iron Johnson is probably better than being a dude named Iron Johnson because two things are going to happen if you're a dude named Iron Johnson . 1. People will think you're a porn star (even if you aren't) 2. You will get kicked in the dick . ALOT . 80% of the time was his unwarranted dick-kick the kicker will say "I guess it isn't iron after all" and then laugh like a braying jackass . As a woman named Iron Johnson people will just mention your mildly strange name in their mildly dumb blog . I think there was a boxer called "Scrap Iron" Johnson but there's probably been a boxer named everything at one point or another . I mean there's only so many nicknames you know ? So this broad comes up to me the other day and she's like "can you write down all the TPS codes for me ?' and I start naming them off and she goes "get a pen and paper and write them down for me" and I says to her I says "Well you're the one who wants them so how about you write them down ?" This went over about as well as me saying "Hey about I murder you and then assfuck your corpse live on TV ?" So that turned into a thing . I would like for some number of days to pass in my life without a "thing" . But I was thinking , the issue must be me right ? I mean just this morning I was thinking about the dude who always gets in fights . You knew a dude a like this back in the day . And he would always say "I never start any of these fights" but if you're getting in fights every damn time you go out you have to be partially responsible at the very least yeah ? So the dude that gets in fights all the time no matter how much you like him is just an asshole that likes fighting . So if I have a thing every day (almost) I must just be a douche right ? Most guys that like fighting end up getting stabbed and either die or realize that maybe fighting all the time isn't a great idea . My fighting all the time friend did the latter . He says he survived said stabbing by going into the recovery position which I had never heard of . This appears to be bullshit though because the internet tells me the point of the recovery position is to keep the airway of an unconscious person open .  Am I crazy or is that picture super<b> creepy </font></b>? I guess most first aid things are when taken out of context . In other news I think Joel McHale might be a nerd . I'm reading his book (which is quite funny) and he mentioned his favorite show is the X-Files , his favorite author is Joe Abercrombie , and his favorite movie is Star Wars . That's all nerd stuff . It makes me kind of sad that there's Star Wars porn all over the place (so sad I've posted pictures of it in my blog 7 times before) can there be nothing sacred ? No , there cannot .  Star Trek porn I'm totally fine with . Speaking of sacred I'm also reading a book about Joan the Maid (also called Joan of Arc which I don't care for) and the movie the Messenger (which I love and acknowledge is not a good movie) is actually pretty accurate to what they know about her . Good work Hollywood ! That's weird to say . Although her name isn't even Joan , it's Jeanne . One thing I'll never understand is the historical impulse to change everyone's name . I feel like everyone has a movie that is not liked by critics , nor made any money , nor is liked by their friends or anyone they know that they inexplicable love . What's yours ? Cult classics do not count . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Audience participation! Hmmm the only one I can think of is Rock and Roll High School (with the Ramones) and even that doesn't really qualify because I have a couple friends who also like it. I'll have to think on it some more.   
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I don't watch movies that much so can't name one no one liked but I did. It's been over 15yrs since I even watched one(time flies). I guess naming your child Iron is something that can't really be shortened just picked on for being strange and unique. You've got a thing with most people or subjects it's just your opinion jumping out and telling those that need to know  Don't care about nerdy movies characters books etc I'm just not into alternative sci fi weirdness. Keep up the randomness blogging Duece good job.
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I'm not afraid of clowns. I even worked a haunted house as a clown and scared everyone else! Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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Seriously? TPS Codes? Don't you mean TPS Reports? I think she wanted you to use the new cover sheets for the TPS REPORTS! Get her to send you an email on the new cover sheets for the TPS Reports! As far as movies that critics didn't like...can I go with Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter Is Dead?
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