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| Blogs > Erotictabby4You > Psyckotic Pleasures |
response to a new person in the BDSM lifestyle
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response to a new person in the BDSM lifestyle This is a response to a new person's question about being new in the lifestyle - posted with permission. Good questions my friend. The same I have asked myself over and over again. I am new to this lifestyle myself. I can tell you there is NO manual that will tell you what YOU need to do. It all comes from within. I learned a lot from watching others, both in play and just social interactions. Reading books has helped me. I use them as a guide (or really just to get idea's haha). "The Master's Manual", "The loving Dominant" "Different Loving", etc. All of them good books and all of them with parts that I think rock and others that I think are so far out that I wouldn't even dream of doing that shit! haha. I have heard over and over again, "do what comes natural". Yeah sure, isn't there an expected behavior you are supposed to exhibit? Hell no. Do what "YOU" find natural. I find my dominance more in the bedroom then out, but I think that may be true for a lot of people too. There are so many years of "Social programming" that we need to break down. For years you are taught that you are to "always " respect a woman. Although I won't ever deny that, but am I respecting a woman by calling her a "bitch, slut or ", or grabbing the back of her hair (oh hell yeah...) and "taking control"? If if rocks for both of you HELL YES! The respect is showing that you care enough to make her world rock as much as yours. My thoughts...You don't "become" a Dom...or a sub...or anything, all you do is realize who you are, or at the very least you explore who you think you "may" be. And that, my friend, may take a long time, if the self realization ever happens for you. I personally have yet to submit to anyone. Quite frankly the thought of it scares the hell out of me, and does nothing for me. However, for me, taking control rocks. I'll tell ya this though. I will not claim to be a "True Dominant". I feal that, giving the right combination of people/personalitie s, EVERYONE can and will display aspects of both Dominance and submission. Probably not at the same time, but with the right person, you'll take charge and be a Dom, with the "other" right person, you'll coware in submission. I shouldn't use the word coware. I should say, you would be willing to give yourself completely and totally to that person. I guess I am saying it is easy to be a Dom, being a submissive on other hand, that takes courage. I hope this helps you in your quest for self realization. Just remember, it won't happen over night, it won't happen tomorrow, take your time with it. Enjoy whatever YOU enjoy. It doesn't matter what other people think, it all comes from within. Patience... written by Spirit How true His words are ~ i miss you my friend... as always i remain "me" for You  "WE RISE BY KNEELING. WE CONQUER BY SURRENDERING. WE GAIN BY GIVING UP." |
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