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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
Getting all sexy on virgins since 2016
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Getting all sexy on virgins since 2016 Despite the fact that THIS IS A SEX SITE !!! I rarely tell tales of my sexual exploits - mostly because it doesn't happen so often ! Hi-oh ! But seriously (that was serious) what is there to tell ? Some awkward foreplay , 88 seconds of mechanical meat-slapping , then an eternity of reproachful silence , it's a story as old as time . But every now and then I encounter a tale that MUST be told . I'd been chatting with a gal on a legit dating site (not a SEX SITE !!! ) for a little bit and like many such gals she was 100% DTF . It's like some kind of strange bizzaro world for me online I tell you (there's no such thing as a normal bizzaro world dummy) . But I was hesitant to pull the trigger on that deal because she said he was a virgin which means either ; 1. She's a virgin OR 2. She's a crazy person who pretends to be a virgin for a crazy reason And I have often been quoting as saying about virgins "They always remember the first time , I don't want to be remembered , I want to be forgotten" and by quoted I mean I stole it from Seinfeld like 50% of the things I say . And if she was crazy she would be crazy which is also something to avoid . Plus someone my age who's a virgin ? Clearly they have something wrong with them . Anyway , I went ahead and agree to the deal because hey , the first time always sucks so why shouldn't it be with me ? Also I was pretty horny . Like 50/50 . So we're watching Black Mass (romantic ! ) and we start fooling around and one thing leads to the other - the other in this case being me going down on her like a seal eating a pineapple . So she orgasms like crazy (pretty sure , like 80% sure , that would be funny if a virgin was faking though right ?) and she goes "wow , that was great , thanks" and then she starts getting dressed and I says to her I says "Are we done ? I thought we could do the part where the dick goes in the pussy" and she goes she goes "Why would we do that ? I already got off ." Ah snap ! It was friggin' hilarious to me . And then she was like "well gotta go" and she bounced almost before I could get dressed ! It was a total dude maneuver and I loved it . According to Bill Clinton she's still a virgin and she makes that move like a player ? You gotta respect that . And yes I know either she wasn't really a virgin or she got freaked out about the whole intercourse and thing and that's why she bailed but can you just let me have this ? Can't I just believe that a virgin scammed oral sex off me and then bailed ? Because that's the world I want to live in . In which I want to live I mean . When I first saw the 40 Year Old Virgin I thought that easily could have been me . I'm still not quite sure how it didn't end up being me . Clearly I'm on the scene , like a sex machine . Specifically this one ;  You know its funny when you think of a sex machine you think of something like this but vibrators are machines and so are dildos for that matter . Condoms even are technically machines . Lube is kind of a grey area . Remember that time I tried to make homemade lube and gave my lady a grey area ? Boom ! I say a noggin' sometimes because why wouldn't you ? But I can't say it anymore because it turns out the young morons I work with thought that noggin' meant genitals . So all these times I've said "Do what I said or I'll bounce this soda can off your noggin'" they thought I was going to throw it at their junk . Damn these days . They also thought that "giving someone the business" meant fucking . It's just all sex with these blowjobs you know ? And finally , I used to play tons of board games when I was a young noggin and one of them that always seemed a little weird was Scruples - because it was a game about moral quandaries and we were<b> teenagers </font></b>so it generally made no sense because what the hell did we know ? And about 40% of the questions where about cheating on your spouse . So I never understood what we played that game then . But I was thinking today - it makes even less sense as adults . I mean what is the point of that game ? To stir shit up between you and your friends ? The way it works is you ask a question like "If you ran over a hobo would you tell anyone" and you go "of course , I'm not a monster !" and then everyone else has the chance to me like "nah , you're totally a murder pal" . Why would anyone play that game ? What's the upside ? Yay , I won Scruples and now we all hate each other ! Woo ! And finally finally I won a Seinfeld trivia contest today by naming 11 of the fake movies in the show but I forgot Chunnel ! How would I forget Chunnel , 32 Miles of Hell ? The president's was IN the Chunnel , how could I forget that ? A dude at work said today that if he "had to" he could swim across the English Channel (do they call it the French Channel in France ? ) and he's not like a super swimmer dude , he's just a dude . I am amazed by how delusion people are - if 99.99% of us "had" to swim across the English Channel we would die . I blame the media for making people think that when push comes to shove we can accomplish crazy feats of physical endurance . You know what happens when push comes to shove ? Usually you fail miserably . That's why the media deserves the final Deathblow .  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The Virgin Scam ... write a screenplay. You may have found your million dollar vehicle! Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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I have to wonder how many people have been all strapped to a machine, rig or bed and had their partner either leave or drop from a heart attack or something?  Vive La Difference
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Wow look at the size differential in those guns. I'd say Statham's agent failed him in not protesting that poster design    
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