Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > hotdreamer1000 > While I was Dreaming |
Only Fools and Angels
|
Only Fools and Angels Looking for the perfect person is a lot more dangerous than you think. I’m not arguing with the people who say they want the real thing, that they don’t want to “settle” for second best. But leaving aside the view that actually, there is no such thing as the perfect relationship, the fact remains that the more perfect the person you fall for, the worse it feels if it all falls apart. Real "true love" carries an almost unbearable burden. The knowledge that by loving this person, we put ourselves in an extraordinarily vulnerable position. Sometimes the person you love changes, or turns out not to be quite who you thought they were. Or you change. Or, even if the love never changes, people can be unexpectedly taken from you by illness or accident. The greater the love, the harder its loss is to bear, the more ways in which you will never be quite the same again. Thankfully, we are all born ignorant of - and for a time remain capable of ignoring - the potential cost of really loving someone. Some people become less able to face it as they accumulate what is often euphemistically called "baggage. " Others soldier on, forever hopeful, perhaps not even noticing if they have become slower to take risks with their feelings. Some, a brave and wonderful few, stay young at heart. Setbacks never phase them, however much they hurt. They have the faith to take the risk again, whatever the potential cost. The most dangerous thing of all is the knowledge that sometimes love works out. Some couples really do live happily ever after. Most of us believe that whether it lasts or goes wrong, being in love is usually worth it, and we secretly harbour the hope that maybe this time, (or next time, ) this will be the one that lasts forever. Sometimes we come into contact with a person so in tune with us that our sub-conscious convinces us that here at last is the one within whose love we will be forever safe........and, (like fools, or like angels? ) we rush in and take the greatest risk of all. Or maybe we are looking for that kind of safety in the wrong place? Some people say that this is the most persuasive argument for belief in the existence of God, that being in whose love we will be forever safe? |
|||
|
I have found love that lasts a couple of times....one I ran away from but deep down I still love him and one I lost to death....I think I am too set in my ways now to want another....or maybe just too afraid to take the risk of being hurt.  ~~Anais Nin~~
| ||
|
"Sometimes we come into contact with a person so in tune with us that our sub-conscious convinces us that here at last is the one within whose love we will be forever safe........and, (like fools, or like angels? ) we rush in and take the greatest risk of all." I think this is a great line. It wasn't until I met the man that my last real post was about that I would have even considered marrying again. Up until that moment (or that week we spent together), I wanted to keep my space but have a mate that was never more than a boyfriend...sort of perpetually date. It wasn't until I experienced the bliss that came from someone that truly aligned with how I function (a compatibility on every level I've never seen before) that I realized that maybe sharing space with a man again would really be something that I could want again. It's certainly something I want to explore. And people do change over time, but I've always seen marriage as a path that is traveled together. Whatever challenges may come, they are not his or mine alone but ours to figure out together for the benefit of us as a unit...not for one of us singly. That's what I've always thought of marriage to be. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one that thinks that way anymore.
| ||
|
I'm in a new relationship. I'm trying hard not to fall in love with him, as I don't want to be hurt again, but I'm finding it hard not to. We get on so well together, and have so much in common, so no matter how hard I try not to fall in love with him, slowly the barrier is crumbling. 
| ||
|
I'm in a new relationship. I'm trying hard not to fall in love with him, as I don't want to be hurt again, but I'm finding it hard not to. We get on so well together, and have so much in common, so no matter how hard I try not to fall in love with him, slowly the barrier is crumbling.
| ||
|
I have found love that lasts a couple of times....one I ran away from but deep down I still love him and one I lost to death....I think I am too set in my ways now to want another....or maybe just too afraid to take the risk of being hurt. I felt sad after I had watched the last ever episode of Seinfeld. And again after "How I met Your Mother " ended, but I am still glad I watched them while they lasted!
| ||
|
One of the brave few. I salute you and wish you good success!
| ||
|
"Sometimes we come into contact with a person so in tune with us that our sub-conscious convinces us that here at last is the one within whose love we will be forever safe........and, (like fools, or like angels? ) we rush in and take the greatest risk of all." I think this is a great line. It wasn't until I met the man that my last real post was about that I would have even considered marrying again. Up until that moment (or that week we spent together), I wanted to keep my space but have a mate that was never more than a boyfriend...sort of perpetually date. It wasn't until I experienced the bliss that came from someone that truly aligned with how I function (a compatibility on every level I've never seen before) that I realized that maybe sharing space with a man again would really be something that I could want again. It's certainly something I want to explore. And people do change over time, but I've always seen marriage as a path that is traveled together. Whatever challenges may come, they are not his or mine alone but ours to figure out together for the benefit of us as a unit...not for one of us singly. That's what I've always thought of marriage to be. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one that thinks that way anymore. Actually, I think a lot of people nowadays get married because they think it is one way of making sure their partner will never leave them. Or worse still, they think it will help them to be faithful themselves! Frankly, I think that is stupid. I think commitment is about what you mean to each other, not what you promise. Promises get broken, but if you carry on loving - then you will carry on loving!
| ||
|
At no point did I ever say or mean "get an ugly girl to marry you, " lol. In fact as I recall, looks were never mentioned. Neither did I mean get someone you don't really care about to marry you either!!! You know what I meant, lol. Meanwhile, I celebrate your beautiful relationship and I truly hope it lasts you both a long long lifetime. But I also love the way you cherish every moment, whether just for now or for forever.
| ||
|
Beautifully put Pash!
| ||
|
hmmm while I have felt I had found love, I appear to have been wrong at all times,..I have always jumped in headlong headless of the potential for hurt,...I am actually holding myself in check from investing too much of myself at the moment,...a position that is very foreign to me, and very difficult though I think I have found a way to tap dance along the edge for awhile,...I have seen the "value" in the past of being the person who loves least,...as having typically been the person who loved the most provide to be extrememly painful,...the difficulty is if I can't fling myself into it and give myself to it completely I lose interest, I'm not good at half measures even in an effort of self preservation,...so time will tell if I can tap dance for long,..if I fall off the edge or simply walk off the stage in search of something more,.. Good girls go to heaven,....Bad girls go EVERYWHERE! I love to travel Come visit my blog tigger678902
| ||
|
hmmm while I have felt I had found love, I appear to have been wrong at all times,..I have always jumped in headlong headless of the potential for hurt,...I am actually holding myself in check from investing too much of myself at the moment,...a position that is very foreign to me, and very difficult though I think I have found a way to tap dance along the edge for awhile,...I have seen the "value" in the past of being the person who loves least,...as having typically been the person who loved the most provide to be extrememly painful,...the difficulty is if I can't fling myself into it and give myself to it completely I lose interest, I'm not good at half measures even in an effort of self preservation,...so time will tell if I can tap dance for long,..if I fall off the edge or simply walk off the stage in search of something more,.. But personally I have never seen the point in worrying about who loves more or who loves less. Mostly that varies throughout a relationship anyway, unless one of the partners is deliberately taking the other for a ride. Sometimes I may have to make a choice about what to do.......but not about how I feel. If I love someone then I love them, and if I don't I don't. When loving someone coincides with them loving me then halleluiah!
| ||
|
I agree, although I can't blame the movies in my case. The first films I saw, aged eight or nine were Bluebeard's Ghost and Those Magnificent men in their Flying Machines,and the third, if memory serves me, The Heroes of Telemark, aged about twelve. (My family were not great movie goers! From what I can gather most English girls spend half their lives looking for Mr Darcy.
| ||
|
I was thinking about the meaning of marriage/ commitment, and such. and I wondered why is it necessary? you never make an official commitment with your closest friends, and yet, you just know that they're there for you, always. you don't have ceremonies and vows and bits of metal to prove your friendship... you just build it together. so... what does a marriage ceremony do? what does an engagement ring accomplish? it seemed to me, unless the commitment grows out of the heart, these external signs of commitment simply turn into a prison. I haven't figured out if it has any benefits, if it goes right. As for falling in love, I do it a lot.. it's about the only exercise that I get. what I dont' know is, if anyone has ever fallen in love with me. lol  I'd really like to know what that feels like... it's sort of my secret, background wish, it flickers and dies a lot, and then I start to wonder again... sort of like that birthday candle they used to have that can't get snuffed out... lol guess I'm just a fool. I do know what it feels like to be loved by my kids, my dog, and my friends. you'd think I'd just be satisfied and get on with my life, instead of harboring secret desires. --Author Unknown
| ||
|
I was thinking about the meaning of marriage/ commitment, and such. and I wondered why is it necessary? you never make an official commitment with your closest friends, and yet, you just know that they're there for you, always. you don't have ceremonies and vows and bits of metal to prove your friendship... you just build it together. so... what does a marriage ceremony do? what does an engagement ring accomplish? it seemed to me, unless the commitment grows out of the heart, these external signs of commitment simply turn into a prison. I haven't figured out if it has any benefits, if it goes right. As for falling in love, I do it a lot.. it's about the only exercise that I get. what I dont' know is, if anyone has ever fallen in love with me. lol I'd really like to know what that feels like... it's sort of my secret, background wish, it flickers and dies a lot, and then I start to wonder again... sort of like that birthday candle they used to have that can't get snuffed out... lol guess I'm just a fool. I do know what it feels like to be loved by my kids, my dog, and my friends. you'd think I'd just be satisfied and get on with my life, instead of harboring secret desires. Heavens V, no one in the world would ever think you are a fool for wanting to know what it feels like to have someone fall in love with you. It's like.......oh blimey, I will have to think hard about how to put that into words! Even harder than how not to be upset by world events!
| ||
|
yes, i did see your reply to MyNameisKay's comment! and i freaked out, because it was so similar to my thoughts... so i had to write down what my thoughts were, so i'd know i wasn't imagining things... lol maybe, some things are just communicated best without words? idk. --Author Unknown
| ||
|
Interesting... I never considered 'young at heart' as having to do with being willing to take romantic risks. I'm not looking for perfection - I think it would be boring. I'd like someone who loved me because of my quirks rather than despite them, and I'd feel the same about him. Elevate me... 
|
Become a member to create a blog
