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What are you looking for? That would be telling. Go on ...
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What are you looking for? That would be telling. Go on ... I'm looking for a man who won't ask this no-win question. I want him to tell me that I'm what he's looking for.  Maybe I should grin and tease, A man just like you - but more so!) BEING TOO HONEST Otherwise, whatever you say, he's likely to reply, 'We're looking for different things.'   How do you make it clear what you want or don't want whilst still sounding polite, friendly and welcoming? How do you find out what the other person wants? Surely most men want instant free sex?  Whilst most women want to get married. If either says that in a profile, on a first phone call, or before dessert on a date, the other party will be horrified, feel pressurised, and run away!  PROFILES Surely you can tell from the profile? I am often told my perfect matches. I read thirty profiles.  Twenty eight say, I just want NSA fun. I just shrug and click on. I can't provide NSA fun to thirty men a day. I know every man in he UK, in the world, certainly on this site, wants NSA fun. That doesn't tell me anything interesting.  I've been on here well over a month. Women who are on the rebound and have just joined may be into that.  But they are soon overwhelmed with fly by night men, so many you can't remember one from another. Any man who actually says what he does for a living or what his hobbies are immediately stands out. The opposite platitudes are just as indistinguishable. Lonely widowers in outer islands who like walking hand in hand on the beach. (Is there somebody who doesn't?) People looking for 'a good woman'.  Cooks, cleans,<b> barefoot </font></b>and pregnant and down on the farm. I met a farmer. He thought I was too sophisticated. I suppose that makes a change from the majority looking for a bad woman. {=}?* And people who tell you that they are normal or average. Nothing more exciting than a person who tells you they are average. (They must mean they like football. So which football team do they support? Come on, out with it!) That's marginally better than saying I'm not a maniac. Which puts into your head the idea that they might be.  HUMOUR ME Do I presume that guys who say, 'I am a maniac' are maniacs?  Presumably some of them are guys who think they have a sense of humour. They think that you will presume that all guys who say they are maniacs simply have a sense of humour. Does that mean that guys who say they are normal are maniacs - with no sense of humour? But I see some men try to have it both ways. They say either: a) I'm looking for instant sex - but if Miss Right turned up I'd be delighted. or b) I'm looking for a soulmate.  But I wouldn't say no to a bit of fun. Hm. What does that mean? That if I find my soulmate he's actually running around when I'm not looking? Or that he'll settle down. BOYS & MEN Yes, I know boys will be boys. ...\8 Don't they ever turn into men? (Y) All those naked pictures. What do I think of? Chasing after a trying to persuade him to grow up and put his clothes on so we can go out!  GO WITH THE FLOW But all this 'let's go with the flow - see what happens' stuff can sound rather wishy washy, or furtive to a woman. Or like there's a hidden agenda. A man who wants to offer me 'a few drinks - and see where it goes!' Sounds like he's trying to get me drunk. I have visions of the sort of an unscrupulous man who is slipping drugs into drinks, or worse. I am suspicious.  But I might not voice these thoughts. I simply politely decline, 'No thanks. I already have an invitation to dinner.'... 'Elizabeth'[   |
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