Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
If the email is registered with our site, you will receive an email with instructions to reset your password. Password reset link sent to:
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service

Expectations  

gattomonstrosis 58M
153 posts
10/20/2007 3:33 am
Expectations


I've been seeing a lot of posts recently about expectations, what guys feel that they are owed by the women they choose to contact.

That strikes me as a little odd, the idea that someone thinks she owes them something just because they are interested in her.

Ok, to an extent they do have a point, buried under bitterness and vitriol though it may be. Common courtesy i would hope would to be a given for all of us, there's no good reason not to be polite when refusing an offer of contact or receiving such a refusal; we can all expect to be treated decently by those we interact with, that's not an unreasonable expectation.

It's the idea that someone who writes an email thinks they are owed something special from the recipient while not owing the recipient the courtesy of at least making sure they're a match for what (s)he is looking for that strikes me as odd.
No thought that the recipient may have filters set and may not even see the message, or may get dozens or even hundreds of emails to deal with every day and simply can't reply personally to every one unless they spend all their time doing nothing else.
No, it's a case of "I wrote you a message, you didn't acknowledge me as the best thing since sliced bread therefore you are a bitch/bastard/whatever.

I've written my share of emails saying hi to women i've been interested in, i've put a fair amount of time and effort into them and not heard a single word back in response. Was i disappointed that i didn't even get an auto reply saying "I got your mail and will get back to you if i am interested"? Sure i was, but i understand about filters and quotas and plain old fashioned apathy, so i don't take it personally. That's the way it goes and what all guys should be prepared for if they give it even two seconds thought, c'est la vie.

I'm of the opinion that a basic auto reply should be the default mail setting simply because so many people just can't be bothered to spend the few seconds it takes to do it themselves. A secondary auto reply along the lines of "This member has filters set and unfortunately you don't match his/her criteria would be a good idea too. It'd reduce the number of blokes sending abuse because they think they're being ignored and that has to be a good thing.

So come on people, what do you think? What do we really owe each other?

Become a member to create a blog