Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > AtomicArtist0 > Atomic Blog |
They Make Wagner Sound Like Mary Poppins Taking A Crap!
|
They Make Wagner Sound Like Mary Poppins Taking A Crap! If you're anything like my imagination suggests, you probably lose a lot of sleep at night wondering what I do in my free time...or better yet, what sort of concerts did I attend recently. Well, even if you don't, you ingrates, I'm gonna tell ya. Hey, at least I'm writing about something, right? I was as giddy as a school girl to attend the Muse concert last night as evidenced by all the school girls that were there...and then there was me, just as giddy. Now, if you're the type who listens to Lynyrd Skynyrd on your tape deck in your '79 Trans-Am you may be saying...Muse? Who? What now? What I miss!? Damn, I'm old! Is that Freedom Rock? Well, turn it up, man! Well, sort of. Let me explain, Casey Jones. Muse is what the crazy are into these days. Crazy ...and me. Yup, I'm a big fan, but gone are the days where concert goers prop their topless girlfriends up on their shoulders and wave their Bic lighters in the air during Free Bird. Now they wave cell phones around, no one knows Free Bird anymore and to my chagrin, no one seemed to be topless. But I digress. For awhile there I was feeling easily two decades older than most of the thousands who were packing into the concert venue, but then a large group of thirty-somethings came and sat right next to us, then I was spotting a bunch of forty-somethings and beyond, so I didn't feel so out of place. Our tickets didn't mention anything about an opening band but as per the laws of concert going we all presumed there would be one. Rock stars never get on stage promptly as soon as the tickets say they should...as, by law, there is back stage cocaine and blowjobs to be had. Although with these new cleaner, health conscious, no excess rock stars, I have no idea what they do just before show time anymore. A bunch of non-descript guys walked out on stage and began to strap on their guitars, (Is this Muse?) and then a skanky looking girl took the lead microphone (ok, definitely not Muse) and began to...well...sing...er...prance around and act like a throwback from the 80's. She wore white<b> spandex </font></b>stretch pants and even though she was thin she had...well...an ass like a bag of wet clothes, as the joke I am so fond of mentioning so vividly describes. We weren’t exactly in the front row, so we couldn’t quite make out exact facial features, but she sort of looked and acted like a cross between Axl Rose and David Lee Roth as it seemed she raided both their wardrobes and couldn't keep her hands off her crotch. As she convulsed and used her hair to mop the floor we all laughed and heckled and wondered...who the hell was this chic and why is she such a spaz? Then between songs she said her name... Juliette Lewis. Wait...Juliette Lewis?! Juliette Lewis, the actress? The same Juliette Lewis whom I wasn't sure whether to be hot or repulsed over in Natural Born Killers and Cape Fear? That Juliette Lewis? Holy crap! What is she doing sucking on stage? Some of the thirty-somethings near me took this opportunity to leave the arena and go get hammered just outside, but still within earshot of the concert area. I stayed through the whole thing, but they were all back just in time for Muse to get on stage and knock us all on our asses with their mind-blowing extravaganza. Juliette Lewis and her on stage shenanigans were forgotten...and forgiven. I thought they would use this as a closer, but instead opened with my favorite song, Knights of Cydonia. In case you don't know, this is an epic, heroic tune with a galloping beat and mind-bending electronic effects similar to what Pink Floyd or theatrical Queen would have pulled off decades before them. I have to admit...maybe I'm just an old softy, but I got a little choked up through Knights of Cydonia. But how can ya not? The video has all the elements of 70's camp spaghetti westerns and Battlestar Galactica with kung fu fighting cowboys and laser guns. The hero saves the day and the damsel in distress from the hangman's gallows with a 70's style Evel Knievel dirt bike. I think a Cylon shows up right at the end...or maybe C-3PO. See...told ya it was epic and beautiful. Still don't believe me? Well, you can see for yourself through the magic of youtube. Just use keywords: Muse Knights of Cydonia. You'll agree that this song is so big and epic and awesome that you'll think Wagner's Flight of the Valkyries sounds like Mary Poppins taking a crap! Really. If you need any more convincing, you can always check out their tunes "Supermassive Black Hole" or "Time is Running Out"...both of which totally kicked ass in concert! Then after that if you become totally hooked like I am, and if my opinions mean anything, I recommend you get their CD "Black Holes and Revelations". Are you seeing some sort of reoccurring astronomical theme here? You see, listening to Muse makes you smarter. It makes you realize that glaciers melt because of the presence of black holes...or worm holes...or...um...something. Look, I know I should have paid better attention in high school physics classes to understand the scope of all of this...or read more books by that wheelchair guy...you know...Larry Flynt...but this is a great CD. I think you'd find them to be smart, slick and alluring with mind-bending electronic effects and innovative Hendrix style guitar tricks. They're a great band...just steer clear of that Juliette Lewis character. There, now you have a moderately amusing new post and a great recommendation to ponder. Now you know a band I like. That ought to put a smirk on your smug little faces. But if you want to know more about my personal life, like say, what book I'm currently reading, you'll have to wait for another post. Cuz I'm the self proclaimed Man of Mystery and that's just how I roll. HAH! SUCKERS! DISCLAIMER: Atomic is currently reading In the Heart of Sea; the Tragedy of the Whaleship Essex by Nathaniel Philbrick and totally recommends it if you like true stories of sperm whaling and big, burly men stranded at sea and cannibalizing each other. I'm here to spoil all of his secrets at the end of this post. Like did you know he's actually a half an inch shorter than his profile says? Yeah! And he's never owned or wore a pair of jeans! Hah! And get this...he has a black suede couch with leopard print throw pillows and he sleeps on leopard print sheets. How gay is that?! Oh, and the couch is only a half of a sectional because his apartment is too damn small to accommodate the whole thing! And he totally cries like a little girl whenever that one Gary Jules song from Donnie Darko comes on! HAH! What a wuss! And Juliette Lewis, if you're reading this...Atomic would totally bone you, even though he thinks you have an ass like a bag of wet clothes and after all the shit he said about you. But we all know that situation would never happen as you're a mega star with a huge mansion and legions of fans and he's a total loser who eats buckets of fried chicken while watching granny porn. HA! HA! HA!  |
||||
|
Juliette Lewis! Ha! I'd bet you a big box O' LEGOS that she's total primadona-vanilla in the sheets, bud. Still. A man can dream. Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde
| |||
|
Are you my hero Atomic? I am going to check it out on youtube and get back to you! BehindMyBlues
| |||
|
You had me with the leopard print, but wtf is up with the granny porn? That's so sick! However, that MUST mean that you don't have any decent nekky pics and stuff; I'll send you some -- keep the shades on, though...just in case!  
| |||
|
The name of her band is Juliette and the Licks. They're big in East Grinstead.
| |||
|
I'm afraid if it ain't country or 70's I probably never heard of them!!!   Granny porn,now that I could believe!!!   Later Atomic
| |||
|
Of course, babe; just because it's the way YOU explain it! On the other hand, that probably just makes us BOTH weird {-ier?} BTW, your e from you know where bounced back on me; says no such addy etct. Sent offline. Tell it to quit being a goober!
| |||
|
Oh, another way in which I won't let you live vicariously... TAG!!!!! YOU'RE IT! Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random things, facts, habits, or goals about yourself. At the end choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave them a comment (you're it) and to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you.
| |||
|
~Tagged By LSecretlySexy~ Ten Weird or Random Things, Facts, Habits or Goals: Once you have been tagged, you have to write a post containing the above. At the end choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment (you're it) and to read their blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you. BehindMyBlues
| |||
|
If it's any consolation, I have purchased and worn enough pairs of jeans for both of us...and although I don't eat fried chicken any more(especially the Kentucky kind), I have been known to enjoy granny porn from time to time. I have to search on who Juliette Lewis is and I now have an idea at least of what muse is...so all in all, it was a good day to stop in at Atomic Blog...
|
Become a member to create a blog
