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The great blog purge
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The great blog purge Last night I went through and unfollowed all the blogs I followed where there hadn't been a new post in a long time and/or that I no longer found interesting - and I'm not left with much on my list (I accidentally typed 'life' at first , F-slip ? ) . Therefore I have a favor to ask from everyone reading this . If you don't have a blog start one . If you have a blog and I don't follow it start tailoring your content to appeal to me more - things that appeal to me include but are not limited to ; non-erotic short stories , erotic stories as long as they SUPER filthy , tales of bad dates (the kind you eat) , stories about the time you were in the park and you beat up a dude and you accidentally because a because his ladies starting giving you the money because they thought that made you the new , scathing indictments of people who joke about pimps because of the horrors of the sex trade , bad jokes , hilarious jokes (good jokes are not welcome) , and tips for bitcoin mining . Thanks in advance Today my Health Warrior Dark Chocolate Coconut Sea Salt Protein Bar said to me "Nothing good ever came out of being in a comfort zone" and I said "Shut up Health Warrior Dark Chocolate Coconut Sea Salt Protein Bar !" because you know how I feel about my food talking to me . But also that's pure BS . I'm told by those who's experienced it that women need to be pretty comfortable to have orgasms . And I think most people would agree lady orgasms are something good . Plus while some good ideas come out of desperation and horror (like robbery) I think most good ideas come out of an environment of comfort and safety . Like I get it , the Health Warrior Dark Chocolate Coconut Sea Salt Protein Bar was trying to warn against complacency but they did it in a dumb way . I was going to put in a derogatory comment about the CEO of Health Warrior Superfoods but when I googled it this came up ; 'Medicine Cats are Clan cats who treat diseases and injuries, and who receive directions and guidance from StarClan. They have their own den in their Clan's camp, where they sleep, store herbs, and treat wounded or sick cats. Medicine cats are not allowed to take mates or have kits. They are expected to stand apart from Clan rivalries. Medicine cats have a special way of getting their full name, including that this ceremony is performed by the apprentice's mentor instead of the Clan leader. Also, the ceremony takes place during the next half-moon meeting at their sacred Moonstone or Moonpool with the other Clans' medicine cats to cheer their new name, instead of right away in their Clan with their own Clanmates to cheer their new name. They are deeply respected by their Clanmates and few cats dare to argue with them.' So . . . . yeah . I want to say "WTF" but I'm sure if anyone ever overhears me talking about D&D I sound just as insane as that . I never saw the re-make of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory , it seems to have provoked some pretty strong reactions - which is impressive in these days of "meh" . Nevertheless that was 13 years ago now so clearly it's time to re-make it again , hopefully as a reboot to a franchise that will lead to an ongoing series on whatever replaced Netflix . I'll say Swizzlestar . Now if I've learned anything the key to a good reboot is changing everything that people liked about the original . What was great about the Original Planet of the Apes ? The Apes were civilized and had technology but the humans were dumb<b> animals </font></b>so for the remake how about they're all just the same ? Toss in Markie-Mark and boom , box office gold . What did people like about the original Wickerman ? The lack of Nick Cage . So how about we add Nick Cage ? Bam , Oscars for everyone ! So I'm thinking in this re-make instead of owning a candy manufacturing plant William W Wonka owns a banana plantation in Guatemala which is operated not by freaky little orange monsters but rather by aliens .  Which crash landed in William's backyard in 1971 - he sold their ship to the Uzbekistani mafia to fund his purchase of the banana plantation and then was nice enough to allow them to work on it . Not instead of golden tickets in order to come visit the planation you find an actual golden banana . The bad news is that when you peel it and try to bite into it you're going to be in a real periodontal situation . But the good news is that a solid gold banana is worth more than $700,000 right now so in addition to getting to visit the world famous William W Wonka Banana Plantation you've also got a good chunk of change to start a couple Burger King franchises in Pensacola . "but 40 , wouldn't a gold banana weigh like 10 pounds and thereby be easy to find ?" Ah ha ! That's why each one is fitted with an anti-gravity device reverse engineered from the alien spacecraft . The calibration will be such that they will be indistinguishable from a standard banana . Also instead of 5 dumb winning the trip it will be 5 sexy sexy ladies . So they go to the banana plantation and instead of dying (or whatever happened in the original to those dumb ) in creative ways they each try to seduce William W Wonka so they can become the heir to his banana fortune . This will involve several scenes of actual penetration but THIS IS NOT A PORN MOVIE . This will be full on PIV sex shown on screen in a standard feature film . NO ANAL !!! Anal means it's porn (IRL too FYI , look for the cameras next time you try it) Rated R , obviously .  Then the other aliens show up - and they're not interested in working in an banana planation at all . The original aliens were at war with these aliens and they were the last of their kind , and these bad guys have finally tracked them down and aim to wipe them out . William W Wonka and the 5 sexy babes have to fight them with way cool rockets and motorcycles and katanas and shit . Then in the post-credit scene maybe a little anal . Zam , Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory , highest grossing movie of all time . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Did you know bananas are more radioactive than other fruit because of the small amounts of potassium-40 in them ? I didn't . Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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I seem to have a rather large percentage of blogs that I followed that no longer seem to post or do so very rarely. Sometimes I feel there are fewer bloggers out there or something. Not sure which I would find the more disturbing. Fewer bloggers or the something. If you see me in the real world, come say "Hi Justskin." I always behave. Preferably not well. 
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Thank heavens I have bad dates now and then, otherwise you'd find my blog of zero interest. I'm all in favor of five sexy sexy ladies replacing the obnoxious children.   
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Boy, oh boy. Your blog watching criteria has become so stringent. Glad I caught you when your standards were lower. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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well thank the goddess there's a little anal You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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You're welcome to peruse my weekly joke posts (good, bad and darn right evil).
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