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Blogs > myelin36 > Dirty Little Secrets

Holiday Stress  

myelin36 53F
4614 posts
12/12/2015 8:15 am
Holiday Stress

I am finding it difficult to blog lately. Every time I contemplate writing a new blog post, my mind is clouded with a billion other things I should be doing.

For a lot of people including myself, the holidays are a stressful time. Of course there are the usual preparations for the holidays- decorating, cooking, wrapping and such. Then there are the invitations to holiday parties that I often feel obligated to attend. Last weekend I totally spaced out a holiday concert that I had tickets for and was disappointed when I realized what I'd done.

Topping off this month, the holidays aren't always festive for a great many people. I've seen a huge increase with sliding into the abyss of depression; I've had to implement more crisis resolution and safety plans due to increased suicidal thoughts. Couples are fighting.

Why is it that some people are more affected than others by the holidays? Perhaps it could be for some that the holidays reinforce thoughts of loneliness and isolation or missing a deceased loved one. Could it also be that people are putting too much pressure on themselves to spend more, do more, and be more to others? When we clearly can't meet these unrealistic expectations, our brain has a way of often becoming our own worst enemy.

Here are a few steps you can take to safeguard yourself against holiday depression.

The number one rule is: Give yourself permission. Permission to drastically cut back on holiday preparations, permission to feel emotions other than unqualified joy and happiness and permission to gently but firmly say “no” to family and friends.

Other things to consider: focus on mindfulness which means staying in the moment. When your mind begins to wander, gently bring yourself back to the present. I find practicing good self care and gratitude toward others to be a good insurance policy for staying mentally healthy.

What are you doing to manage your holiday stress?
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ironman2769 58M  
12877 posts
12/12/2015 8:28 am

 This year I got lucky. I was able to cut back on my traveling and am spending most of December home.....
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myelin36 replies on 12/13/2015 5:23 pm:
Excellent. I usually need my downtime after a trip.

oldbstrd55 67M
3292 posts
12/12/2015 8:34 am

 I don't think I would survive without stress. Keeps my heart pumping.


myelin36 replies on 12/13/2015 5:22 pm:
I tend to be more productive when I am under a deadline or have stress.

veryfunnycple64 60M/60F
21770 posts
12/12/2015 9:14 am

 Holidays are not a happy place for me....but I fake it. I do it for my daughter and my GF. I handle my stress by blogging, exercising, and having me time!
“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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myelin36 replies on 12/12/2015 1:16 pm:
We share a lot of similarities. I find myself going through the motions because being a parent often requires that we often make sacrifices to our own detriment.

sphxdiver 74M
21063 posts
12/12/2015 9:40 am

 I quit doing the holiday thing many, many years ago, don't really have that problem anymore.


myelin36 replies on 12/12/2015 1:22 pm:
I wish I could bow out of doing holiday stuff. When you have a kid depending on you, you must make concessions.

Acuriouscat48 60M

12/12/2015 10:44 am

 I call it the silly season


SlenderGal88 57F  
Ask me for a photo
10361 posts
12/12/2015 4:57 pm

 i turned the phone off for an hour. no texts, no messages. people didn't die, no one got hurt. I felt 100% better.
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myelin36 replies on 12/13/2015 5:18 pm:
I never leave my phone on any setting other than the silent position. I can return a call or text at my leisure. This has helped to cut my stress in half.

citizen4722 66M  
74582 posts
12/13/2015 7:59 am

 I can't get around so well at the moment because of a painfully sore right ankle. I have it bandaged from just above my toes to just under my knee.
It is stressful as I have a lot to do. I'm listening to a Sandy Denny CD (Rendezvous) as I'm typing this. I like her soothing voice. Sadly missed.


myelin36 replies on 12/13/2015 5:27 pm:
When I am home alone, I often find myself listening to blues music. I usually feel more in tune with myself after I spend time listening to music. Hope you get to feeling better. XOXO

humorlife 56M  
5710 posts
12/17/2015 4:00 pm

 These are very specific actions one can take to fulfill the admonition "love yourself."

Both because of my religion and my relatively small family, the holidays have never been a huge deal. They've gotten bigger as I've dated outside the Hebraic faith, but that's been primarily as an outsider.

I've actually been more busy with work and deadlines of late than the holidays... thankfully, on the actual day(s) themselves -- because one must give Channukah a nod -- there's always a friend or two to indulge in ribbon games with!
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myelin36 replies on 12/20/2015 7:05 pm:
I miss chatting with you!

ProfPlayful 53M
3861 posts
12/27/2015 5:25 am
    Quoting Calgfriend:
    I read this post last night and got so upset I had to take a day to think about it before I responded. What happened that you would talk about "holiday" wrapping, cooking, concerts, etc.? Why do you feel it is necessary to avoid the use of the proper term of "Christmas"? I am so saddened that we have lost or culture and our identity. We are ashamed to protect anything including the very things that we obviously cherish the most.

    I know you will respond with your concern about offending those who don't celebrate of recognize Christmas, to which I say "tough shit". They don't the names of their significant religious events and rename them "holiday".

    I know I will likely be banned from your blog, but that is the price I'm prepared to take to call out the P.C. bullshit.

    Have a very Merry Christmas!!
Calgfriend, the topic of Holiday Stress is that holidays cause stress. Your response seems to be an anti-Christmas rant. Did you mean to imply t Christmas is the worst holiday?

I am a Christian and I do celebrate Christmas, but for me Thanksgiving is when I miss my late mother and grandparents the most.

Whatever your intention, I do wish you a belated Merry Christmas.
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