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| Blogs > rm_Merast > Horny in the Highlands! |
Keep on Fucking in the Free World
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Keep on Fucking in the Free World My fellow Friendfinders of the adult variety, How does today find you? I hope it is well, I hope your God whoever or whatever he, she or indeed it may be, is smiling happily upon you. Our topic for discussion this evening (yes it is evening when Im writing this, quiet at the back smithers) is danger! This is indeed the `dangerous` blog (look.....grrrr.grrrrr.....see I told you, Damn Dangerous!!). More particularly it is the danger that is found in fucking al fresco, and no thats not a New Yorker of Italian descent, its fucking in the great outdoors with all the inherent thrills and dangers which that provides. Firstly may I state my usual disclaimer, that fucking by its very nature is a pleasure to be enjoyed whether it be indoors, outdoors or indeed indoors in a tent outdoors. I encourage you to find pleasure wherever you ramapantly fuck. However my friends let me share some experiences and tips for any of your future outdoor pleasures. Firstly, the beach. Shagging on a beach is magnificent, rolling in the surf with the sun beating down upon you (oh no wait a minute, that was `From Here To Eternity`). Living as I do in a town with miles of beautiful beaches, I have indulged in this guilty pleasure many times. However may I advise fucking in the shade of a large dune to provide protection and the mystique of privacy. Fucking in leu of a small dune means sand is blown off and you run the danger of getting you ass sandblasted as you merrily pump away. An experience fine for the masochists amongst us, but a somewhat bracing experience for anyone else. Duneless fucking inevitably opens you to the arrival of the constant Walker (Wasnt that a movie?). This has occurred to me twice now and I still have yet to come up with the definitive opening line to a border collie and his flat-capped owner as you are discovered fucking the ass off your willing co-conspirator halfway out in the middle of nowhere. I have tried `Afternoon, lovely weather!` and also `Lovely youve got there`, none of which is in any way added to by the fact I was stuffing my cock back in my trousers. Cest la vie. I would encourage the wildlife enthusiasts amonst us to favour more the open countryside, perhaps by a river, where the foliage provides adequate protection when lying flat on top of your partner (obviously giving just that little bounce every so often to elicit a leetle squeak!) when what seems like the entire Scottish Birdwatching society plonks themselves down for a picnic no more than 5 yards away. Talk about<b> tantric </font></b>sex!, they were there for an hour!! For the fans of the sporting life, I must suggest the joys of fucking in a bunker on a golf course! Luckily my town has two such courses, thus the true conneseur has a choice, however I would encourage you to see the advantages of such a position, encompassing the wide open spaces, the lush surroundings, the gibberings of the local sunday hackers with their wee trolleys and dodgy trousers, with the opportunity to use all the golfing double entendres which the true fucking sportsman so enjoys e.g. "Having a birdie", "Getting a hole in one", "Screwing it left and right before pulling it back" and my personal favourite "Getting a blowjob from the captains "  For those more into Urban fucking there are a number of locations which I have tried and tested which I may suggest a brief flirtation with should the opportunity arise. Bandstands make for a sheltered fuck, useful in inclement conditions, however please be aware that bandstands by their very nature are built for viewing by the public. Doggers amongst you rejoice! Roundabouts are interesting in that they are often containing much foliage for cover but you dont now where the next potential viewer is coming from, and they are buggers to get out of in a hurry! Finally of course we have the ultimate goth shag, that being fucking in a graveyard. Despite the obvious "doomed for all eternity" connertations of such a site, may I reccomend the furniture, with optimum stones and slabs to bend over, lie back on and ultimately be fucked within an inch of your life (which thinking on it, is more than most in that location rofl) My friends, I do hope that you will embrace the opportunities of the coming summer season and explore the great outdoors which our isles provide....................and fuck senselessly whilst your out there! Enjoy, dont have nightmares, and may your God go with you. Merast x |
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5/13/2007 4:59 pm |
My, aren't you the enterprising lad? Enjoyed your metaphors & English wit. While some of your sage advice escapes me as we don't employ such terms a "roundabouts", or "optimum stones & slabs to bend over", it was very amusing none the less. I guessing with a bit more polish, you might just well be the next James Herriot to enthrall the world of your anthology on fucking > or shagging--another one of the terms we never used until a few years ago. (That was the nom de plume the veterinarian from the UK wrote under some years ago.) Best wishes> Lefty
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Hey my rugged highlander  you were missed...have you won the goldfish yet? Alas..I am not sure I am in contention this year at the rate at which it is ..not...happening..however..I am not giving up all hope as yet... I thank you for the suggested shagging advice though..I wrote it in my wee lil notebook..just in case the situations arise... Best to be prepared ...*hugs* Be well 
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