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| Blogs > itzchic824 > The Voices Inside |
Effortless
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Effortless I always was so self conscious naked around anyone in general. In gym I'd do the half clothed changing, have the shirt on and pull that on while simultaneously taking the other one off. Sexually I always wanted the lights off cause of how much it bothered me and I just couldn't feel comfortable. Even with my ex 5 yrs ago, I had to have the lights off. But my current guy is a whole other level. The first time we got together I did insist lights off, but since then I haven't. While it does bug me the tiniest bit, it's not like it was with every other guy I've been with. With him it's so effortless. I barely even register that all my fat bits are out in view for his observation. I feel free with him and feel sexy and wanted. I've never felt like this with anyone before. Even though I am still losing weight, I am still heavier than I was a few years ago. But he gives me so much confidence. In a way I have accepted my body as it is at the moment because of him. I'm still gonna keep losing weight, but not feeling completely ugly and fat is a huge step for me. I have written how he makes me feel like a size 2 and he really does. He makes me feel beautiful and like I am worth having an amazing guy. I have never had a guy make me feel so beyond words before. I hope possibly he is here for the long haul and things continue going well. I'd like to write about more happening someday, more good things. I sent an Angel to watch over you last night, it returned in a hurry. I asked why, it said "Angels can't watch porn." Thanks for fucking traumatizing my fucking Angel! Don't bother trying to figure me out. Not even the little voices in my head understand me. It's pointless! |
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Good for you sweetie. Glad you're where you want to be, and enjoying it more every day. The "Gentleman"
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If I could, I'd give you two a huge group hug. Love in it's purest form is more important than anything on Earth. One on one consult - For all your love and relationship needs. The one question challenge - One free question! Ask me anything!
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That's so awesome to feel that way! (btw, my new pic was taken by a photographer that could have been your twin! I did a double take when I saw her and had to go recheck your profile location to see if you were in NJ when I got home! so funny!!)
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Sounds like it could be the beginning of something serious, that's not necessarily a bad thing.
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Good Man There ----- spoil him rotten!!
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It's pretty normal to be self-conscious about your body, no matter what your age. HOWEVER ... certain "life events" tend to make women worry much less about people seeing them naked (especially childbirth). For me, it was cervical cancer/pregnancy/childbirth. After hanging from your ankles from the ceiling for surgery, with your vag spread wide for the world to see, aimed right at the door where count-'em, SEVENTEEN people walked in and out of the room ... plus being pregnant and fat and swollen in a body you don't even recognize as your own ... ya kinda get over people seeing you naked and realize that your body is just a "body" and nobody gains any power over you by seeing it. That said, after I joined this site and started posting nude pictures, I finally gained an appreciation of my body and a better understanding of what my best features were in men's eyes (ass obviously - and I grew up with everyone mocking my big butt). I can't begin to tell you how much that opened me up and enhanced my sexuality. And tons of women here will confirm it's done the same for them. Since you have your face pic up on your profile, I wouldn't recommend full-nude. But you will see, if you do post racy nude/semi-nude pics, that there are TONS of men who find your body attractive, even if you are a bigger girl. Different men are attracted to all different kinds of body types. At my heaviest ... and I got up to 180-190, which wasn't small, I STILL had young, good-looking, super-fit men wanting to fuck me just as much or more than when I was at my skinniest 135 pounds. I'm at 160-165 right now, which I'm not thrilled about, but Doc loves my curvier body and has actually "prohibited" me from losing weight, because he doesn't want my ass to get any smaller. (Funny, huh?) When you find the right guy (and it sounds like you have a good one there) - he'll be attracted to whatever makes your body unique ... not "perfect."
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Glad you have someone that lifts you up instead of tearing you down. Hope it continues to work out for you. It really bothers me when people are treated less than they deserve.
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