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Defining
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Defining I think people would be much happier if they greatly expanded their definition of "fuckable". When I was younger, there was a tremendous amount of ego involved in picking<b> sex partners. </font></b>I had what at the time I considered very high standards. I have since realized that what I had was an exceptionally fragile ego and need to build my self esteem by hooking up only with girls I felt I could brag about after to my friends. Mind you, I never bragged, at least rarely so: I've never been one for kiss and tell. But when I was younger I dated girls who had worked as models, a couple of strippers, the hot chick cheerleader or sorority girl type, and consciously avoided girls who were even above average as not up to "my standard". I started to broaden my horizons a bit, mainly because of a voracious sexual appetite (I've always had an unnaturally high libido, even in college the girls I dated all commented on how much stronger my appetite was than anyone they knew, and this was compared with a group of late early 20-something boys). After a bit of this I started to realize something. If I made a list of the most visually appealing girls I'd been with and the best lays I had two very different lists. Even among the visually appealing ones if I rated them clothes on vs clothes off I had very different lists. The girl who really set me thinking about this was plain faced, and looked almost frumpy fully clothed, maybe slightly to the chunky side. I ended up in bed with her mainly by accident, and when I got her naked she was stunning, one of the best bodies I've seen that close up. She looked like a bikini model, was athletic and very curvy, and gave one of the best blowjobs I'd ever had, and honestly, if she hadn't been the aggressor I'd have taken a pass. If I'd had a second choice that night I'd have taken a pass. I would have missed out on a fantastic girl I had a lot of fun with over the next few months. Hmmm. After thinking it over I learned a couple of things, lessons if you will that I still agree with. One is that you honestly can't really rate how attractive someone is until they are naked and in your bed. I mentioned a plain girl who looked like the Garden of Eden with her clothes off, I've had the opposite experience as well, gotten alone with a fantastically beautiful woman only to have a sort of inner shrug and "that's it?" response. Another thing I've learned is that while the attraction part certainly helps, it isn't everything. A good personality fit helps more than a good look. Making that personality contact, sharing a sense of humor, the little non sexual shared looks when we can tell we are both thinking the same thing, that kind of stuff just seems to go a lot more toward indicating sexual compatibility than asking myself if she matches my preset biases of what looks good, or rather what I think SHOULD look good (these aren't always the same, you know). In the end, my definition of "fuckable" has gotten much broader, and I'm much more inclined to take chances. Ultimately, what do I have to lose? And vs. what I possibly have to gain, this one is a no brainer, or at least should be even though it took a lot of thinking to figure out! So what about the rest of you? Do you define "hot" in a narrow sense, or are your tastes much broader? How closely do you stick to your presets on attractiveness, and how open minded are you about straying from your comfort zone here? What makes you happiest? |
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