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Too long Too late
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Too long Too late I know most people do not read these blogs anymore. But, I have no one I can actually talk to. I can not talk to my mom about anything. Because she has a way of putting me down and telling me that that wasn't the way it was back in her day. So it just makes me feel worse than I already do. So this morning I woke up alone as usual. I kind of use to it as I been doing it for years. But when I woke up this morning I was thinking about someone I have not talked to in about 15 years. Her name is Deanne. She was a cutie out of port townsend. She was always showing up at my place and waiting for me to get home from work. Today, I think that was really cool. I know now that she was really wanting to be with me. Back then, I was clueless to the signs that a woman wanted to be with me. Today I still kind of misread all those signs. So this morning I was laying naked in my bed. My mind racing with all the things about her that I liked. Then regretted the argument that we had when I kicked her out of my home. Like I said earlier. I never understood the signs of a<b> woman wanting </font></b>to be with me. So I regret the argument. I went over all the ways I could have done to make her mine more than she was at the time. Instead of arguing and trying to go to the get together I was heading to when she showed up. I could have told her to pick a movie and a place we can get dinner. Then make our relationship more known and commited to each other. Instead it was her making herself sound like a and I should pay her for all the sex we had. I got insulted and kicked her out. Today, I see her in a light that I should have seen her then. I should have seen that she wanted to be with me. I should have paid attention to her shaving her pussy completely as a sign that she would do anything for me. Sorry Deanne! If my mom would have taught me how to read the signs a woman gives off. I would have saw what you were giving me. After the last 18 years of hell, I know I am very stand offish. My stance, my look and how I carry myself makes it look like I am unapproachable. In all reality. All you have to do is walk up to me and just talk to me. I am not an asshole. Not a jerk. I am no psycho or player. I am just me. I am the mutt that no one wants around. I am the mutt who is loyal and loving. I am the mutt that everyone walks past to go after the pitbull that is at the end of the line. I will write more later. I have more that I have been thinking about lately. Signed Lost and lonely cruiser |
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