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A Small Sexual Indiscretion
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A Small Sexual Indiscretion Nothing that follows is made up It was a rainy day in London. It had been hot, but after a shower the streets had that steamy, wet dust smell that only city dwellers know. I was on the way home from work and to protect myself from the showers I had brought with me a standard issue black umbrella with a curved walking stick handle. It had been a good day, I can't remember why. Maybe I had been having lunch with the Lioness or something, I can't remember. But I do remember that I had been twirling and waving my furled umbrella in happy relaxation on my way into Oxford Circus tube station to get the Bakerloo Line to Paddington. I'd gone through the ticket machines and was approaching the top of the escalators when I saw a vision in front of me. A crisp cotton shirt above skin tight<b> denim </font></b>jeans housing one of the most shapely bums I had ever seen. I mean a KylieJ-loAngelina-insert-your-idea-of-the-perfect-figure-here gorgeous sexy bum. Walking away from me, heading for the same escalator. Bear in mind I love legs, faces, necks, breasts and even bare feet, but bottoms don't normally do it for me, so this must really have been something special. I admit I stared. In fact, lets be honest, I was fixated. I didn't realise how close I was getting, and suddenly, as she stepped onto the escalator and stopped walking, I was too close. I must have been still twirling the umbrella, a motion which also involved a kind of upward waggle and jousting sort of a forward lunge, completely absent mindedly. Because, almost as if I had intended to do so, and with an accuracy so unerring I could not possibly have done it if I had tried, I walked onto the descending escalator behind this girl and jabbed her with my brolly, right smack in the middle of her left buttock. It was a pretty firm jab with a good deal of wrist behind it, and it sank satisfyingly into her perfect flesh as well. As soon as I connected I knew I was in trouble. A momentary vision of transport police, assault charges and a night in the cells flashed across my panic stricken mind. She turned, her face a portrait of furious indignation. It was at that point that Dreamer came to my rescue. For all I know he was born in that moment. My hand flew to my face in horror, but the expression it vainly tried to hide was his smile. I just couldn’t help it, it was so funny. Even as I mentally turned and ran for it, he spoke, laughing. "Oh my god, I am So Sorry! That was absolutely completely an accident; I am such an idiot! I was just happily enjoying the day, and then you distracted my attention and I just forgot the umbrella was in my hand." Even Dreamer couldn't keep that up. I stopped speaking and looked at her face, half smiling, half horrified. She looked back at me, and for a surreal moment we stood still as the escalator carried us downwards in unison towards the tunnels. Then she grinned and said, "Hmmm, you are a very lucky man, I forgive you.....But you really ought to be more careful," she added with a laugh. Then she turned and walked off down the escalator. I often wonder what would have happened if I had asked her for her phone number, but Dreamer was young and even he wasn't quite that brazen yet. I can't remember what her face looked like, but I will always remember her bum. |
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I would have recognised her if I had seen her again in the next few days.....It would be nice to think she is still telling the same story, about when some guy jabbed her in the bum with his umbrella!
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Kind of you to say 'nic
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And you didn't mention that your umbrella wanted to take her for a drink that night? With you as chaperone of course.  Peace & Rumors are to keep early Sept free...
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