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| Blogs > DandJforplay > What Makes Play Erotic & Fun |
Bisexual Sadness
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Bisexual Sadness Once again we've run into the situation where a couple is initially interested in us, then reads our profile more carefully and finds that D is bisexual, too. To us, bisexual means we have more choices, we are comfortable in more situations, we have a wider range of appetites to choose from. It does not mean we need it, expect it, or even want it from others. With most people we play straight. Only when we are very sure that our play partners are comfortable with bisexuality, would we ever try any same sex action. We've never been refused because J is bisexual. A woman's bisexuality seems far more acceptable to some here than a male's. In this case the couple's woman was bi curious, but somehow that doesn't translate to any acceptance of bisexuality when it's the man. What makes it more curious is that we have much in common, a bisexual guy and a bisexual woman. We both enjoy women, and we both enjoy men. Wouldn't it make us naturally more understanding of each other? We both have sucked cocks, and we both have gone down on women. There's so much technique we could discuss! It seems to us that our interests are very compatible. Alas that is not the way it turns out to be. In our case D's bisexuality has not extended to fucking a guy in the ass or getting fucked in the ass. So the only thing D's done differently from any other man is suck a cock. And that's exactly the same as any woman here has done. So why does that rule out play for a couple? D's not interested in sucking the guy's cock unless the guy is interested in getting sucked by a man. It won't happen. Life is strange in the ways people are uncomfortable about sexuality. We'd hoped that people open enough for swinging wouldn't be so inhibited that the mere fact a guy is bi would shake them up enough to say "Oh no, we simply can't meet."  |
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4/3/2008 4:36 pm |
Well put and, yes, it's been our experience also. Although my husband has not ventured into bisexual play since adolescence, he is willing and hoping to and that seems enough to put most men off. It is the strangest thing, this difference between the acceptance of a woman's bisexuality and a man's interest in equal exploration.
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4/4/2008 9:00 pm |
Here' here'
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Couple4usnow have heart. You'll eventually meet another couple who is open to the full range of possibility. Actually, putting that we are both bisexual in our profile has seems to have only winnowed out before they send emails those we'd have to winnow out later because they aren't comfortable with full sexuality or are homophobic. The point isn't that it reduces the number of couples you might meet, but that it sharpens the possibility of clicking with those you do meet. The reason this particular one got to us is because they DIDN'T read our profile fully. So the email we shared held promise and excitement until they finally read the profile and then simply wrote us off. After sharing promise and excitement, the fact that D was bi was more important to them than that we clicked in other respects. That's what was frustrating. Hold out the promise then yank it away. Nice to see/hear from you again, Blkvt4u. How goes your life? Will we be able to get together soon? 
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4/20/2008 5:20 pm |
d and j can we play sat the 27th
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4/21/2008 5:37 am |
are the two of you available any evenings this week? I would love to meet you both.
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4/23/2008 6:35 pm |
Life is going well, hope to play with you soon as well.
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6/30/2008 9:20 am |
Well said! When meeting other couples, it should not matter that the male is bi, if a guy is straight, that is ok with us. I do not push my bi orientation on any person that we meet. if they are that homophobic, then they should not be in the lifestyle. I believe that most guys that act the way they do is because they think that it will dampen there masculinity. Ok, I will get off the soap box now... lol. Everyone have a great day and enjoy life to the fullest.
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What's saddest is we're not asking for any bi action from anyone we meet. We can be as straight as you are. The most we might ever ask from a straight person is if I could go down on my woman while she's being fucked by him. If even that is too much, we can play straight. With couples. When it comes to adding another guy to our play, there are plenty who don't mind having two mouths on their cocks at the same time. How terrible can that be? Besides, my love will distract him greatly from the fact that my mouth is there also. She may be making out with him passionately, rubbing her body all over his, even letting me place his cock inside her for a time, then allowing me to taste her juices on his cock. Hell, I can let her ride him till he cums, while I lick his cock going in and out of her, and then I taste his cum coating his cock. When he's finished cumming, I'll quickly clean his cock and then devour her. Nothing is hotter than tasting both their orgasm juices inside her. And talk about her orgasms when I do that!
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1 post 1/3/2010 8:08 pm |
I have noticed this phenomena as well. And I agree with D that it is simply better to be up-front in your profile and allow a natural weeding process to occur, rather than deal with the inevitable disappointment or hostility if broached later, in the name of the number of responses. I personally think that bisexual people are more complete as sexual beings. Why the sex of the person you are sharing pleasure with matters is a mystery to me. Sure the technique is different, but the desire is the same. My perception has been that many heterosexuals are holding back and suppressing their same-sex tendencies. This is much less true of women these days because feminine bisexuality has become so prevalent and acceptable that is nearly expected. But not that many years ago women suffered under the same prejudices that men do today. I think male bisexuality is still considered mostly undesirable because men have a difficult time seeing themselves having sex with their male friends and the effect it would have on those established relationships. Whereas women, even in the days where bisexuality itself wasn't practiced nearly as much, still greeted each other with hugs and kisses. So the tendency was there before the more open action of today. The majority of men still see bisexuality as a sign of weakness, and are repelled by the idea of a crack forming in their masculine armor and fear their own suppressed tendencies towards it. So they nip it in the bud, which is much easier. For women it is a natural extension of the acceptance of them being already more apt to touch each other in more casually intimate ways. Not to mention the initial impedance of the desire of their male partners watch their women have sex with other women, in a way ironically. Kind of a "try it you'll like it"; resulting in just that a lot of the time. But in myself, I still differentiate between bi men and gay men when it comes to choosing sex partners, so perhaps I'm just as guilty of prejudice, and actually just full of shit. I'm not sure... Being listed as bi-sexual or bi-curious will get you less responses as a man on this site, but I believe the result is of a much higher quality in terms of the interaction of human sexuality.
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I know its an old blog and not sure I'll get a response but I've been reading your blogs D&J and really great reading. Your right about that and its sad that people react strangly went we discuss about male bisexuality. Its truly sad, its the best of both worlds. I agree with your methods, its important to be truthful on profiles, there a so many disappointments out there. Keep up the good writing.
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