Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
Isn't that what life is made of ?
|
Isn't that what life is made of ? Winter isn't over yet here in America's Heartland but it's gotten warm enough that Pepito is going to be heading back north soon enough . We were hanging out the other day kind of saying goodbye and Pepito says to me he says "40 , have you ever been in love ?" And I sighed and said "Yeah I think Pepito , once" . And he asked me to tell him about it but I said "nah , I'm going to blog about it instead" so he bit me on the knee and ran away . Which is no more than I deserve hstly . This was a few back and just to set the stage I have older sisters you see and despite both of them being gainfully employed adult ladies they both still depend on my parents for and various goods and whatnot . Case in point 100% of the time over the last 14 or both of them has been "borrowing" a car from my parents . How many can you have something before it's not borrowing ? I don't know . I have a friend's power washer that's pushing that limit right now . Point is at the time of this story both my sisters were driving borrowed cars and then my brother in law's truck broke down so he was also borrowing my dad's truck . Which my parents were not happy about but of course they weren't going to say anything about it being the good repressed non-confrontational Christian Midwest family that we are but they did complain about it to me . So with his backdrop I saw my buddy Ropinirole tweet out about a contest they were having at the radio station he works for down in Meads , KY - it was of those "hands on a" whatever deals where every just has to keep in contact with a car or whatever and the last person standing wins it . In this case for a 2015 Cadillac Ealade . I've seen this a trope on the TV sitcoms but I was never sure if it was a real thing . I feel like maybe it was like a bigger deal in the 60's and 70's ? You know , before entertainment existed . I decided I'd drive down to Meads for a couple days , hang out with Ropi , and then enter this contest . I didn't figure I would win but hey , why not try ? If I get the thing then I can give it to my dad or my brother in law or whoever and defuse the whole situation . So that's what I did . When the contest started there were a couple people , possibly also working off sitcoms , they were trying to employ "strategy" . Such as guy was clearly trying to stink every else out , hadn't showered for a while and had g out of his way to funkify himself . At least I hope he did that for the contest , if that's his normal odor he's got a real problem , not that a giant truckmobile is going to fix . There was another guy that was trying to annoy people away by shouting and clapping and generally carrying on . The problem with that plan is that after about 15 minutes he was fucking gassed - sweat was pouring off him like I've never seen before . People underestimate how much energy it takes to whoop it up continuously . Those morons in the maot suit at sporting events typical have a lot of cardio power . of the rules for this deal was no phs or handheld gaming systems (also no books , I was the only who asked about that) or anything to entertain yourself with - just you sitting there touching a truck . Which makes me want to do a comparison to how long people last at these kind of contests over the . Every loves to say how no has any attention span anymore , and I think this would be a good way to gather some data on that idea . If 40 ago people were willing to spend a lot more time with their hand on a car I feel like that means something . Around the hour mark is when people really started dropping out . Did they really think they could get a free Caddy with 2 hours of boredom ? Maybe they thought they could stand a lot more time than they really could . I'd say we lost about half the crew between hours 3-4 . By the time hour rolled around it was down to just a handful . At this point I was laying on the hood/windshield like you used to do at drive-in movies back in the day and I noticed of the other people still in the contest was a lady . I think she was Samoan , or some kind of Pacific Islander - she was a big gal , and not overw big (although she was hefty too) but big big , she was easily my h and maybe a little taller and she was just built .  This is not a picture of her but it is a good representation of her body type . That's totally me on the left though . I'm not sure why but I said to her "Do you think Return of the Jedi would have been a better movie if the ewoks had been wookies ?" because people have always claimed that it was supposed to have been wookies but they decided that would be too budget intensive . Sidenote the red haired chick from Mythbuster was a small wookie in Revenge of the Sith , what have you d with your life ? To my surprise she had a lot to say on the subject . We started talking about this and that and everything under the sun . of the other dudes still in the contest kept trying to horn in on our conversations but we mostly ignored him . People talk about a "spark" or an instant connection , and I don't know if I've ever felt that for sure but if I haven't this was definitely the closest I've ever come . It's a cliché to say that I felt like I had known her for but it's the truth . It was of those things where we had literally just met but somehow it felt like we had inside jokes and other things that only we understood - little secrets from the rest of the world . We chatted for hours upon hours about topics ranging from Farape to tax reform to Southeast Asian religion to Js Soda . I don't think I've ever talked so much ever before or again , I was definitely losing my voice . In a moment of silence I realized "wow , I really like this girl" . Which is weird because I am not the sort at all that warms up to people quickly . I joke sometimes that it takes me "a few " to get used to people but it's of those jokes that's basiy true . The contest had started at ten AM and I was close to 3:30 AM the next day when we realized that we were the only left . We both started dancing around the subject of trying to come to some kind of deal and she said that she was trying to win the Ealade because she wanted to sell it to get for a culinary arts hool . She had been in the navy I believe because they would for her to get her degree but she had rewed up her back falling off a fence or something - I didn't get the whole story there . I told her I'd give her 5 grand if she let me win , which I knew was a shoddy deal , but to my surprise she took it and she did indeed let me win . We made plans to meet up later that day . After a long nap and some generally rewing around at the hotel I met her at the restaurant attached , which as a decent Mexican place . She was dressed very nicely and all lady-glamed out as you see in dates times and she looked good but not nearly as good as she looked to me when I first saw her just in shorts and a Louisville Slugger hoodie . I hadn't really brought any nice clothes (also I don't really own any nice clothes) so I felt kind of hlubby across from her but she didn't seem to mind . It was really interesting because it felt like we had already been on like 20 dates even though we had just met the day before . There was kind of a nervous energy between us though , it was like before it was all just fun and games but now it was serious you know ? Our conversation was a little more silted and somewhat awkward but after a while we loosened up and were cracking each other up with our "wit" . We stayed there way too long which we eventually figured out from the evil looks the staff was shooting out way . I said to her "I'd invite you back to my room but I'm leaving tomorrow and I . . ." she was up and said "Lets go , which room are you in ?" before I could even finish . We talked for a while in the room as well but eventually it got down the smooching and the groping . We fooled around for a while and then I said to her "What do you like ?" And she says "You don't have a toad do you ?" I asked her if that was euphemism but it was not . She explained to me that she was sexually aroused by urinating on toads . Which I have to say , freaked me out more than a little bit . Because first of all that seems like animal cruelty . Secondly she was VERY specific that it had to be a toad , not a frog , which made is extra weird for some reason . And thirdly I am not into any of that kind of stuff . I told her as much and she said ; "What if you took a Chewbacca mask . . ." "Oooh , now you're talking !" "And you shit in it ." Uh what ? I asked her if she was messing with me but she assured me that she wasn't . She was turned on by seeing guys take a dump in Chewbacca masks . I almost joked that I would look for a toad after hearing that but I was afraid she'd take me seriously . She could tell by my reaction , much as I tried to it cool , that I wasn't into that either . She said "I'm sorry , this is not really first time sex kind of stuff , I just feel like we've known each other for so long , I know something you'll like ." And she went into the bathroom and came back out a few minutes later in some very fetching black and pink lingerie . Of course the staplegun she was holding didn't really inspire my most erotic thoughts . In the end we just did it "normal" and towards the end she was having an orgasm with every thrust - I've never seen anything quite like it . It was mildly terrifying . For a brief moment I thought about staying . But I didn't , I left the next day as planned . We trade a few s and e-mails and whatnot , she even came up to visit me time , but it wasn't the same somehow , we drifted apart . I don't know if I loved her , but I could have loved her you know ? I still think about her sometimes in the lly hours of life . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
||||
|
Post script I never did get the Escalade , I never got the bottom of what happened there but I think Ropi had a small part in screwing me . I didn't pursue it too much because there was some kind of issue with the station's insurance or something and I feel like it was 90% not his fault , and I still wanted to be his friend so I didn't dig into it too much . Do you ever do that with your friends , you get the feeling that they've mildly fucked you over somehow but you don't pull on that thread because you don't really want to know ? Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
| |||
|
Urinating on toads...see, THAT’s why I’d rather find out what someone is like in bed before I’ve invested five months in dating them.  
| |||
|
Peeing on a toad, shitting in a Chewbacca mask .... I can't help but wonder how one learns that these things are arousing to one's self? Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
| |||
|
Geez.. I would have run a mile 
|
Become a member to create a blog
