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| Blogs > shysexual_MTgirl > Sexual desires, thoughts & ?s |
6 weeks...give or take...
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6 weeks...give or take... I was recently talking to a friend about my mood as of late. I've been extra sensitive, crabby and mopey the last couple of weeks. It always seems to hit mid January and lasts thru February. I didn't really notice it, but friends did. By March I'm back to my same bubbly self, usually. What I realized while talking to this friend is WHY I get this way at this time. It's not that it's after the holidays, though that may be part of it. But February is a pretty bad month for me. I've lost a lot of good people in my life, in February. One of my favorite people in the world - my grandmother. I also lost my best friend - everyone she met was considered friend. There are a few more, but those two are the important ones. And then last night I learned of another friend dying in a car accident. Sometimes I just wish I could sleep thru these 2 months. Ignore them, ignore the loss, even though I know that's just not possible. Now that my eyes have been opened, I've been trying to be a little better about not wearing all of my emotions on my<b> sleeve. </font></b>Trying not to subject everyone around me to my personal sadness these two months tend to bring. I've decided to accept that it was their time, whether they were young or had lived a "full life." So, if you've come into contact with me and I've been somewhat distant or confrontational (like trying to pick a fight or argue), please accept my apology. I'm going thru a rough time and have no right or reason to take it out on you. I'm opening myself up, and I hope you will be extra understanding with me. I don't mean to snap at you or pick fights. I'm just looking for some sort of release. it's not personal, and again if you've experienced this, I'm sorry. Thanks for reading.  |
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So, I reached out to a few of the people who I believe I may have been "not myself" with...basically an over sensitive, crab. I emailed them and apologized. I don't know if it's enough for them to forgive my attitude, but I did what I could. I hope they accept the olive branch I extended, and maybe we can be friends. If not, I understand. I am usually pretty bad about apologizing because I am so embarrassed about the way I acted. I haven't heard back from any of them, and maybe I won't. I can only wish them well. It's a good thing today was Monday. I had kind of a rough day and was a bit pissed off at the world for a little while. But it was my day off, so I was able to stay home and write, clean, cook...anything to get my thoughts straight. I will say that the 14th (*and not because it's valentine's day) is a pretty bad day and then the 22nd. Thankfully, I have both of those days off, so I can spend the day alone if need be. I'm hoping that getting together with a bunch of friends a day or two before all those dates will help cheer me up. That cute bartender that friended me on FB always makes me smile. Actually, the entire staff where this party will be held always treats me so wonderfully. So, I'll discover if surrounding myself with great friends will have a positive affect or if I'm going to be doing some apologizing. Hopefully the first one.  And wouldn't you know..."Apologize" by One Republic just played on my Pandora radio...hmmm. How should I take that?? lol
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I've been better since figuring out why I've been so owlie. I feel really bad about anyone I had attitude with...unless it was deserved. Lol
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sending you my best... february isn't my best month for the same reasons... i plan on being drunk out of my mind saturday its the one year of my best friend who died last year at 41 years old... leaving 3 children without a mom.  i feel you... wholeheartedlymeow ~~kitty~~kat~~gal~~
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