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Its a shame a greater # of Caucasian females tie weight gain and sexual libido into a DEATH knot. A weight number should not dictate how your libido acts. A few lbs over your "BMI" suggested weight wont be your death. Now, 30-40lbs, thats something different. STRESS is a trigger. Cortisol can be your friend and your enemy. I have seen your bigger counterparts actually revel in their size. Comfortable in their size, and that confidence draws in men. I never understood if your so enthralled by your own weight, when does sensitivity end? I had sex once with a smaller woman, she was so unhappy with her weight, around 5"4 140lbs, she wanted the curtains closed and the lights off to hide her "flabbyness". Sex only partially occurred, and never happened a second time. The point? Unless there's health concerns- weight shouldnt be that much of an issue. Just my 2cents. ~Linc was here.~
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Stacy, Lose the weight for health reasons. Lose the weight if you think it is hurting your sex drive. But DON'T put down physical attractiveness to other people as your number one reason. If you think a guy is going to be put off by your appearance, he proabbly isn't worth desiring in the first place. A true lover is a true friend, and a true friend will be attracted to the kind of person you are, and (if sex occurs) by the way you love them. I sympathize a lot with your weight problem. I have a pretty bad one myself. It is hurting my sex drive (along with medications I have to take) and my overall health (difficulty breathing and difficulty sleeping). If you didn't desire me because I looked like I feel awful and can't enjoy life, that's fair. If you looked like you felt awful and I asked you how you felt and you told me the truth, I would probably do something for you besides make love with you. But I WOULD do something for you to boost your spirits and your energy. If your husband falls for women one after another, he is like me in that respect. I am attracted to lots of women IF they are nice and sweethearted and intelligent. If they aren't, I ease away from them. Maybe he is fortunate that he has fallen for several women at once and all of them love him back. I don't know how that one works. But rest assured (and please tell Jennifer this as well) that physical attractiveness is far down on my list of what makes a woman a good lover. Hell, I am extremely nearsighted and could take my eyeglassess off and couldn't make you out at more than two steps away without watching for your individual traits and quirks. I don't mind that women don't find me sexually attractive, because I haven't had any real opportunity to befriend them and feel a legitimate physical desire for them. If you want to eat healthy and exercise, call me up and let me join you. I'll pay a full share of the expenses and not expect anything in return except advice on how to exercise properly without damaging bones or ligaments, and how to prepare healthy food so it tastes good. I have been eating and running off to a sedentary job for years on end. If I could get a different job whenre I could make friends and exercise and eat with them, I'd take it. That hasn't happened yet, but maybe it will,. But DON'T LET WORRY ABOUT YOUR APPEARANCE CONSUME YOU. That is just yielding to the small-minded excuses for people who thrive on putting down people. You choose your own destiny and pursue it. And remember, your children will profit by your example. The teenage daughter you've talked about briefly -- would she worry herself into an eating disorder because her moms are obsessed with losing weight and becoming more attractive? It's far from impossible. Get healthy for her sake, your husband's sake (as a boyfriend, I had to deal with a girlfrined who suffered from many serious illnesses and a chronically pessimisic atitude realted to it), for your parents' sakes if they are still alive. But don't look in the mirror and magically become ugly. You are lying to yourselves. Sorry to make this a polemic, but I feel very strongly on this issue.
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Very good post by Jennifer and Stacy. Very good response by Linc1912. Thanks for sharing of yourselves......
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I am going through this same thing right now along with some more personal family stuff and ending a relationship with a long term lover. It has left me stressed,feeling unattractive and no desire for sex. I started going to the gym but have not been in the last week due to everyone in my house being sick and dealing with some family issues this last week. Hopefully next week I can get back on trck and start working as hard as I was. We all need a little remodeling at times. Keep up the good work. After I get back on track I will start posting weekly pictures of my progress.
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Glad to see your back blogging and back on the road to good health. You are correct in that the weight just seems to creep up on you. Hang in there and remember to eat smart. You know sex IS great excersise.
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Glad to see you back blogging. I know exactly what you mean about not feeling attractive. I have been having health issues for a couple of years and put on a lot of weight. I have the desire to meet men but don't because I don't feel desirable. Six months ago I went to a vascular surgeon for leg problems. He told me of course I need to lose weight, (he was very nice about it). Explained a lot to me, because of my health problems it is not possible to exercise. Thanks to him I have now lost 54 pounds and feeling so much better. Actually even thinking about being brave and meeting someone again. Sorry about the long reply, but it is so nice to know I'm not alone in the way I think. Keep up the good work. 
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3/1/2012 7:22 pm |
Yes do it so you feel better, and so you dont have to upsize the clothes too. I lost about 60 lbs 6 yrs ago , but the weight is creeping up and I am too cheap to buy bigger. Soooooo Dr. Atkins will be my guide again.
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My vein problems is poor circulation, which is just as ugly as varicose veins. My legs get really red. I wouldn't mind so much if it looked like a sunburn, lol, but it doesn't.
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3/3/2012 11:01 am |
As you gorgeous ladies work out hard, you'll see smaller losses, remember, you are toning and gaining muscle. While the drop may not sound like a lot, congratulation. Over 10% drop in 2 months is something to be proud of. Hope to see you lovely ladies soon.
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Great to see you two back bloging. I sure have missed you.  Why to go on your wight loss. I know it is big for women. This is not meant to offend any one in any way.     
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2Women4You replies on 3/4/2012 10:39 am: >>>> Great to see you two back bloging. I sure have missed you. <<<< Thanks. It's good to be back. >>>> Why to go on your weight loss. <<<< We're doing our best. We've done a few diets over the last few years, but we never stuck to it. This time is different. We're going to do it this time!! >>>> I know it is big for women. <<<< LOL...... Are you sure "Big" is the adjective you want to use. *grin* No I did not mean that. I meant a big thing psychological for women. I should watch what I am writing.  This is not meant to offend any one in any way.
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I still think you look great. (I still have the pic too) As for 2 years of frustration all I can say is I want a rematch! Hmmmmm when you do get back down to 150 maybe I could get that 3rd...nah.  Take care Jax
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3/25/2012 9:17 pm |
I fully understand. Due to a medical issue I've been on a few Rx prescriptions and they have added about 30 pounds on me over 3 years. Same diet, same activity, etc. But each time I start a new RX, bang!, I gain 10# in 2 weeks. Remember, that a curvy woman who is confident and loves her own body is much more sexy than a smaller woman with body issues.
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