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Relationships
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Relationships Well it's been an odd week. I just have had other things on my mind and haven't had much of an urge to write. Don't worry they have all been good things. For anyone that might have missed it the woman I asked out said yes. And we are trying to work out some time to have dinner this weekend. Well she is trying to work some things out so that she could make it. Basically I'm waiting to hear back. I also missed HNW this week. But I also haven't had a chance to take any new pictures. I still say I need a photographer. But apparently I have noticeably lost weight as two people mentioned it this week. Both on Monday, one at work and one is a friend from here who I hadn't heard from in a while. But we had a short conversation after I sent out the Halloween message. Ok I hope you will take this late pic for HNW. And then below it I'll get to what I actually wanted to talk about.  Today my scattered mind wants to talk about something that I really have no business talking about. The "R" word, relationships. Why do I have no business talking about it you ask? Well I have never had one, at least not of a romantic nature. Never even really been close. But there must be something in the air, because it wasn't so long ago that several people here were talking about relationships. So if you are one of those people I'm not directing this post at you in any way. Why am I thinking about this? Well there are a couple reasons. One being that my aunt and uncle have been having some issues along with a number of you that have been talking about "down turns." (Again must be something in the air). But then I also have friends here who are in stats of bliss with theirs. And I don't want to put the cart before the but there is potential with what is happening with me. Now what will happen there who knows. Maybe it will end up not working, or maybe it will. But it has me seriously thinking about how one would work in my life for the first time in years. Sorry I know this is coming off as rambling. I told you my mind has been scattered. But is seems to me there are basically 3 types of relationships, Monogamous, Open, and poly. Before I start I just want to state that none of these are right or wrong. But they are an individual lifestyle choice. Which ever one you choose for yourself is the one that is right for you. That doesn't mean it is right for everyone. Now Monogamous is pretty self explanatory. You have one partner, you love them (hopefully) and they are the only one you share your body with. Could I be happy with this type of a relationship. Yep I think I could. Now my definition of an<b> open relationship </font></b>for the purpose of this post. Is there is a main partner, be it a gf/bf or a wife/husband, depending on which way you swing. But you are allowed to sleep with others, as a FWB type of thing. Now from what I have picked up talking to people is that there are usually rules. And they would be needed to make something like that work. And both people must follow them or it will not work. And is one person is not getting to reap the benefits of this lifestyle chances are that problems will emerge even if the other member is fallowing all the rules. Could I do something like this? Assuming it wasn't one sided for either side I think I might be able to. But who knows. And finally Poly. Having multiple loving relationships, I'm not sure if there is usually a main relationship in this, I'd imagine that would vary from person to person though. Again I've never been in the position to explore if this is something that could work for me. I would think this one would be the most complicated because there are strong feelings of love involved (or at least I assume there are) for all your partners. Would it work for me? I don't know. This is the one I would question the most on that. I know I don't always show a lot of emotion, but I do feel and love strongly, sometimes too much so. Keep in mind this part is just an observation based on seeing what has happened to several different people that I have talked with. When a relationship starts based around monogamy and people try to expand it for whatever reason, it is more likely that more problems will surface down the line the threaten or end the relationship. I know this isn't always the case. I have seen going from mono to open or poly work for some. But more often then not it is just a temporary stop gap until more issues surface. However going from an<b> open relationship </font></b>to a monogamous one seems to be a much easier transition. But again that is just a general observation. Now what do I think would be the best for me personally. Well I think for the most part I would go with a cross between monogamous and open. In an ideal world I would be with a woman who the sexual chemistry was fantastic, and we loved each other with everything we had. But there are two freedoms I would like to have. One being that I really enjoy giving women massages. So I would like the freedom to give them to women that wanted me to give them. And kissing, I love to kiss so I would like the freedom to kiss other women should the mood strike in curtain situations. And maybe a little playful fondling would be allowed at play parties or blogger bashes.  But I would be perfectly happy if that was it any anything more was saved for the woman I was with.So being that most if not all of you are going to be more experienced in relationships then me I would like to know your thoughts on them? Do you think I have a decent take on what I wrote? Or am I totally cracked and need a reality check? |
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Congratulations on your weight loss  As for your definitions, I'm sure there are other shades in there...what about relationships where one person thinks it's monogamous but the other person is cheating? In any case, I am moving from an open relationship mindset to a poly one. It's not going to be easy...I think successful poly people have to be good communicators. But I do know this: it would be hard for me to go back to a monogamous relationship after 4 years experience with nonmonogamy. ***
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I don't know that I fit any defined mold. I have a handful of lovers, all aware of others, all non-committed. Where does that put me? Not to say I wouldn't consider returning to a monogamous relationship, if it was right for me and da chirrens. Just with these...well...the fantasy is more enticing than the reality. I suppose I could explain more if it mattered. As for you, no you are not cracked, or crazy. You are a seeker of knowledge, and barring direct experience, you contact a first-hand source. When you find someone(and you will), then you can determine what kind of relationship works for the two of you. I suspect you are a very monogamous person--backrubs do not define an open relationship--who is also very social and needs a boundary level that allows friendly/flirting interaction with others. To my mind, open relationships involve some sort of sexual contact outside a committed relationship. But then again, let's not put the cart before the horse...we all want to know how dinner went! Ur.Grrl.CC 
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when it comes to defining things in relationships and such I think there are always some grey areas but I think you are pretty darn close to knowing their meanings. One can learn alot from observations, but can not fully understand until they have felt the emotional part of it as well, you seem to have a pretty grasp on things as you can right now. I only know what I have seen in my lifetime, that momos who go open or poly will end up with problems.. and the other who start out as poly or open end up with problems as well. I would hope though the ones in open, polys have discussed before what the terms are and are ready for the what ifs that will end up happening. Like I said this has been my experience, I am sure otgher people have had different ones so their answers will vary btw congrats on the weight loose !! doesnt it feel great when people notice !! 
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Good luck on your date! Can't wait to read about it!!!! *nice pic! are those drippy cum stains on your wall? hmmmm? I have no effing clue where I'm going and what I'm saying Vixn_Vella Its not me....It's you. And no...we cannot be friends
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