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Magic wand
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Magic wand "Life is an endless series of train-wrecks with only brief, commercial-like breaks of happiness" Wade W Wilson - Regina , Saskatchewan , Canada If I was a wizard I wound be annoyed at Hitachi for appropriating my culture . But then I suppose making a woman have an orgasm is pretty magical . Did you know that the tradition of boning on the third date stems from the fact that earth is the third planet from THE Sun in THE solar system ? That's actually why Pluto was stripped of it's planethood - scientist were tired of waiting until the 9th date to fuck Plutonians so they tried to strong-arm them by threatening to demote their world . You have to hand it to those Plutonians though , they don't cave to bullies like us earth folk . Even though without planethood they lose out on a lot of money from the solar government . I wonder how many times in my life I will think to myself after doing<b> yoga </font></b>"man why don't I do<b> yoga </font></b>more often I always feel much better when I do ?" Probably 120 . I know the reason though , I get tired of the listening to the instructor's patter and by the time I've been doing it enough to know the routine without having to listen to said instructor I'm ready to switch to something else anyway . Variety is the spice of life - that's why I do TWO exercises . And have sex TWO different ways . And have TWO outfits . That's why they call me Jimmy Two Times .  Soda is delicious (obvs) and it is made of water , sugar and carbon dioxide gas . When soda goes "flat" this means the carbon dioxide has escaped . But it still lousy with sugar and that's the delicious part - so why isn't flat soda delicious ? It doesn't add up . Carbonated water is gross as shit . So what is the carbonation bringing to the party ? Perhaps I should just cut out the middlemen and just eat sugar . By the by did you know that soda decreased the bone density in women - it does SO many bad things it's almost like it's from another planet or something . Perhaps the planet where you fuck on the 6th date - they've always had issues with us . Did you know that cashews come from cashew apples ? I didn't .  Kind of looks like an unhealthy apple is pushing one out , to use the crude vernacular of the street . Good thing I don't like nuts anyway . Apparently the fruit itself is not very tasty but like everything you can mash it up into booze which also does not taste good but at the very least will get you shithoused . We've all been taught that the club sandwich is so called because the proper way to eat it is to smash it flat with your club (you know that club you have ? ) before you eat it but you would be surprised to learn that that's misinformation . It's actually so called because it originated at the Union Club of New York City . I'd like to be a member of a private social club some day but there's the problem of the Groucho Marx theorem . It's a conundrum to be sure . Similar I have a hard time trusting a woman what would acquiesce to having sex with me because what is she doing ? There must be some kind of angle right ? That's just paranoia though , usually there is no angle , just a lot of bad previous bad relationships so I seem pretty good by comparison . Which I am but it's not enough . My role in life is to make women realize that they do deserve a good man . It's not much , but at least I'm contributing you know ? Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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I know what you mean on the 'why don't I do this more often syndrome' with yoga. I put my yoga mat in my living room in hopes that would impel me to partake more often, but so far it's not working. So what are your two sex positions?   
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I beg to differ. . I went out with a woman named Venus once, and she put out on the FIRST date.  But then, Venus might have been her stripper name.... 
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those look more like embarrassed pears. just sayin' I don't like bubbles in my drinks. I find them invasive. I did that look what happens to a nail if it sits in coke for a week thing when I was a kid. so, yeah, no soda. You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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By the by - it is not all pop that causes bone loss, just colas and yes! I called it POP. In my neck of the woods, soda is Club Soda and sodapop is Pop Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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