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Blogs > gattomonstrosis > Never eat yellow snow. |
Crazy
Crazy I was dating recently for several months, it was all very pleasant but it didn't go anywhere because i didn't feel anything for her beyond friendship even though she threw herself in at the deep end of commitment from the word go. Ok, i know, that should have been a red flag to get out while the getting was good, but i enjoyed her company and thought i should give it a decent chance to grow into something more. It didn't, i just didn't feel the spark. Maybe it was all the stories about how previous boyfriends had used her so badly making her come across as a doormat, maybe she was just too intense too quick, maybe we just didn't spend enough time together because i always put my weekends with my first. Whatever the reason it just didn't happen and things got more and more strained as time went on. She gets tearful after a helluva lot of drink one night and demands that i lie to her and say i love her. I didn't feel even remotely comfortable with that and said i couldn't do it. Things rapidly went to hell in a hand-basket and needless to say we're not dating anymore. It just strikes me as totally crazy that someone would be so desperate to be loved that they'd want someone who is supposed to care about them to lie about it. Could anyone really live with that? Did it even occur to her that demanding something like that made it sound like it didn't matter who the hell i was, so long as i said the words she wanted to hear i could be some random bloke from the supermarket. This has depressed the crap out of me for weeks, for a while there i seriously thought "Jesus, maybe i should just give up and stop looking." I didn't of course, i like people, i like being close, it just seems like every time i am there is always something lurking in the background to kick it to the kerb. |
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