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The old pattern continues ...
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The old pattern continues ... ***Disclaimer*** This post is going to be another journal entry documenting my failures in the dating realm. If that isn't something you want to read, turn back now or head up to my index and find something more fun to read out of my past writings. So went I last left you I'd just got back from Vegas and possibly had a date coming up (which never happens for me). At the time I was thinking that maybe the same old pattern wouldn't continue and that I'd at least get a date. Well I got my hopes up too soon. There was and will be no date and chances are there never was going to be. The basics are that she said she would go out with me and that I should send her a message to set it up (that should have been clue number 1 but I didn't see it at the time). So I sent her a message after I got back from Vegas (like I told her I would). Waited 2-3 weeks and got know response (should have been clue 2). So I sent another, and another 2-3 weeks of silence. Ran into her at an event and let her know that I'd sent her the messages. Too which she said she'd been busy and hadn't been on the site to read them (what clue number are we on now? 3 I think). But I'm gullible and want to believe people. Especially those I have crushes on. Sent her one last message figuring I'd take one last shot since she hadn't told me she changed her mind, and you guessed it nothing. Saw her an the same event again (the event happens once a month). At the event I realized that we weren't going to be going out. Which upset me, not because she obviously wasn't interested, but because she decided to lie to my face and not be honest with me. After knowing me for years. So when I got home I logged onto fet and did a post about honesty and treating people like they matter. She apparently saw the post and apologized for not replying and for "upsetting" me or "hurting" my feelings. But never for lying to me, or treating me like I didn't matter. In the message she told me that something "terrible" apparently happened to her "weeks ago" and that she decided she wasn't going to date anyone nor did she want to socialize. Well that is all well and good except the timing didn't add up. Based on posts I saw her make on fet either this terrible thing happened before I asked her out. In which case all she had to do was turn me down at the time and there would have been no problem (I've never, nor will I ever hold it against someone that they aren't interested) her and I would be fine right now. Or it happened after, in which case she likely lied to me about not seeing the message and never bothered to tell me that something happened and she wouldn't be able to go out with me. Again there wouldn't have been a problem had she been honest with me. Instead she opted to ignore me, effectively telling me that my feelings, efforts, time and friendship didn't matter. Her and I have known each other for years. But she also apparently does like me and think I'm a nice guy. Also saying she would like to continue getting to know me as a friend. Well she has a funny way of showing it. I did respond, saying I was truly sorry that something happened to her and wished her luck in working through it. But saying that I'd been treated like this by women too many times in the past and right now I can't comment further because I'll likely say something I'll regret and neither of us needed that. I also mentioned that as far as getting to know each other as friends, time would tell. My experience is that when someone treats you like this, chances are they are trying to save face and don't really care much about your feelings. The ones that really are sorry will reach out when things calm down and hurt feelings aren't so fresh. I'm not hopeful but I guess we will see if she really is sorry about what she did. But I wont be holding my breath. But on the bright side the headache I got from having a heavy piece of metal fall on my head at work yesterday is gone and I have shown no other symptoms of a concussion so that's a plus. (I know that is completely unrelated, but I wanted to end with something a little more positive). |
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I am the same, always trying to give people the benefit of the doubt when really I should just be telling them to fuck off pretty much. I've had the same crap happen where the guy was just lying and couldn't just be up front. It just boggles my mind. I sent an Angel to watch over you last night, it returned in a hurry. I asked why, it said "Angels can't watch porn." Thanks for fucking traumatizing my fucking Angel! Don't bother trying to figure me out. Not even the little voices in my head understand me. It's pointless!
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