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I am cleaver  

40Deuce 46M
4633 posts
9/29/2018 9:23 am

Last Read:
9/30/2018 7:27 am

I am cleaver


I had a post all ready to go in my mind about the Batman (it's been a while since I did a Bat-post) but then when I logged in things changed . On the home page I am presented with the ladies in my area who are online which is the same 8-12 people for years and years - but every now and then a new one pops in . Today is such a day . That always draws my eye , and this one was especially noteworthy because it was so obviously a "fake" . I mean there's some good looking folks on here but you can still pick out the ones that are a little too perfect you know ?

Anyway , I enjoy a good fake profile so I checked it out and the second line turned my world upside down .

"I am cleaver" it said . At that moment my life took a 90 degree turn and things will never be the same again .

"40 , clearly that's a robo-misspelling and it's supposed to read 'I am clever' you boob"

NO !

I am cleaver is what it says and what it is supposed to say .

And now I am left to ponder . What does it mean ?

Is it a reference to the John Wayne Cleaver series of books ? And if so in what way ? Is this person also saying they are a sociopath who lives up a strict code to avoid what they perceive as their fate of being a serial killer ? Sidenote the movie adaptation of "I Am Not a Serial Killer" is 92% on Rotten Tomatoes .

Is it a reference to A Perfect Circle and the song "Package" which is a desperate plea for help from someone hopeless addicted to drugs ? And if so what is that trying to tell us ? Is this person a sex addict and they're presence here is a terrible tragedy ? Or they are literally a drug addict and they're indicating they'll trade sex for drugs ?

Is it a reference to the Cleavers , the prototypical American family of Leave it to Beaver ? You know what's super<b> creepy </font></b>? Saying something like "Good evening, Mrs. Cleaver. My, that's a pretty dress." Maybe that's just me . If it is a reference to the Cleavers is it a legit thing , I'm normal and all-American like them or is it some kind of subversion ? Is the punchline that the popularity of the Cleavers is based exactly on its perceived deviation from the real world ?

"I am cleaver" is that revealing something about this persons relationship with their father ? And how it has shaped their sexual behavior ? Much idealized as the archetypal swell Dad , the day-to-day burdens of fatherhood in fact overwhelmed Ward Cleaver . Rare was the episode in which he restrained his fury over his sons' misdeeds , often imagined . Can anyone doubt , the emotional damage his rantings and unfair accusations - his emotional abuse -must have done to the boys ?

Is "I am cleaver" a declaring of surviving said abuse ?

Is this person claiming to be me old pal Jimmy "Cleaver" Lever ? Did he transition into a very striking woman and also somehow de-age himself 20 years ? If so how did he do it ? And how does the United States Naval Construction Battalion of which he was a part feel about it ?

IF you could be 20 years younger but the process also reversed your gender would you do it ?

Is it a reference to Brother Lynch Hung and his part in the creation/popularization of the genre of horrorcore ? And if so is this person proclaiming their love for the genre or decrying it's use of violence against women as a form of entertainment ? Do they feel that horrorcore does some good by raising issues of mental health ?

Sidenote it's fun to watch documentaries from other countries about America - there was a British one a few years back that talked about how horrorcore was like a dominate force in American culture when in reality 97% of people have never heard of it . I got a good chuckle out of the posh British people being shocked that this is what America has become . Fun times .

The truth is that the meaning of "I am cleaver" will never be known and cannot be known .

Connect each pair of geometric vertices of an n-dimensional hypercube to obtain a complete graph on 2n vertices . Color each of the edges of this graph either red or blue . What is the smallest value of n for which every such coloring contains at least one single-colored complete subgraph on four coplanar vertices ?

This value is the same as "I am cleaver" , the human mind cannot comprehend .

One thing is for sure though - now , I am cleaver . I have always been cleaver . I shall always be cleaver .

Are you also cleaver friend ?

Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


40Deuce 46M
5725 posts
9/29/2018 9:24 am

bat·man noun (dated) ; plural noun: batmen

def. (in the British armed forces) an officer's personal servant

Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


bitchkitty2017 71F

9/29/2018 11:41 am

So what you are saying is you are left with all the guesswork and didn't ask? only speculated and assumed? why? fuck I would have asked...give me the profile name and I don't give a hoot in any direction I will ask...It probably nothing to get up at night and holler about and I will tell her Cleaver sent me ...and hes curious as to why his name is mentioned there that outta get a bit of attention...lmao


40Deuce replies on 9/30/2018 7:29 am:
Sadly the profile was deactivated only minutes after this blogpost - I guess I should have kept my mouth shut . Sorry robot !

smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
9/29/2018 11:59 am

That's fantastic; almost as good as someone writing 'I am verry inteligent'. (or referring to themselves as 'a very stable genius'.

>>IF you could be 20 years younger but the process also reversed your gender would you do it ?

Possibly. Based on the results from that gender-changing app, I think I might be a reasonably handsome man, especially at 20 years younger. Of course there's all of the practical issues of having to replace most of my wardrobe, etc. Maybe I could become a crossdresser.


40Deuce replies on 9/30/2018 7:29 am:
Sure but man clothes are much easier/cheaper

superbjversion2 68F  
24388 posts
9/29/2018 8:00 pm

It could be Rhyming Slang so cleaver could stand for beaver ... meaning woman.

It doesn't beat the profile I read where the man was smart and articulated.

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!


40Deuce replies on 9/30/2018 7:30 am:
To be fair he presumably was articulated

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