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The Lesbian Writes More
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The Lesbian Writes More A Lesbian Writes More: "Often a woman won't initiate because she does not want to be a "slut". That is what I meant earlier when I said women can be afraid of the label. If we are submissive by nature we often don't like to admit it, and are afraid to be the aggressor. I think many women are sexually frustrated because they can not come to terms with this. Perhaps one reason the Cougar exists is because of this. These women are able to get a guy that is all about sex, but she does not give up the power because she is older. And she does not worry about the slut label because the horny young cub is always ready anyway. Ironically, if they just allowed themselves that same vulnerability with their husband, they would not need the cub in the first place. I have heard on more than one occasion that if they were more comfortable with how they feel about their own bodies, they would probably have experimented at least once with another girl. Part of that is because we women are extremely unkind to each other. Men don't realize this, but when we get dressed, we are not thinking about attracting men, we are thinking about how other women will view us. So I think women take this hang up with them into their traditional male / female relationship. Part of that is the thought; "how can he find me sexy when I am not?" and the other is that constant thinking about "how I look" that keeps them from being 100% comfortable in the moment. The majority of the Women who post naughty pics, are not exactly the traditional "swimsuit model" type. Yet, within the comfy confines of an anonymous world, with their head chopped off, there they are posting themselves for all the world to see. And, even more interesting is all the positive and salacious comments they get from Men. The reverse of reality exists, because anonymity allows both parties to be themselves. The Women get to be the sexual creatures they want to be and the Men get to be attracted by what really turns them on... a confident Woman. If only we could all be that way in our real lives! You know that whole book and theory of "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars"? Well, I think that is bunk! We are from the same planet, we just are afraid to talk to each other in any real way. Neither sex is all that hard to understand, we are essentially the same. But again, that fear of rejection, that fear of being thought as a freak. Those emotions cripple us. But, when you see those who "get it", WOW, how amazing they are." The point she makes about Cougars is an interesting one. No sooner has society in general made progress towards reducing sexual double standards, than we have invented a new one. I have read several accounts by women celebrating their ability to seduce younger men. Fair enough, why not? If both are loving it then great. But as an older guy, you daren't say anything that makes those same women think you are not interested in them because you are lusting after someone younger! For some reason this is starting to be viewed as almost morally wrong, insensitive, just plain caddish. Why is that? (Of course in both cases, I can see the problem if you are using your more experienced worldliness to take advantage of someone immature whose emotional well being may be damaged, as if it means nothing to you.......but I am talking about grown up adult relationships here. ) |
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gosh, who IS this Lesbian??!!! tbh, i know nothing about 'cougars'. It wasnt' even till a few months ago that i figured out what it meant, that has nothing to do with the animal. lol =) But, i have definitely noticed the double standard. I guess there are only female cougars? and also - what if the younger guy is just trying to see if he can seduce an older woman, so he can boast about it? and he's not really interested in her, she's just a conquest to him, a sort of trophy. i say... if your pup isn't an underage teenager, then, all is good. As for myself, i always considered younger men - even those younger by just a month or so... to be little brothers... and couldn't see them in a romantic or sexual way. Until one man broke my walls. Now i'm a mess, have to go back to the drawing board and figure myself out again. lol  so - i just looked it up. Cougars are also the same as pumas and mountain lions and panthers... and they have 40 names in English alone! BUT... no one thought to name the female one thing, and the male another! WHY????????????????????????  at any rate, we can fix the problem... how about Panther for the male? sounds kind of male-ish. and it reminds me of the Pink Panther, which i like very much!  (ps - i'm talking about the animal...) lol =)--Author Unknown
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Really well put H - my lesbian friend would rather like you I think. Maybe we'd better not tell E, she might get all jealous. The term "mother" (which I had not heard ) sounds horrible in every posible way. And of course if an older women was preying on vulnerable younger girls (or if a young woman was taking an older one for a ride ) it might be justified, if still tastless. But surely in many cases an older woman with a younger woman (like E and you, lol, ) could be a perfectly simple case of normal mutual attraction. Or is she your "mother"??????? Joking aside, it's great to get a comment from you, do come back whenever you have time, and say hello to E for me when you speak to her next. If you ever wake up for long enough.
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gosh, who IS this Lesbian??!!! tbh, i know nothing about 'cougars'. It wasnt' even till a few months ago that i figured out what it meant, that has nothing to do with the animal. lol =) But, i have definitely noticed the double standard. I guess there are only female cougars? and also - what if the younger guy is just trying to see if he can seduce an older woman, so he can boast about it? and he's not really interested in her, she's just a conquest to him, a sort of trophy. i say... if your pup isn't an underage teenager, then, all is good. As for myself, i always considered younger men - even those younger by just a month or so... to be little brothers... and couldn't see them in a romantic or sexual way. Until one man broke my walls. Now i'm a mess, have to go back to the drawing board and figure myself out again. lol so - i just looked it up. Cougars are also the same as pumas and mountain lions and panthers... and they have 40 names in English alone! BUT... no one thought to name the female one thing, and the male another! WHY???????????????????????? at any rate, we can fix the problem... how about Panther for the male? sounds kind of male-ish. and it reminds me of the Pink Panther, which i like very much! (ps - i'm talking about the animal...) lol =)Panther sounds quite sexy in a dangerous sort of way. But I have a feeling somewhere in the back of my mind that it already has a meaning ascribed to it.....something to do with older women again, but I can't remember what. If it did apply to men then I hate to admit it but I have been rather "panther stalking" a youngish woman recently. I'm not quite ready to pounce yet though - in fact I never would; I really need my prey to offer themselves willingly, and I think she's, thankfully, oblivious to my desires lol.
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Interesting reading. I do object to the oft-repeated idea that women dress for other women, though. I hear people say this all the time - "women don't dress to attract men, they dress to impress other women". I don't know how it is for all women, but for me personally that's a load of BS. But then I have a tendency to dress like I'm going to a garden party. Women just kind of look at me oddly. Do not seek an external refuge, but be a light unto yourself. "Be the change you want to see." HalfNekkid Wednesday Peekaboo
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Probably for the same reason women are deemed cougars if they sleep with guys just a few years younger than them. Look up the term: some definitions say she's a cougar if she sleeps with any younger men, another says 10 years younger, still another 20 years younger. And at 52, the fact that I'm dating a 44 year-old man caused a few friends to squeal, "Oooh, you're a cougar." That's ridiculous- I date men in my age range - 10 years either way. The perceptions in society haven't changed all that much in the last several centuries. Elevate me... 
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Interesting reading. I do object to the oft-repeated idea that women dress for other women, though. I hear people say this all the time - "women don't dress to attract men, they dress to impress other women". I don't know how it is for all women, but for me personally that's a load of BS. But then I have a tendency to dress like I'm going to a garden party. Women just kind of look at me oddly. It's also something you only ever hear women say. Maybe sometimes it is true, but clearly there are lots of women who dress for all kinds of different reasons - for themselves, for general effect, for warmth, for garden parties, and maybe sometimes, even to attract men!
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Probably for the same reason women are deemed cougars if they sleep with guys just a few years younger than them. Look up the term: some definitions say she's a cougar if she sleeps with any younger men, another says 10 years younger, still another 20 years younger. And at 52, the fact that I'm dating a 44 year-old man caused a few friends to squeal, "Oooh, you're a cougar." That's ridiculous- I date men in my age range - 10 years either way. The perceptions in society haven't changed all that much in the last several centuries. But you are right, disapproval of age differences (of whatever amount and in whatever direction ) between informed consenting adults is ridiculous - and I think it is usually because people are scared of or jealous of anything they either want and can't get, or can't quite understand.
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She mostly talks a lot of sense I think, and seems to be becoming a good friend. Panther sounds quite sexy in a dangerous sort of way. But I have a feeling somewhere in the back of my mind that it already has a meaning ascribed to it.....something to do with older women again, but I can't remember what. If it did apply to men then I hate to admit it but I have been rather "panther stalking" a youngish woman recently. I'm not quite ready to pounce yet though - in fact I never would; I really need my prey to offer themselves willingly, and I think she's, thankfully, oblivious to my desires lol. So, what's the range for you? Why don't you want her to know that you're interested in her? If she is oblivious to your desires... then how can she offer herself to you? Maybe she needs to know just a tiny bit... --Author Unknown
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