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The Power Exchange
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The Power Exchange The Power Exchange alexus When I stand before you naked in the firelight a molten display of flesh and female, I wear chains There could be no question, who has the power? My skin is gleaming gold my eyes bright my body sleek and long I am sex embodied in a woman When I hear you gasp the first time your eyes touch upon this sight, who has the power? When I kneel to you, and crawl in chains like a starving woman across the floor to beg you, red hair wild, and green eyes flashing who has the power? When you chain me stretched taut and stand back to survey all you own you smile Your whip is red-hot and there is nothing but you and I and the pain, my tears fall my screams slash your soul who has the power? When my crying eyes look up to you from the floor you drop the whip I cannot get up and you must carry me our eyes meet and your heart is filled with me I am weak and your need is strong who has the power now? ************************* Abuse vs Erotic Power Exchange by The National Leather Association, The Dutch BDSM Media Information Center and The POWERotics Foundation (reprinted with permission) Although discriminatory legislation sometimes likes to let you believe otherwise, there are fundamental differences between erotic power exchange and domestic violence (abuse). Erotic power exchange should always be based on the VICSS-concept. Anything else is abuse. What is VICSS? Voluntary: all partners involved in erotic power exchange activity of whatever nature should decide to do so of their own free will and choice and without any force applied. Sometimes the element of "force" may be hidden. Such can be the case if either of the parties faces (or fears to be faced with) economical or social repercussions if he or she does not go along with what the other partner(s) wants. This may be the case for example if colleagues at work enter into EPE-activities or within a marriage. If either of the partners feels forced, for whatever reason, the situation is non-voluntary. Informed: all partners involved in erotic power exchange should base their decision to do so on correct information and should be able to judge the situation and possible consequences. A simple "yes" often is not enough, especially in cases where it is doubtful whether the person saying "yes" does not or can not know what the implications are or can be. Consentual: all partners involved should agree to what is going to happen or happening and should have the possibility to evaluate previous decisions in the event they are faced with emotions, reactions or information they feel is of importance to their situation. Sane: decisions with respect to erotic power exchange activities should be made when all partners involved are of a clear mind. Consent as a result of the use of drugs, alcohol or the rush or the situation is not consent. Safe: erotic power exchange activities should be safe, both physically and mentally and in the event physical or mental risks are taken - for example in an<b> edge play </font></b>situation - people should be well informed about the possible risks, implications and repercussions. Moral or ethical code Although the majority of the people, involved in erotic power exchange, usually have very high moral and ethical standards there is no standard moral or ethical code when it comes to erotic power exchange. Since EPE is such a personal and intimate activity it is questionable if such a moral code can be produced at all. This means that people who are into erotic power exchange activities very much depend on their own judgment, often without references. Seeking advice is difficult, since it may be very hard to find a reliable source - in general terms as well as with respect to your own personal situation. However, there are some general rules of thumb to go by when evaluating your personal position or a situation you are about to enter: Respect: Any erotic power exchange relationship should be based on mutual respect. In the event you have doubts about this, it is very likely there is something wrong. Communication: Communication is paramount when it comes to erotic power exchange. Communication is a two way street. If you feel your arguments, feelings and thoughts are disregarded you have stumbled on another warning signal. Relationship: In general - disregarding incidental kick-seeking - erotic power exchange can only flourish within a sound and solid relationship. Dominance and ego: Dominance is not male chauvinism. Although it is sometimes very hard to draw the lines in individual cases, ego trips are out of the question when it comes to erotic power exchange. It is a mistake to think only the submissive can be "persuaded" into something s/he does not want. It happens to dominants as well and submissives can sometimes be very persistent and manipulative.  |
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