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A steady diet of nothing
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A steady diet of nothing Vice did a pretty cool article about the Young Bucks and in the comments someone said that they're "the Fugazi of pro wrestling" which is a good way to put it . Pete Holmes had a new special on HBO recently and in one of his bits he mentions that your brain could make you feel good all the time but it doesn't . Back in the days when the workings of the body and mind were so poorly understood that barbers were doing surgery people attributed all these constant mental naggings about old embarrassments and mistakes to a little invisible demon that rode on your shoulder , whispering terrible things in your ear to make you crazy . Nowadays , we know that the culprit is actually just your own brain , being a huge jerk for no good reason . The way I see it your brain has 7 main attack vector that it employs of the purposes of being a huge asshole . Obsessively imagining your worst phobias - Spiders ? Clowns ? Being buried alive ? How about being buried alive by spiders wearing clown makeup ? No wait -being buried alive in spiders wearing clown makeup . Did you know that psychologists in the 70's thought that a fear of spiders meant that you had gender identity issues ? What a bunch of maroons . I wonder what future social scientists will mock the psychologist of today for . Replaying the most embarrassing moment of your life - That dream where you're back in school and not wearing any pants really pales in comparison with this , not least because it actually happened . What you totally should have said that one time - AKA the George Costanza Effect . Man he thought he was so friggin cool with their snide remarks . You know what the perfect comeback would have been ? Yeah you'd have liked to have seen his face . Why can't you be faster on the draw ? That time you screwed up everything like a complete idiot - Oh god , you really made a total mess of things , huh? What a moron . Let's play that scene out again in precise technicolor detail . Fear of an uncertain future - What if you lose your job ? What if you get cancer ? What if you lose your job and get cancer and you get kicked out of your house and have to live on the streets ? What'll kill you first : the cancer , starvation or freezing to death ? The realization that everyone you love will die some day - I wonder how they'll die ? What would you even do without them? You'll be all alone ! Oh my god , what if someone asks you to speak at the funeral ? Imagining how your life would be better if you made different choices - Should have chosen a different major . Should have moved to a different town . Should have saved more money . Should have gotten a better job . Should have maintained relationships with old friends . Shouldn't have<b> wasted </font></b>so much time . My uncle told me once that he was worried that I took life too seriously and he told me "no one ever wishes they screwed around less" . That dude was way off . Now you're probably thinking "Gees thanks 40 , you're such a downer" but check this shit out Jeepers , I totally came up with foolproof ways to combat all these attacks . And I will share them with you for only $799 (or $1500 Canadian) . They're below but if you read them and don't send me the money you're nothing more than a common thief - like those fuckers who watch PBS and don't donate any money . I call these techniques collectively the Quadruple Inverted Tailgrab Snickers Perfect Imagine yourself eating a delicious slice of pie- nothing scar about that , unless you have a phobia of pie . In which case there's no hope for you you poor bastard . Take a deep breath and remind yourself that probably nobody remembers that happening except for you and maybe two or three other people , who know better than to say anything because of the photos in your safe-deposit box . Start daydreaming about how that jerk probably would have run away crying if you'd said what you ought to have said . And then what if you got recognized as a true master of snappy comebacks and they gave you a parade and the key to the city ! Take a deep breath and remind yourself that learning from one's mistakes is the second most powerful form of learning , after the kind where you get an electric shock when you're wrong . But wait , what if you get some kind of weird alien cancer that isn't damaging to your health and actually gives you superpowers ? You take a moment to consider the flip side : all the people you hate are going to die too . So there's that at least . Calmly remind yourself that the interplay of cause and effect is so complex that no decision can truly be said to be right or wrong except through hindsight and often not even then , and anyway the sun's gonna burn out eventually so oh well . And when all else fails think of the Young Bucks  We did it ! Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Great post. I would say my brain is an asshole mostly around the fear of uncertain future theme (and mostly about medical stuff - "what if I get Alzheimer's and there's no one to make sure I get put in a nice storage warehouse, er, memory care facility". And also castigating myself for wasting time.  
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They get to Vegas on the Indy circuit occasionally. I've seen them wrestle here a couple times.
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one amazingly adept stream of consciousness that had me laughing and questioning as I rode the rapids. fucking A. You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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Oy  Vive La Difference
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