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| Blogs > Massage_Man_00 > Confessions Of A Trouser Clown |
Ask Bob.....
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Ask Bob.....
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Dear Bob: What the hell is TOU? Uniformed and Sleepless in Salt Lake
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 oh wise one I don't know why I keep getting these strange men, damn I'm just looking for a fun time, no ties or strings attached. I just got this strange reply from my lover, yes I have the right to call him my lover after we have been fucking alot since 2007. He said I'm not your keeper,so what does he mean? I'm still shocked and saddened by his reply to me. Help!!!!
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Dear Bob, there is a guy who is interested in me...but he doesn't have any teeth and won't wear his dentures....what should I do?
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Dear Bob, I have a Rubber Chicken Fetish. Should I be using mayonnaise or just skipping that? Your Biggest Fan, *~Fire~* The only thing I HAVE to do is eat, shit, and die. Everything else is a choice.
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5/4/2009 2:10 pm |
Dear Bob, I have been thinking about this and at first I was gonna ask you if you would be turned off if a woman wore the same panties to two sex dates in a row...but then I thought NOOOOO that is to easy guys love that. Then I thought, maybe I would ask you if haukin a luggie on you while giving head to better lubricate would be a good thing...there again, snot rocket bj's are all the rage. So I decided on this one, is it ok to ask I guy to fart in the water while having bathtub sex? I just love that captured, lingering ass smell...what says you BoB? Your biggest fan (I ain't kiddin, I'll send you an ass pic, just ask) Steph  IT HAPPENS!
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Dear Bob, Where can a kind, gentle, respectful but older gentleman perv like myself, find some sort of sex, any type will do, but geez, sooo many years with out any I know is not good for me. Your most earnest and thoughtful reply is eagerly awaited.... Pervy Pete
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Bob, I was told you were the one with the answer to this burning question: what happens to the other half of the pair of socks when the dryer is done? A complete pair goes into the wash, but somehow 1 goes missing by the time the cycle is done- please advise? another question that came up recently: what's a girl to do when service people come to the door, see a pair of boobs, and tell the woman a wacky reason for why something isn't working, thinking the woman is too dumb to know better? Do guys think that the size of the breast affects the functioning of a woman's brain? will be waiting with great anticipation for your wisdom! what the world needs now..........    
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Dear Ask Bob: I have this problem, I wrote to an advice columnist a few days ago and have had no response. Is it possible my question was so lame, it killed the entire column?? Nobody has gotten even one answer,and I'm afraid he took a look at my question and had a heart attack (or blew up) laughing! There were some real GOOD puzzling questions in there too! Anxious and sweaty in the west
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Dear Ask Bob: I have this problem, I wrote to an advice columnist a few days ago and have had no response. Is it possible my question was so lame, it killed the entire column?? Nobody has gotten even one answer,and I'm afraid he took a look at my question and had a heart attack (or blew up) laughing! There were some real GOOD puzzling questions in there too! Anxious and sweaty in the west
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5/7/2009 8:46 am |
Dear Technical Support Team, I can't help but feel you have caused us lovelies undo stress. Please be informed that the Council of Lovley will be holding a special confrence at which time we will decide whether to push this issue. We feel that you may have implied an earlier response and therefore caused further sexual frustration to the masses. We will give you an opportunity to fix this situation but there are people that have men getting pickled and cold in the tub waiting on an answer to the captured bath bubble gas!!!!!!!! All do respect, Lovely Steph IT HAPPENS!
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Dear Bob: I am reading-for-content challenged! Could lack of sex, even pity sex, cause this awful condition? Do you think the lack of an orgasm, could be causing a keratin-a deficiency? I'm looking at carrots with a much more jaundiced 'eye'.   Needing Thicker Glasses Somewhere West of the Mississippi
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Yo Bob, Mr. Peepers here. Here's my problem. I'm attached to Agent J here and J hasn't gotten anything in about several weeks. Before that, a couple months, and before that, several months ago. I'm freakin' starving over here! What can I do to get AgentJ some prime grade-A+ pussy here? It's kinda difficult being a penis and he's been ignoring me for crying out loud! What am I gonna do with this guy? He keeps moaning about trying to find the right one, but right now, he's not finding ANYONE! Any tips from one penis to another? Who can you call on to save the day? Why none other than... Agent 
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Dear Bob, BIG FAN! BIG FAN! I wait all week with great anticipation for your unique brand of wisdom. What is the purpose of saran wrap? Seriously, I see it used in sex play, but is it stimulating? Is it more of an S&M thing? And how does one remove it- scissors? How big of a duffel bag does one pack when preparing for intimate encounters? What is a Kimono condom? When shopping for condoms, how does one determine what would fit? I don't see small, medium, large sizes-- most of them seem to use names that indicate it is perfect for someone hung like a horse. Does one bring a playmate along to actually try on sizes like clothing? thank you, the all powerful and wise Bob! another 'born again virgin' who is totally CLUELESS....... what the world needs now..........
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bob, does green saran wrap keep u fresher then clear???  ..just join me on my blog bustybettyboop and still looking for some hot,sexy,creative contestants for my next contest...come join us! need a blog mentor or want to be one? 
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bob, i've been all tied up and waiting for u all night,,where are u???? ..just join me on my blog bustybettyboop and still looking for some hot,sexy,creative contestants for my next contest...come join us! need a blog mentor or want to be one?
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Dear Bob, I have discovered there are some who are into the group sex stuff. Forgive me, as I am nieve and it sounds ridiculous, being here on this site. But I am wondering if you could explain the purpose of the group thing? What does a person get out of this? Do they prefer the group thing over being one on one? I honestly don't understand the interest, the purpose, the benefit. I've always been a one on one kinda girl, and am not able to comprehend. If anyone can explain this, I know you can! Sincerely, GEM what the world needs now..........
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Dearest Bob... I've heard there are certain foods a person can eat that would make his or her cum taste incredible but I can't remember which foods these are. Can you help? I want to fill my fridge!!! Hear my brain work when you check out the Cricket's Chirp
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Dear Bob, Please advise when purchasing and shopping for condoms, how does a girl know which size to get??? What is considered standard, small, medium, large-----and what if you have never had intimate relations with this person????? what the world needs now..........
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Hi Bob, I am sorting through my place, organizing, donating stuff, etc..... The thought occurred to me: what would Bob do about paperwork? How long do you keep bank statements, medical records, instruction booklets, legal docs, etc.... I know Bob is the Guru of ALL, and had to ask- hitting the papers is my next project after painting and sorting through clothing! much love, GEM what the world needs now..........
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Dear Dr. Bob, As I read your column every week, I wondered- will you be coming out with a book soon? I think we all could benefit from your wisdom, why not share with the world?!? And perhaps Peepers can make a cameo? Or write the introduction? what the world needs now..........
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Dear Bob, It's been a while since your last photo session. Will you be scheduling another soon with a new partner? Ever share your partners with MO? what the world needs now..........
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Dear Bob, I know you have the answers to everything. This is not on a sexual topic - but somehow me thinks you can answer everything and anything. I bought these corkboard thingies to attach to the inside of my computer armoire. Problem is, the sticky things don't work, can't hold the boards up. So now I have sticky crap in some places and the adhesive squares still stuck. How do I safely clean this up without ruining the wood? Clueless in VA what the world needs now..........
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Dearest wiseclown Bob...How do you go about cleaning your "toys" after a "session" beit alone...or with a partner? Wanna make sure those things are squeaky clean the next time I use them. (Not that I use them all the time or anything  ) Just curious...Ive been told alcohol...or antibacterial soap (but I find that washing them with soap sometimes results in non working friends) Please help oh wise one...help me preserve my "funsticks" for lots of future fun! Smooches!! "Pay no attention to the man behind the clown...beyond the zipper"
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Is this in any way related to trouser trout? looking for love
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Bob, How do YOU celebrate the holidays? Instead of decorating a tree, do you decorate yourself? what the world needs now..........
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