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40deuce's Sexy Murder Mysteries
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40deuce's Sexy Murder Mysteries I have been tasked with finding out how much a collection of Little Blue Books is worth and the answer is not much but I am finding them pretty amusing . I suppose it's not quite fair to laugh at our screwhead ancestors but people in the future are going to be laughing their asses off at us so why not ? They're funny for a lot of reasons to my modern eyes but one thing that is just inherently entertaining is the wildly insane range of topics - you have things like "The Best Jokes about Doctors" and "How to Make Candy" along with "Homo-Sexual Life" and "What Life Means at 72" along with excerpts from Kant and Lincoln's Speeches . It's quite the potpourri . As per usual though the story behind it isn't so funny - the dude was a socialist and J Edgar Hoover had the FBI fool him up real nice . A man was suffering from a bronchial attack and as a result was unable to speak above a whisper . The illness was slight but painful and he decided to call on residence of the doctor who had just moved to town . The patient appeared one evening at he doctor's front door , rang the bell , and after a short wait stood facing the doctor's young and pretty wife . "Is the doctor at home ?" he asked in his bronchial whisper . "No" the young woman replied "come right on in ." See it's funny because they're going to have sex ! LOL right ? Is it important that the doctor has just moved to town ? In the 40's was there a period of time when someone first moved into town then their wife would bang everyone ? Is that what the welcome wagon was all about ?  One time they had A Day Without Women and it solved all gender issues forever - men and women are treated the same now , get paid the same , there's no gender bias , sexual assaults are a thing of the past . Which is why I am suggesting that next we need A Day Without Morality because that will solve pretty much every problem . How about June 12th ? Abandon your morals for one day , for the good of the nation . It began as a harmless escapade but it ended in MURDER ! Four sexy , sexy<b> teenagers </font></b>sneaking into a deserted old house . All they were looking for was a final night of sexy , sexy adventure before one of them went off to college . What they found instead was DEATH , a haunting , inexplicable murder that rivaled anything they’d ever seen at the movies . The trespassing teens were Titty McBoobs , her bisexual playpal with the huge rack , called the BJ Queen , and their boyfriends , Mark and Larry . On a sultry August night, a week before Titty was to fly off to Princeton, the four of them finally did what they’d always talked about , breaking into the eerie abandoned dildo factory at midnight to search for ghosts - so they could have sex with them . Titty's boyfriend , Mar k, had been in the lead , using his flashlight to illuminate the dildo machines . Despite promises to the contrary , the boys were having their fun , ass fucking the girls at every opportunity . They had finished exploring the first floor and were halfway down a second floor corridor when Larry turned around and saw that Titty was no longer behind him . “Titty ? Where are you ?” Their whispers grew louder as they began to backtrack along the corridor. “Stop fooling around.” Titty was hardly the type to wander off when there was cock nearby . “Titty?” And then they heard it . Several muffled shouts followed by a piercing scream . Titty's scream. When the BJ Queen and the boys stepped into the dusty dildo processing room , they saw the 18-year-old girl stretched out nude on the bed frame tied ankle and wrist with a ball gag in her mouth . A hunting knife was protruding from her chest, the black handlegrip facing her shoes . At first it seemed like some perverse joke , Titty getting even with the boys . The BJ Queen nudged her fuckbuddy , telling her to cut out the dramatics . “Titty?” the BJ Queen gazed down at her own hand s, now suddenly covered with blood . “She’s … she’s dead .” Mark was just stepping forward to check her pulse when the BJ Queen gasped. “OMG ! Did you see ?” She pointed out into the hallway “A man with a knife !” Instinctively , the boys gave chase with their throbbing erections leading the way . No more than 30 seconds later, as they pursued clouds of cobwebs through the downstairs rooms , a second scream brought them up short . “The BJ Queen !” Mark and Larry instantly reversed their tracks . “You left me alone !” The BJ Queen screamed as they ran back in . “Let’s get out of here .” The boys agreed . Whoever had done this was still close by , wielding that second knife . They ran , after doubling up on the BJ Queen real quick , sandwiching her between her protectors , and didn’t stop until they’d reached the safety of the police station (except once for some more DP action in the Dairy Queen bathroom) . When 40Deuce , owner of abandoned dildo factory , was told of the murder, he seemed as shocked as everyone else . “How awful ! I teach at the sex school , so I knew Titty , you know in the Biblical sense . A real golden girl . Pretty , easy , really tight asshole . Her folks never went to college , and they’d been saving for years just so one of their could go to a good school . Last year Titty took my class in sucking my dick for fun and profit . The BJ Queen took the class this year . I guess she’ll be applying to Princeton now . Have you talked to Assy McGee ?” “Who ?” The officer took out his notepad. “Assy McGee . He’s this homeless porn star who’s been squatting in the old dildo factory for years . I kick him out and lock up the place , but he always finds some way in . The girl must have surprised old Assy .” The officer wrote hurriedly . “When did you last see Mr. McGee ?” “I caught him in the house this afternoon . He was all strung out and desperate for a blowjob . He’s got a crazy , violent streak , as all male porn stars do .” Within the hour, they discovered the middle-aged porn star passed out in the park . Two used Fleshlights on the ground beside him and his hand was gripped around a old copy of Juggs . Through his stupor, Assy denied the murder. “I ain’t been in that place for days . That 40deuce guy is crazy . Last time, he took a shotgun and put it right up to my cock . Said he’d blow my balls out if I ever came back .” The clerk at All Night Porno Store had been the last person to see Assy that night . “He came in about 11 , Assy jerks dudes off on Oak Street for 5 bucks a man . Sometimes he makes enough to splurge on cheap porn . ” Although the BJ Queen was unable to identify Assy McGee in a line- up , he remains the police’s prime suspect . Do they have enough evidence to make an arrest ? You decide . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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CRIME SCENE REPORT It was a single fatal blow, delivered in a downward thrust of the knife , the handgrip turned up in the fingers for a better grasp . We have yet to determine ownership of the weapon . The murder scene was dusted and six fingerprints belonging to Mr. McGee were found . Although the room was thoroughly blood-splattered , none of these prints contained any trace of blood . No prints at all were found on the weapon . FORENSIC BLOOD REPORT Our initial blood samples produced only one type of blood , a type matching the decedent’s . A later sample taken from the shirt , however , revealed a secondary blood source . According to the test s, this was animal bloo d, most probably cat or dog . We have no idea how cat or dog blood could have gotten to the scene of the crime . Police error or lab error cannot be ruled out . THE SECOND KNIFE A hunting knife identical in make to the murder weapon was discovered lodged in the branches of a tree not far from the murder room window . The majority of the knife’s 6-inch blade had been broken off , leaving only a 3/4 inch shaft of steel . No trace of the blade was found . This second knife had been wiped clean of prints but a microscopic examination revealed traces of blood on the broken shaft . A lab analysis reveals this as animal blood , probably from a cat or dog . Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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Thank you for the Good Read this morning. I will start visiting your blog more often... THANK YOU GUYS FOR FOLLOWING MY BLOG
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I know there are porn take-offs on any number of things, but has there ever been a porn Scooby-Doo?  
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I'm thinking the dog and cat made a blood oath first and became partners in the crime... 
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hmmmmmmmmm. that 40 Deuce........what's his alibi? and I thought scooby doo was porn smarty You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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There is not enough evidence to arrest Assy McGee but I need to start visiting the restroom at Dairy Queen. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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Not enough evidence for an arrest. It was probably the doctor from the previous joke as he wasn't home or maybe a werewolf. Vive La Difference
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