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Boob Jobs , Brass Knuckles & Botox - a Sandra Fagina mystery
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Boob Jobs , Brass Knuckles & Botox - a Sandra Fagina mystery Chapter 11 - “Sob stories and pity are no excuses for your actions and behavior . You are responsible for your own life and you'll only be an embarrassment to yourself and a parasite to others if you don't make a change . Not everyone in the world is going to take pity on you , at some point you have to take the initiative before you're out on your own .” Harsh words ? Maybe . But one’s that had to be said . Sandra sighed as she put away her silver iPhone XS , these days it was hard to remember why she had ever married Larry – there had been good times at the beginning hadn’t there been ? She had told herself she wouldn’t get involved in Larry’s bullshit again but here she was in the middle of another investigation getting sidetracked by her ex-husband’s never-ending drama . From the passenger seat Sandra’s Gun Metal 2016 Subaru Forester 2.5i Limited with optional STARLINK 8.0-inch Multimedia Plus Anzana finished sending a text to Dickie and put her Twilight Huawei P20 Pro CLT-L29 away as well . Turning to Sandra she asked what the next move was . “There’s a connection between Hubbard and the plastic surgeon Dr. Roncevaux but not sure what it is . She could be working him just like the security guard over at Saint Mary’s or they could be in on it together . What I’ve learned working these kinds of cases over the is that if you’re not sure what’s going on the best thing to do is to follow the person you suspect the most . With a little surveillance generally they’ll lead you right to what you want to know . As far as I can tell there’s three kinds of criminals , those who want to get caught , those who know their shit and never get investigated in the first place, and then the ones we deal with – they don’t want to get caught but they’re not half as smart or as careful as they think they are . If they were we wouldn’t be on their tail in the first place . Even when they know someone is on them sooner rather than later they reveal everything .” Sandra sat back in her custom leather seat and pursed her lips slightly “It’s kind of sad really , or it would be if we weren’t talking about people doing horrible things , but your average person just isn’t that smart .” Anzana started to ask another question but she stopped before she spoke and frowned slightly , pointing she said “Isn’t that Chupa coming across the street there ?” Sandra looked . It was Chupa . Fucking Chupa with his fucking beady little rat eyes and his fucking Cosby sweater and his fucking penis-looking<b> bald </font></b>head . Sandra reached into the center console and slipped on her custom made thin cord titanium spiked “brass” knuckles . “You better get out of here Z , I don’t want you . . .” Before she could finish the passenger door flew open and Cobb grabbed her by the side of the head and the arm with his greasy meat-hook hands . She should have known this no-nuts mother fucker was in the area – he and Chupa were connected at the dick as far as she could tell . She gave him three quick shots to the ribs as she tried to yank her out of the car , the seat belt digging into her neck and starting to choke her . Anzana screamed and jumped out of the car , scurrying off with her Yeti Tocayo Everyday Backpack as fast as her little Madden Brando Footbed Sandals would carry her as Sandra and Cobb struggled . She managed to jam a spike from her knucks into his eye but with a scream of effort her yanked her out of the car – the seatbelt coming unbuckled – and tossed her hard into the sidewalk . “I to start wearing a mouth guard” Sandra thought to herself as she simultaneously consider that if the seatbelts come off that easily they wouldn’t be very helpful in a crash . She scrambled to her feet and caught an off-balance Cobb square in the chest with a hard kick but it was like kicking a bag of concrete . He caught her by the leg and grabbed her shoulder like a vise and they both fell awkwardly . Sandra managed to turn partially but she still landed painfully with the bulk of Cobb’s flabby carcass on top of her , driving the wind out of her . As she bit into Cobb’s jaw and salty blood flowed into her mouth , great now she’d have to get a tetanus shot , she flashed back to being kicked out of the self-defense class at the Y for asking how to best bite someone’s eyeball . She wondered if those classes ever did anyone any good as Cobb violently slammed his head forward , bashing her head into the pavement and making her go glassy-eyed . She didn’t release her grip though as she bit down as hard as she could she hear something cracking – his jawbone ? Her teeth ? Both ? She jabbed her knuck spikes into his neck as he got his massive bear-paw mitts around her neck . Her vision went black almost immediately as she continued to tear bloody rents across his throat . Her windpipe would be crushed in seconds so she pulled the Klein Tools Scratch Awl 7 7/8th inch with Cushion Grip she had absent-mindedly put in the pocket of her Taupe Floral Zimmerman Melody Wide Leg Pants earlier that day and drove it into Cobb’s abdominal internal oblique muscle . Fighting off the darkness washing over her she jabbed into Cobb’s side above the hip several more times and pushed her spikes against his neck desperately – his grip loosened and she was able to slither out from under him . With Cobb on his hands and knees bleeding like a virgin in a prom night hotel she slammed her knee into his forehead and immediately regretted it , the man’s head was like a bowling ball . Limping back to her compact sport utility vehicle she grabbed her Bear Guard Alaska Bear Pepper Spray 9 Ounce Can out of its Nylon Holster in the glove compartment and sprayed the entire 9 ounces into Cobb’s fat stupid face as he screamed and pawed at the air like a cat chasing a laser pointer . Once it was empty she threw the can at him out of spite and limped back to her vehicle again to grab her phone and dial 911 with bloody fingers . Not an hour later Sandra Fagina is sitting in the back of an ambulance receiving treatment eyeballing Detective Dichiera as he finished up talking to Anzana and headed her way , flipping his notebook shut . Why does he have a notebook in this day and age ? He reached her and leaned against the side of the ambulance looking her over . She croaked at him like she had lost her voice screaming at a concert . “Remind me again how do they let a Kiwi like you be an officer of the law in the United States ?” “Kiwi is what you call someone from New Zealand , from Australia . We can talk about me all you like over a cup of coffee some other day , right now we to talk about you .” “I think I broke my fucking kneecap .” “Not about your knees .” “Self-defense , pure and simple .” “Seems that way Fagina , seems that way , but let me ask you something – why do you end up in so many situations where you to defend yourself from some local chucklehead who’s been given a fistful of dollars and a bag of meth to beat your head in ?” She shrugged , then winced “Comes with the job .” “Actually it doesn’t . Most PIs never get involved in situations like this. Most PIs take people’s money and don’t do jack other than tell them what they already know . Let me save you the trouble – you’re not like most PIs – I know , and not just because of the tits . What are you working on ? That Hubbard woman ?” “You’re not as dumb as you look Dichiera .” “How could I be ? And who’s paying you to stick your nose in that pile of shit ? And let me save you the trouble again – you can’t reveal details about your customers – you know what’s not true right ? There’s no such thing as PI- confidentially .” “There is if you want to keep getting work .” “My point is if I ask you who’s paying you to investigate L Rhonda Hubbard and what she has to do with possibly supply pill mills and/or the possible sale of illegal firearms and/or the possible illegal importing of exotic animals you have to tell me .” “Are you going to ask me ?” “Not right now , my point is if I did you’d have to tell me . Just try not to kill anyone will you Fagina ?” “I make no promises officer .” “Detective actually .” “My mistake .” “Now , about that cup of coffee . . .” “Sorry detective , I have a lot on my plate right now , not sure I can squeeze in a social call .” “Isn’t that always the way . Say hi to Larry for me .” The EMTs wanted to take her to the hospital but she refused – there was no time to lose . If someone was sending the local hired muscle after her that meant that things were going to start accelerating . If she was going to figure out what Hubbard was into she had to act quickly . Sitting gingerly in her car , she thought she might have a bruised tailbone , she took to her phone once more . Time for a call to Abdullah . “Abby , what’s up , I a favor . . . . yeah I do only call when I a favor because we’re not friends . . . . well sure 50 bucks will make your feelings feel better . . . . a hundred ? No fucking way you fat fuck . . . . no . . . . no . . . . how about 75 bucks and a date with my sister ? What do you think ? Our father ran out on us when she was 8 , she has abandonment issues – of course she’ll put out . That is assuming you can even find your joint underneath all that flab . . . don’t be gross . . . . uh-huh . . . . right . . . . have Marks and Ridley meet me at the Redeye in 20 . . . yeah . . . yeah . . . I said I would didn’t I ? Great , you’re a prince among men Abby . . . . a fat prince but still . . .” She hung up and took a deep breath , pain stabbing at her probably cracked ribs . “Why do I do this ?” She said to no one . But she already knew the answer . Doing something is better than doing nothing , even if what you’re doing isn’t the right thing for you . If you fall at least you’re still moving forward . She used the keyless ignition to start her vehicle and headed towards Anzana’s apartment . She was a good , time for her to start earning her keep . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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I wonder if this post will be denied for violence , the FriendFinder-x-bots are pretty inconsistent about that Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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Everything is inconsistent on FriendFinder-x. 
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Excellent product placement 👍  
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It's this type of writing that got me hooked on your blog in the beginning. Not porn. Not Batman. Not wrestling. Phrases like "bleeding like a virgin in a prom night hotel" and (my personal all time favorite) "Robert is your mother's brother." Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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