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| Blogs > itzchic824 > The Voices Inside |
Met up with a former short lived FWB.
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Met up with a former short lived FWB. Shouldn't have, but what's done is done. He texted me out of nowhere and asked if I remembered him, yep. Then I didn't hear from him all week so I thought, alrighty then. Friday at work he texts me saying if I wanted to come up (I live like 55 min from him) let him know so he can meet me at the bus station. Problem is the bus leaves at 6:30 I get off at 6. Till I go home, pack an overnight bag, buy my bus ticket (we only have a stop not a station so you have to buy it online), shower, grab something to eat, and get back to the bus stop<b> downtown </font></b>it'd be too late. Hell the roundtrip to and from my house alone is almost a half hr. He said well don't shower, pack a bag, and I can shower there. Still not enough time. We go back and forth until he gets to well just go straight from work and I can shower there. Still leaves me with no clean clothes to wear home next day (EW - Ocd about that) and I hadn't shaved my legs and other areas in awhile since ya know I haven't had anyone. I do still upkeep but not as often. That I'm not comfortable doing in someone else's tub. But anyway...I said if he wants to come get me I could pay for his gas. No that won't work. :\ So for the next not even 45 min I text with a friend of mine I've known since middle school and he says he'll take me up if I pay for his gas. No biggie. The cost of his gas is actually cheaper than the bus ticket. So I text the guy and let him know and now he's tired. I said well take a nap. He had like over 4 hrs at this point until I'd be there. No he'd still be tired. So after some talking until like 10 minutes before I get off work he agrees to me coming. I guess I should have given up but you guys gotta understand I'm going on 11 months no sex and this is someone I was already comfortable with sexually. With no other prospects on the horizon I was a tad bit desperate. Something that pissed me off is he wanted my friend to drop me off at a store 3 blocks away cause he didn't know my friend and wasn't comfortable having a stranger knowing his address. That would've been fine but he wasn't picking me up and it was dark out. He had me call him and he directed me to his place but still. I'll skip the in between of me getting there, etc. But the gist of it is, he fingered me, did something awesome I've never felt before. Although before I get to that, like he was rubbing my clit and it was just the top and with me you gotta get down and with some pressure so every other time guys always say they're not mind readers so I try to show him and he said he was aware. OK... But anyway, so then he said he massaged my pelvic area up towards my stomach. Whatever he did actually turned my mind off for a few precious moments, which never happens and I think has a lot to do with why I can't orgasm. I was pure feeling. I remember him over me and I was clinging to him and just feeling. It was amazing. Of course it had to be him who did that, an asshole who I'll never see again (will get to that). After that we cuddled a few minutes then I went down on him and apparently he didn't mean to cum but he did. I understand some guys don't have a quick come back and need a recharge period, but he went to sleep. Ok...:\ I thought, well in the morning we'll actually have sex, ya know "intercourse." Before I had left to go I said to him I need lots of sex, now I understood he was tired but I need sex, I've been craving, to be blunt, a cock. He said don't worry he'll give it to me. Yeah, didn't happen. He took me to the station, did give me half of the money I paid at least to get out there, gave me a hug, and that's it. I texted him Sunday to ask him what he had done to cause my mind to actually turn off for once and I think I may have had a mini orgasm. I don't know since I've never felt it. He told me and I said how I hoped we can do that again and more and to have a good evening and all I got was to have a good evening. My gut is telling me he's not planning on seeing me again and honestly that pisses me off. He fucking came. I didn't even get what I wanted and this was technically his second chance. Back when we had been fwb before our last time together he was pretty much about his pleasure and not mine and when he texted me this time before we got together I told him that and he told me he'd make it up to me. Yeah ok. You guys are gonna tell me to say good riddance and yeah I'm trying to look at it like that but I also am mourning the side of it where he's a guy who makes me feel very at ease very quickly which doesn't happen often and what just happened, well damn, hasn't ever happened with a guy, where I actually had my mind shut off and just feel. Fuck. As far as I'm concerned I'm still at almost 11 months no sex cause all we did was an exchange of touching each other, there was no intercourse. We can argue semantics, but I am still unsatisfied and all that's gonna satisfy me is good, long, hard sex damn it! I sent an Angel to watch over you last night, it returned in a hurry. I asked why, it said "Angels can't watch porn." Thanks for fucking traumatizing my fucking Angel! Don't bother trying to figure me out. Not even the little voices in my head understand me. It's pointless! |
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 at least you got one brief shining moment out of it! Hope he explained what he did well enough a future lover can replicate it.
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If a man can't or won't make an effort to be with you, he is not worth it. You had to do all the work to get there and he got his reward and rolled over. Hold out for something better. They will treat you as you allow them to.
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You need someone who looks out for YOU. Embrace the suck
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Would love to have dinner with you sometime and chat. Embrace the suck
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I agree. Hope he explained what he did to cause that shiny moment. Not sure why no "intercourse" in the morning. If I am making a friend drop off at a station or a store, I would go to pick/meet them. common sense. If I am meeting a lover, fwb or 1 night stand I need to care equally for her satisfaction. This is sounding too much like 1 sided.
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