Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > DragonWycke > The Dragon's Lair |
Is BDSM Sexually Deviant Behaviour
|
Is BDSM Sexually Deviant Behaviour By M.Chelle After reading a recent article that was sent to me over the Internet, I became quite irritated at the allegations of those who choose to be in the BDSM Lifestyle as being “sexually deviant” and a menace to society. In all honesty, there are so many things wrong with this concept; it’s next to mind boggling. People all over the World embrace the BDSM lifestyle for a number of different reasons. The reasons can range from a need to either submit or to be dominant- to needing to fulfill a need and desire to practice and enjoy a kink or a fetish. Unfortunately, what a vast majority of people do not understand- is the fact that kinks, fetishes,<b> lifestyles </font></b>and sexual desires Do Not include people who do not share the same interests. It would defeat the purpose to try to practice and enjoy a kink or a fetish with someone who would not be able to return your joy in pursuing the same thing- in all honesty; it would be rather frustrating and take all the fun out of your interest. Think of it this way: How many of you have been in a room filled with people who are discussing a topic you have no interest in. You want to talk about the theatre and art while the rest of them are happy talking about NASCAR and wrestling. Does it mean there is anything wrong with either topic of discussion? No, of course not. Anything people can enjoy and share discussion about is a marvelous thing and keeps up the communication among friends. However, the situation of being in a room where the people are not discussing your particular interest would quite possibly be enough to make you leave or seek and find someone who does have the same interests in order to hold a conversation that would satiate both of your needs. That being said, it is the same thing with people within the BDSM lifestyle. People within the lifestyle have no desire to pull some unsuspecting person off the street and drag them off forcing them to partake in activities only they would find appealing. Again, it would defeat the purpose of finding people with common interests. A time, a scene, a fantasy or a desire that could be fulfilled by someone with similar interests cannot be fulfilled by those who don’t. It’s a simple and quite elementary concept and idea that should be looked into before thinking that we prey on anyone we can “capture.” I honestly feel that this type of intolerance is brought about by one thing and one thing only: Ignorance. Sadly enough, in our society today, it’s an epidemic that eats away at people at the same rate the “Black Plague” did so many years ago. We have vaccinations and treatments for illness- unfortunately; scientists have yet to find a cure for ignorance, which, in my opinion- considering the fact we are so overrun by it, would be a very worthwhile study to fund. Whenever I read that people were being prosecuted for their preference in consensual sexuality, I immediately was reminded of the Salem Witch Trials. The similarities are ludicrously vast, if you put it all into context. People did not understand witchcraft, just as people do not understand BDSM. Witches were sentenced and labeled as a menace, insane, and deviant just as those who practice BDSM. Am I the only one seeing a trend here? The sad fact of the matter is- people who practice this lifestyle are honestly some of the most tolerant, intelligent, and respectful people I have ever met. Allow me to ask you a question. When was the last time you heard a man on the street call a woman a “Lady” and it didn’t have a sarcastic undertone? For example: “Listen Lady, I don’t have time for this!” Or perhaps “You’re SUCH a Lady- yeah right.” I am quite willing to bet, it’s been a very long time. Same as watching a man truly stand up for their wife when she is met with opposition- this without all the macho BS of “I’ll beat you up if you say that again.” With their chests puffed out looking like a pigeon that is about to pop. Words like these are stated and yet very rarely hold the true definition of the words spoken. I have been married for a very long time- and although my husband is a wonderful and dear man, I have never been treated as much like a lady as I have by the people in this lifestyle. I am a switch. For those of you who don’t understand that- that means I am both a Dominant and a submissive. I have been treated like a Lady no matter which side I happen to be representing. Master calls me “His Lady” constantly and you know, the thing is- when he says it- I truly believe him; simply because he follows it with actions and words that show he means it. It’s not an open-ended phrase that means nothing. It’s a true statement he believes in his heart and mind and one he is not afraid to show or display, if you will. If met with opposition, he is the first one to offer his assistance to help me out of the situation. Being the person I am, I rarely need the backup, but, I can assure you; just knowing it’s there if I need it means the Earth, Moon and stars to me. Does this type of behavior show deviance to you? Does his treating me with respect, asking me for my limits and adhering to them, or holding me when I have had a tough day show anything but true, honest and utter respect and devotion. Right here and now, I will make a confession. The first time I was approached by someone in the lifestyle and asked to write a story about it- I didn’t know what to say. I had no idea about the true concepts, ideas and philosophies behind it all and quite honestly, it scared me to death. I suffered from the same ignorance I discussed earlier. The difference, I am happy to say, was when I started researching, asking questions and getting answers that helped me to understand it better. After only a few days of reading countless articles and talking to friends who embraced BDSM as part of their lifestyle, I found myself able to understand it and found my levels of intrigue and tolerance building. The last thing I have ever wanted to be labeled as is a bigot, or as being intolerant, or ignorant about anything. I am an intelligent and educated woman. I have an innate ability to realize when I don’t understand something and I have a deep-rooted desire from within myself to nip that ignorance in the bud and do something about it. I have never been satisfied with accepting that I don’t know something. I go out and find the answers and personally, I feel that it is the responsibility of each and every one of us to do the same, regardless of the topic. There are a number of ways you can find out more about any given subject; BDSM is most definitely included. I think that if people would take five minutes and find someone within the lifestyle and ask him or her some questions, they would be shocked at all of the information they would find. We don’t expect an entire World of people to come forth and embrace the lifestyle as their own, it’s not for everyone; however, we, as a whole, are more than willing to answer your questions to give you a better understanding of what you are seeing, thinking and feeling about something you don’t understand. I have used the word ignorance a number of times in this article and I feel it necessary to differentiate between stupidity and ignorance. Ignorance, is not knowing anything about a subject- possibly passing judgment on it- but, not always. Ignorance can be abolished by educating yourself and seeing things as they truly are and not how they are perceived to be. Stupidity is having the ability and the resources to go forth and get this information to make yourself a better person by simply being educated and therefore tolerant of something you didn’t understand and yet- ignoring it and pressing forth in your intolerant, uneducated and prosecuting ways. Ignorance can be cured; stupidity can be terminal. So, in getting back to the original question, is BDSM deviant behavior? Well, let me ask you this- Is Catholicism deviant because you don’t believe in it? Or is Yoga deviant because you can’t bend your body like a pretzel? Is reading Green Eggs and Ham deviant because you can’t get past the rhymes and tongue-twisting words? Is drinking milk deviant because you have an allergy to it? I would assume your answer to these questions is: “No”. I would have to agree. None of the things listed are above are deviant. They are preferences, ways of life, beliefs and needs to make you complete. None of the above things will cause you to be classified as insane or a menace. None of the things above will cause people to cross the street and walk a mile out of their way to avoid you. And, none of these things would make you appear as beastly or animalistic. You have the freedom to pursue these things or to leave them by the wayside, if you choose to do so- without recourse from society. You have the right to make comparisons and decide if they are for you before you decide once and for all, if they would complete you and make you more into the person you want and need to be. BDSM is a lifestyle; it is a way of feeling complete. BDSM is not always violent. BDSM is not for everyone. BDSM is a choice and is pursued Safely, Sanely and Consensually by adults who share the same interests. BDSM is NOT a precursor to deviance, menacing acts, or insanity. It’s a lifestyle filled with people who are just like anyone else. These people wake in the morning, go to work, enjoy a nice day, and they are people who possess a heart, mind, body and soul- just like anyone else. How they fulfill all aspects of themselves is not for anyone to decide but him/herself. Remove your anteriors from your posteriors, do a little thinking on your own and don’t think that because you see something one way, it’s the only way it can be perceived or defined. M.Chelle  |
Become a member to create a blog
